


Pensieve

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-10
Updated: 2006-02-12
Packaged: 2019-01-19 12:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 57,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12410487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: He's a Marauder, she's a prefect, and this is the quintessential romantic-comedy that follows what could have happened their 6th year at Hogwarts (written pre-OotP and HBP)





	1. Knocks and Turns

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

Usual Disclaimer:  All the characters (well almost all of them) are property of J.K. Rowling and I’m merely borrowing her brilliance and her world with no claim to it at all.  I’d like to thank the Harry Potter Lexicon in particular since they’re help in filling in the holes of Ms. Rowling’s world has been invaluable to making this story as authentic as possible.  Please look them up sometime.  

 

As for why I chose to focus on the Lily and James era of things?  Well the characters aren’t so deeply established (for the most part) that I have to worry about stepping over Ms. Rowling’s toes and perverting her thoughtful creations beyond necessity.  I hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

 

_NOTE:  Pensieve was originally written pre- OotP and HPB nor has it been amended to fit the canon of either the 5th or 6th Book.  I have no intention of rewriting this to include JKR’s more recent books and interviews since it is fanfiction.  If you are a canon conservative you may wish to read something else, but for those of you who don’t mind a few discrepancies I hope you enjoy reading Pensieve as much as I have writing it_

* * *

 

Chapter 1

~ Knocks and Turns ~

 

By: Oy! Angelina

 

* * *

Lily Evans roamed Diagon Alley listlessly.  She was alone (although she had seen and spoken with a few other Hogwarts students in passing) and was weighed down by a few bags already.  Lily — saving her heavier shopping for later so as not to burden herself anymore than she had already managed to — was content to wander into shop after shop, exploring their wares.  She had committed herself to getting a sundae at Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor at some point, but had an otherwise free agenda for the day.  Although she wasn’t uncomfortable with it, Lily was growing slightly tired of being alone with only her thoughts for company.

Her older sister, Petunia, had made such a fuss about all the attention Lily was getting she demanded her own quality time with their parents.  They offered to take her along to Diagon Alley since she had never been there, but Petunia insisted buying Lily’s “freakish”� school supplies wasn’t her idea of a holiday.  Petunia’s moping and pouting had eventually wore on all the Evans and Lily (feeling a little guilty over her sisters jealousy and hostility) told her parents she was more than able to get all her things for Hogwarts on her own.  The Evans dropped Lily off in front of the Leaky Cauldron at ten that morning, promising to retrieve her at six that evening.  

That was more than enough time for Lily to have a leisurely afternoon in Diagon Alley and gradually become bored out of her mind.  

As she found herself lingering outside Quality Quidditch Supplies, Lily shrugged to herself and decided to go in; passing the pack of young wizard children gawking at whatever top-of-the-line broom was on display in the window.  Lily assumed her stay within the shop would be relatively brief since her only interest for Quidditch was infrequent at best.  Aside from her support of the Gryffindor House team, Lily didn’t keep up much with Quidditch on large.  She figured it was largely attributed to her not finding the energy to follow along with Muggle sports, let alone ones only found in the wizarding world.  Still, she always had a good time watching the House matches and wouldn’t mind seeing a professional match sometime, as Quidditch was easily the most exciting sport invented.

Lily stepped into the shop just as James Potter stepped out.  Colliding gently into one another, the contents of their bags rustled.  Lily would be lying if she said she were surprised to find him there.  He was the Chaser, Captain, and all around star player of their House Quidditch team.  In fact, it wouldn’t have surprised her if she found out James Potter was living out of the back of Quality Quidditch Supplies.  

James face lit up when he saw Lily as he (almost self-consciously if Lily didn’t know for a fact James had all the confidence in the world) readjusted his circular spectacles and ran a hand through his black mess of hair that wouldn’t lay flat if it was charmed to.  

Lily sighed a little.  

It wasn’t that she disliked James.  They were both Gryffindors and ran in pretty much the same social circles, but James was something of a goof-off in spite of his potent magical skill and relation to a respectable wizarding family.  He was cocky, brash, and sometimes even a prat, but James was irredeemably gallant and had a charm to him that made it hard to utterly dislike him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry James,”� Lily apologized casually since no one had been hurt and nothing had been broken.  

James bowed jokingly.  “Fancy meeting you here, Miss Evans.”�  

James was failing miserably as he attempted to maintain his stiff pretense, making it apparent that formality didn’t suit him well.  

“Got wind that you’re our new House Kill-Joy.”�

 “I’ll assume you meant Prefect,”� Lily said dryly but cracked a smile.  She knew James was only teasing and she expected no less from him now, as they were about to enter their 6th Year at Hogwarts.

“Yes well, you only got the position because I didn’t want it,”� James insisted with a grin twitching over his lips.   

Lily knew he had meant this as a joke, but considering everyone had James pegged on the fast-track to becoming Head Boy, she had no doubt that if he had bothered to apply himself to following at least a fraction of the school rules, he’d be wearing the Prefect badge instead of her.

“I can see how it would be a conflict of interests.   You’d have to subtract points from Gryffindor every time you come up with something new and deviant to slip under the noses of the faculty,”� Lily solemnly nodded.  “We’d be in the negatives every time you had a brainstorm.”�

James laughed.  Lily was always fond of hearing James laugh, though there were times in the past where it had been at her expense.  There was sincerity to it; letting people around him know he was genuinely amused.  Lily sighed, shaking her head and long red hair with it.

“You’re not going to make my job easy are you?  Lily observed in an almost pleading tone.  James flashed her a broad grin as he draped an arm over her shoulders playfully.

“Now where would be the fun in that for either party?”�  James inquired.  “So tell me, Prefect Evans.  What does a bloke have to do to find himself in your good graces this year?

“Obey all the school rules,”� Lily said sweetly.  “Particularly the one about sneaking out after hours.”�  She threw the last one in since she knew that James was a repeat offender at late night strolls through Hogwarts to places he didn’t really belong.

“See, that’s not going to really work for me,”� James confessed earnestly.  “I was kind of hoping I’d be able to buy you off.  Name your price, Lily: sweets from Honeydukes?  Monthly payoffs of Galleons?”�

A wicked smile crept of James.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to snogging and shagging, if you’re so inclined.”�

Lily shifted out of James grip enough to slap him in the back of the head, not nearly as hard as he deserved.  James rubbed around the newly tender spot on his head, more for effect than pain.

“Crossed the line, did I?”�  James said dryly.

“If you’re curious, the part about ‘shagging’ is where you overplayed your hand,”� Lily informed curtly as she made her way into Diagon Alley without James, wagging her finger as she left.  “Try it again and it’ll be five points from Gryffindor.”�

Lily burned over James’s boldness with her, but couldn’t deny she was flattered.  She slightly regretted slapping him, but she didn’t want to encourage James along his pratish ways even if she happened to find something roguishly charming about him.  Lily had to maintain some level of respect from him if she wasn’t going to let him of his friends walk all over her as a Prefect.

* * *

“Bloody Hell, James!  I leave you alone for twenty minutes only to find our Prefect smacking the hell out of you?”� Sirius Black bellowed as he and Remus Lupin emerged from Gambol & Japes, stocking up on jokes for the upcoming school term. 

Sirius, James’s best friend, was tall, dark, and very handsome if someone cared to describe him in the simplest terms.  Remus, taller than either James or Sirius, was a frailer looking that his friends, but his unkempt brown hair and worn expression gave him a certain gentle appeal.

“Would you believe I had it coming?”� James smirked.

“Well we knew that already,”� Remus assured, “we were just curious about the specifics.”�

“Felt like seeing what my shoe tasted like is all,”� James replied.  Not in the mood the catch hell from his friends, James deflected to a new subject. “Where’s Peter?”�

“Off getting fitted for new robes, last we saw,”� Remus said thoughtfully as he glanced up and down the alley.  “Probably would have checked for us in Gambol & Japes if he had finished up.”�

“Let’s go find him, hmm?”� James suggested. “We should start getting our school stuff anyway.”�

The Marauders made their way along the length of Diagon Alley on James advice, trading jokes and pointing anything interesting along the way.  James occasionally glanced over his shoulder, hoping to catch a glimpse of Lily again in the crowd.  

He silently chided himself for his randy joke since it had evidently got her so upset.  Why had she got so upset?  It was just a joke after all.  James thought Lily knew him well enough by now to know that half the time he was joking and the other half he was silent or unconscious.  

“Knut for your thoughts, James?”� Remus asked as they opened the door to Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions.  

James shook his head and shrugged.  “Just wondering if there’s any way we can convince Kettleburn to let us study women in Care for Magical Creatures is all.”�  

“Now there’s a suggestion!”� Sirius agreed. “Be a bit more practical than seeing how many fingers the man can lose to a Hippogriff before it isn’t hungry anymore.”�  

The three boys shared a laugh as Peter Pettigrew joined the three carrying his parcels and laughing as well.  He was the shortest and roundest of his friends.  Though not necessarily unattractive or outright vulgar, the fact Peter kept company with some of the most popular boys at Hogwarts didn’t do much to assist his overall appeal by comparison.  Peter couldn’t be sure what the joke exactly was but he trusted it was worth a laugh.

“All finished up in here, Wormtail?”� Remus inquired.  

Peter gave a nod.  “Set for now, though if I get any pudgier my next set of robes will have to be cut from a tent.  Where to then?”�

“Well we _could_ look about for other people from school?”� James coolly offered up.  He wanted an excuse to seek out a certain redhead and exchange a quip or two to tide him over until they were all aboard the Hogwarts Express at the beginning of September.

“Such as Lily Evans?”� Remus raised an eyebrow in James direction.

“If _you_ insist,”� James relented as casually as he could.

“Ah,”� was all Remus would say on the matter; however, Sirius managed to find a few more words.

“Well if he didn’t I would have!”� Sirius admitted boomingly. “I feel like sending her parents an owl profusely thanking them for the gift to the world that is Lily Evans.”�

Sirius swooned a little overdramatically but he got his point across effectively enough for his friends.

“Fancy her, eh Padfoot?”� Remus mastered the obvious. “Not that I blame you, but since when?”�

“Bugger…”� Sirius ran a hand through his long black hair as he exhaled loudly.  “I don’t know, maybe ‘round last year.  Seeing her with James back there just sort of reminded me of how much things can change from 1st Year.”� 

“I’d say!”� Peter chimed in. “Name me something that girl _hasn’t_ going for her.”�

“Looks?”� Remus tried.

“Better than a Veela,”� Sirius defended.

“Brains?”�

“Could give a sphinx a run for its Galleons!”�

“Personality?”�

“Her most effective Charms have little to do with wands, Moony.”�

“So it’s decided that Lily Evans is perfect in every manner,”� Remus settled half-seriously. 

“I suppose we’ll just have to start killing each other until its last man standing then,”� Peter interjected playfully.

"You three can get started on that if you’d like.  I’ll just busy myself with actually trying to win her over,”� Sirius winked.  James was tempted to punch his friend in the face at the moment for some reason, but thought it would violate less social norms to simply laugh along.

“Oh come now, Sirius,”� James finished faking his laugh, “you’re more likely to transfer into Slytherin than get Lily Evans as your typical snog and run.  You expect us to believe you’d give up your swinging life as the most eligible bachelor at Hogwarts?”�

Peter and Remus turned to Sirius awaiting a response.  James was trying to discern how serious his best friend was about Lily.  He wasn’t entirely sure why it mattered to him, but it did.  Pausing to consider this, Sirius finally settled on a decision.  

“If someone like Lily would be willing to give her heart to you, how could you do anything but accept?”� Sirius challenged.  The other Marauders nodded to this.  

“Well then!  Shall we go find some butterbeers to toast Padfoot’s luck at winning over the prettiest Prefect Hogwarts has ever produced?”� Peter broadly smiled.  Sirius threw an arm around James, and gave him a friendly squeeze.

“I’ll see to it you’re best man at the wedding of Sirius and Lily Black,”� Sirius confided.  

James thought the idea of drinks sounded like a good idea but not for the reasons Peter suggested.  James was feeling irked by all this and he wasn’t too sure why.  Figuring he was just worried a steady girlfriend who happened to also be a Prefect would cramp the Marauders deviant style, James was determined to get his best friend off this pursuit of Lily Evans, even if it took every last bit of his cunning.  

The question was how to do it without hurting Sirius or letting him know what he was up to?

* * *

After perusing the Magical Menagerie for a good half hour, Lily abandoned the noisy shop and returned to Diagon Alley.  At its intersection with Knockturn Alley (a shady area known for its darker merchandise), Lily saw another familiar face hovering in place.

“Afternoon Snape,”� Lily couldn’t keep the curious note out of her tone.  “What are you doing here?”�

Severus Snape was as pale and gaunt as Lily remembered him at the end of last year.  The only thing that seemed to change was his oily looking black hair seemed to have grown a bit.  If possible, Snape seemed to go more rigid as Lily approached him.

“I imagine the same as you, Evans,”� Snape’s detached voice responded.  “Buying supplies for the new term.”�

“I meant _here_ ,”� Lily gestured toward the signs labeling the branch off of Knockturn Alley.  “Gives off the wrong sort of impression and all.”�

“I’m expecting to meet with some members of my House,”� Snape answered, “this is nothing more than the place they specified.  They should be here…momentarily.”�  

Lily grew uncomfortable with the idea of being surrounded by a pack of Slytherins and she got the impression that’s what Snape was hoping to achieve.  Ever since the 1ST Year, the only times Lily could recall Snape was skulking about on his own or exchanging harsh banter with James Potter and his friends.  He seemed alone, even amongst the members of his own House and Lily couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for him.  She had no idea what pain or grudge it was Snape was nursing, but whatever it may be Lily had never met a person more jaded or berating that Severus Snape.  Not willing to be driven off by his irreparable foul mood, Lily attempted pleasant conversation.

“I see you’ve already acquired your Potion supplies,”� Lily observed, nodding to a rather large bag in Snape’s hand from the Apothecary.  “By the looks of it you could outfit our entire class.”�  The Gryffindors and Slytherins have shared Potions together since long before either Lily or Snape arrived at Hogwarts.  

Snape said nothing to Lily.  He only studied her, as though to determine if she were setting up for some joke at his expense.  Lily guessed more than one person had feigned kindness in order to bring Snape’s defenses down before tearing in.

“You’re really good in Potions,”� Lily tried again.  “Is it your favorite subject?”�

“I’m partial to it,”� Snape admitted stiffly without offering too much.  Snape turned the conversation around on Lily as he was rarely fond of any discussion that he was the subject of. “I suppose we’ll be seeing more of each other outside Potions.”�  

Lily titled her head quizzically at Snape.  She wasn’t following.

“What with us both being Prefects for our respective Houses?”�  Snape’s eyebrow raised slightly.  Lily blinked, apparently unaware of this.

“I hadn’t heard you made Prefect.”�  Lily confessed.  

Snape smirked a little.  “Oh, that’s right.  You probably wouldn’t have living amongst the Muggles.”�  

Lily wasn’t too sure if he was merely observing her situation or making fun of it.  It was always impossible to tell with Severus Snape as his tone was constantly condescending.

“Well congratulations, Snape,”� Lily smiled politely.

“As to you,”� Snape nodded slightly.

“You being hassled, Lily?”�  A voice inquired from behind Lily and Snape.  James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter were all standing a few paces off from the pair and still approaching.

“No, thank you, Remus,”� Lily replied.  The feud between the Gryffindors and Slytherins was legendary and conclusions were typically jumped to whenever one was seen talking to the other.

“Mind if we join the conversation?”� James asked in a rhetorical manner.  A sarcastic grin crept over his face.  “So how about that local Quidditch team of which we are all mutually supportive of?”�

Snape was less than appreciative of James’s presence.  Few were sure where the rivalry began between the two, but most were certain that death would do little to distil the bad blood between Potter and Snape.

“Pity.  I figured at least one of you would have landed yourselves in Azkaban by now,”� Snape commented sarcastically.  There was a hint to his voice that he might have been actually disappointed by this revelation.

“That’s damn hilarious coming from the guy looking for bargain buys at Knockturn Alley,”� Sirius countered.

“He was just making his way from the Apothecary, Sirius,”� Lily stated without knowing for certain.  “No need to throw about accusations.”�

“Didn’t know you’ve taken to being Snape’s biographer, Lily,”� Peter joked.  Lily and Snape shared a scowl in his direction, causing him to shrink away slightly.  Snape shifted a quizzical glance at Lily, trying to determine why she was acting on his behalf.

“If you’re sure you’re all right, Lily…”�  Remus tried to diffuse the tension, serving his function as the most level headed of the four.  “We’ll be over at Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor if you care to meet up with us.”�

“I may see you there,”� Lily replied in a non-committal fashion.  Remus nodded and nudged the other Marauders.  Reluctantly, they followed Moony away after bidding their farewells to Lily and Snape.  Once the four were out of earshot, Snape turned to Lily defensively.

“What game were you playing at, Evans?”� Snape demanded rather harshly.  Lily was taken back a little by the unexpected hostility.

“Well they were jumping to conclusions and it really isn’t any of their business,”� Lily replied sincerely.  “But I meant it when I said it’s not a wise idea to let many people catch you coming out of Knockturn Alley.  Even if you are just, um, meeting friends, it gives people all sorts of impressions.”�

Snape studied Lily with his black eyes for a minute, as though to gage her sincerity.

“I would suggest you invest your energies into devising means to keep a short-reign on the Gryffindors in your charge rather than protecting me from the git, Potter, and his vapid cohorts,”� Snape cautioned stonily.  “I need your charity like I need a hole in my cauldron.  Good day, Evans.”�

As Snape skulked away into Diagon Alley, Lily was tempted to say something else but saw little point.

“Wouldn’t want him to waste all his good insults before the term starts,”� Lily muttered to herself as she decided to meet up with her Gryffindor friends before she finished buying her school supplies.

* * *

* * *


	2. Sonnets and Sarcasm

Usual Disclaimer:  All the characters (well almost all of them) are property of J.K. Rowling and I’m merely borrowing her brilliance and her world with no claim to it at all.  I’d like to thank the Harry Potter Lexicon in particular since they’re help in filling in the holes of Ms. Rowling’s world has been invaluable to making this story as authentic as possible.  Please look them up sometime.  

 

As for why I chose to focus on the Lily and James era of things?  Well the characters aren’t so deeply established (for the most part) that I have to worry about stepping over Ms. Rowling’s toes and perverting her thoughtful creations beyond necessity.  I hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

 

_NOTE:  Pensieve was originally written pre- OotP and HPB nor has it been amended to fit the canon of either the 5th or 6th Book.  I have no intention of rewriting this to include JKR’s more recent books and interviews since it is fanfiction.  If you are a canon conservative you may wish to read something else, but for those of you who don’t mind a few discrepancies I hope you enjoy reading Pensieve as much as I have writing it_

* * *

 

**Chapter 2**

**~ Sonnets and Sarcasm ~**

 

By: _Oy! Angelina_

Beta by: _Taiyourshoes_

 

* * *

James Potter spent the remaining days of summer brooding over a means to keep his best friend from perusing Lily Evans.  At times he felt guilty about this, wondering if he was sabotaging his friend’s happiness all because…well James hadn’t exactly worked out why he was so worked up, but he was a smart boy and was certain the answer would come to him soon. 

James pushed such unpleasant thoughts aside by telling himself that Sirius wasn’t _in love_ with Lily or anything, he was just interested because she was seemingly oblivious of the dashing Sirius Black.  James was convinced if his friend did manage to wrangle Lily to himself he’d lose interest soon enough and might unintentionally hurt Lily’s feelings in the process.

“So really I’m protecting them both, I guess,”� James said to himself in the Potter family estate.  He lived there alone now.  He hadn’t had any family outside the one he acquired through Hogwarts in years, Voldemort and his Death Eaters had seen to that.  Potter was considered a noble surname amongst wizarding folk as many noble people could once claim lineage to it.  As the darkness rose for magic, it came as little surprise that the Potters saw fit to face the evil head on and it offered little comfort to know they retained their valor until the bitter end.  James often wondered if this was some sort of omen even though he had always snubbed Divinations when at school.

_“Maybe I’m meant to share the same fate as the rest of my family,”�_ James glumly thought.  _“Suppose there are worse ways to die than bravely for the things you treasure.”�_

As far as James knew, the whole family line was threatening to end with him.  James had long since become resolved that he would maintain the honor of his family and avenge what was taken from him if he could.  He knew this meant he wouldn’t be able to hunt Voldemort; he couldn’t have both his family’s honor and vengeance that way.  James knew he would be forced to sacrifice one and that’s not what he wanted to become of the Potter name.  He would fight Voldemort just as he faced any threat in his life: with cunning and gallantry, something James was desperate to prove.  But for the time being there was little he could do about Voldemort or his thinning bloodline.  

Not until he graduated Hogwarts.

At age sixteen, James found reality to be positively crushing at times.  All he could do now is learn everything he would need when he came of age and be the best friend he could to those willing to take him on, which seemed to be more people than he could have wildly imagined in his first days at Hogwarts.  Popularity mattered in only fleeting portions to James.  What he valued most were the precious few he could truly call friends.  

Peter Pettigrew vindicated James, made him feel like he was important to someone and that people were right to willingly trust and depend on him. Peter was content to have a friend like James to look out for him and James was more than happy to be that kind of friend for Peter.  Because of Peter’s insecurities, James saw a potential in his friend that he doubted many would ever know: an ambition to prove himself and the ability to always do what was truly right in the end.  

Remus Lupin was a kindred spirit to James.  Cursed to become a werewolf during the full moon of each month, Remus showed James the extents of which he himself was capable of showing loyalty to a friend and how much he was willing to sacrifice for those important to him.  James and both Peter and Sirius had jumped through endless hoops to help and protect their friend, from becoming illegal animagi to keeping Remus company while he was a werewolf to inventing strings of plausible lies to justify his frequent absences.  Because of his own personal woes and obligations, Remus was a comfort to James as they could relate to each other, as no one else seemed able to.  It made James feel less alone and overwhelmed.

He was perhaps most grateful for happy-go-lucky Sirius and his ability to make James forget what had happened and how much lay before him.  Sirius was James’s living reminder that they were both still sixteen.  That contribution on Sirius’s part was often the only thing keeping James’s sanity glued together.  What would James do without Sirius there to joke around with and prank beside?

“You’re such a prat Potter,”� James muttered to himself.  “You’re hung up on Lily because you’re afraid she’s going to steal your best friend from you.”�

James wondered if that was it.  It sounded true, but he had his doubts still.  He risked losing so much of himself with Sirius.  Lily wasn’t a bad person; in fact from what James knew of her, she would probably be the best thing that could ever happen to, well, anyone.  And he wanted the best for all his friends, especially his closest one.  But what if that created a rift between himself and Sirius that would never be repaired?  James wanted nothing more than Sirius to resume his usual casual dating practices and not worry him about this anymore.

Feeling conflicted all over again James wondered if he was hindering Sirius’s happiness so as not to threaten his own.  James sighed and ruffled his dark hair more so than it usually was.

“Okay,”� James breathed, “here’s what I’ll do.  If I think Sirius is just chasing Lily because he’s after a snog that’s a challenge, I’ll spare no expense of my cunning to undermine him…for both their own good.”�

Leaning into his arms, James felt the pangs of depression imbed themselves into his very core at the though to the alternative.

“But if he’s in love…truly in love…I’ll spare no expense of my cunning to make sure Lily Evans comes to him on silver platter with a bow around her neck,”� James groaned into the folds of his arm. “Oh, please just be hard up for a snog, Sirius.  We’re all too young to be in love!  Just hold off two more years to be really, truly happy so I can share that feeling with you.”� 

James decided to go to bed.  He would need to get some sleep if he was expected to be on the Hogwarts Express by 11 o’clock the next morning.

* * *

By the time he arrived at Platform 9 and ¾, James had devised a plan, which was (in his opinion) brilliant in keeping Sirius and Lily apart.  James would be himself and ensure that Sirius and the other Marauders did the same.  They would continue their pranking, their breaking of school rules and show Lily Evans the same courtesy they extended to every Prefect before her:

 None whatsoever.

James was willing to bet all the gold in Gringott’s that Lily would be so fed-up with them by winter holiday she’d be more inclined to strangle Sirius than she would snog him.  Not that he was planning on doing anything horrible to Lily, just a joke here or there to keep her on her toes and absolutely undermine her authority.  James felt confident this would work. 

No sooner did he board the Hogwarts Express and locate his friends was James faced with the opportunity to test out his current working plan.  In a compartment on the train, Lily Evans was seated across from Sirius and Peter with Remus next to her.  Lily must have been stopping in before she was expected to make an appearance in the prefect compartment.  Everyone appeared to be in the middle of talking about classes.

“ — I’m just saying, I don’t get Muggle Studies is all,”�  Sirius was finishing as James stepped.  His friend’s faces lit up as they saw him while Lily gave him a polite smile.  “Hey, we were wondering when you’d saunter on in.”�

“What were you four talking about?”� James deliberately sat himself between Remus and Lily, throwing an arm around each.

“Sirius seems to find Muggle Studies complicated,”� Lily explained.  James knew for a fact Sirius found Muggle Studies to be _boring_ , but was evidently trying to tone this down with Lily.  James decided to take advantage of the situation.

“Well it is!”� James agreed.  “How Muggles get along without magic is beyond me.”�  

“They improvise,”� Lily informed with a slightly haughty tone.  

James knew Lily was Muggle-Born.  Not that he really cared one way or another about parentage since some of the worst sorts of Wizards hailed from the best families and the other way around held just as true.  Still, he was on a mission to annoy Lily and he had to take the openings as they presented themselves.

“Peter, remember that paper Sirius wrote last term?”� James baited Wormtail, knowing he would be naÃ¯ve enough to keep his conversation rolling.  “You know, the one about Muggles and airplanes.”�

Peter started laughing at the memory of this while Sirius started to grow a bit awkward and Remus shifted his glance between the other four in the compartment.

“I think Lily knows all about airplanes, James,”� Remus commented while throwing a deliberate look to James.  “She’s Muggle-Born after all.”�

James did what he could to appear as though that fact had slipped his mind.  Lily got the impression Remus was deliberately trying to derail the conversation.  Lily eyed Peter.

“It wasn’t really by best work,”� Sirius stated.  Peter gave him a sharp nudge with his elbow as though he were just trying to be modest.

“Oh come on, it was hilarious!”� Peter declared before turning to Lily.  “We were in fits for weeks.”�

“Was it really that amusing?”� Lily asked politely, though a foreboding pitch had crept into her voice.  Peter nodded.

“Oh yeah!”� Peter replied.  “Sirius couldn’t figure out how the Muggles managed to get hunks of steel shaped like big birds off the ground and he had three feet of parchment due on the subject and since he was getting top marks in the class, he decided to float the assignment and turned it into a satyr.  His closing statement was ‘If Muggles had been intended to fly, they would have been given brooms.’ Brilliant!”�

“It was just meant as a lark, Lily,”� Remus assured, Lily nodded though her expression looked as though she had just tasted a particularly sour flavor of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans.  

Sirius weakly smiled and shrugged.  James patted himself on the back in silence.  He figured this would get Lily’s cauldron boiling and guessed right.  Sirius hadn’t meant anything by the paper; it was only to get a laugh out of people.  If Lily didn’t get that about his best friend, James didn’t want either to be wasting their time on one another.

“Of course, I have to admit I thought James’s paper was a little funnier,”� Peter confessed.  

In James’s opinion, the humor had suddenly left the situation.  Remus shook his head and covered his face, knowing Peter would inevitably continue.  Sirius started laughing wickedly as he looked at James.

“Oh, and what was James’s about?”� Lily asked curiously through clenched teeth.  James shot a panicked look at Peter that he either didn’t notice or didn’t care about.

“It was a poem actually!”� Sirius smirked.  “I believe it was called ‘The Huggable, Shnuggable, Muggle.’ Maybe James can recite it.”�

“I really don’t remember it,”� James lied; remembering it a little too well.  He glanced to Remus helpfully.  “Hadn’t I been feverous and binge-drinking butterbeer when I wrote that?”�

“You’re the one who wanted to be nostalgic, James,”� Remus put things simply.  James sighed as he heard Peter clear his throat and his plan begin to backfire.

  
_“’I like that Muggles think magic and monsters are fiction_

_Just because it’s not on the telley in their kitchen_

_I like how Muggles invented Nuclear power_

_So they can blow us all up at any hour_

_I like how Muggle pictures don’t move_

_Showing that there isn’t an interesting thing they do.’”�_   


Peter broke up into fits of laughter before he could finish, Sirius joined him as well.  Remus shook this head, unable to see what would happen next.  Wincing, James turned to Lily and offered a shy smile.  Her green eyes looked as though they were about to burn a hole through his head.

“It was supposed to be…er…comprehensive of everything we learned that term,”� James attempted to explain.  “And I was looking to get a rise out of the teacher, is all, honest.”�

“So you made fun of Muggles simply because they’re ignorant?”� Lily rationalized harshly.  “You’re such a bigot, James!”�

“Come on now, Lily,”� James pleaded.  “It was really just a joke.”�

“Oh, it was more than that, James.  It was an inspiration!”� Lily said sarcastically.  “Why, a poem has just come to me in the wake of its brilliance.”�

  
_“’James Potter is such a prat_

_Head as pointed as his hat_

_House Chaser for Gryffindor_

_Wouldn’t know his arse from a hole in the floor!’”�_   


Remus, Sirius, and Peter where howling with laughter as James’s face went scarlet.  Lily stormed from the compartment and James was tempted to follow her and attempt to apologize some more but was afraid she’d come up with some more slanderous lyrics for the entire train to listen to.  Instead, James turned his frustrations onto his cackling friends.

“You _had_ to recite it, didn’t you?”� James growled at Peter.  Peter was too busy laughing to reply.  Sirius wiped a tear from his eye.

“I’m glad he did!”� Sirius patted Peter on the back.  “I thought I was sunk with Lily when you brought up that paper but your poem _really_ was worse than mine!”�

“Why did you bring that up, James?”�  Remus raised his eyebrow as James.  “You couldn’t have forgotten Lily wouldn’t have found as much humor in Muggle Studies as we did.”�

“I - I was just trying to show how funny Sirius was,”� James justified, hopefully convincingly enough.

“Yeah well we sure found out how hilarious _she_ can be,”� Sirius laughed.  “And here I was worried Lily’d be a wand in the mud.”�

Embarrassed and livid that Sirius seemed to be even more interested in Lily, James sighed and tried to figure out how he could get Lily to direct a fraction of her anger at him toward his best friend.

* * *

Still frustrated, Lily made her way to one of the front compartments of the train so she would be with the other Prefects.  Randall O’Neil, the Prefect for the Hufflepuffs was speaking with the female one from Ravenclaw whom Lily would have to introduce herself to later.  Severus Snape, the Slytherin Prefect, sat alone, thumbing through the Daily Prophet.  Lily wasn’t sure if he had been so interested in the news that he hadn’t noticed her enter or if he simply chose to ignore her.

“Any particular reason you appear so cross today, Evans?”� Snape answered Lily’s question without looking up. 

“James Potter,”� Lily confessed.  “He’s just being a wanker is all.”�

She typically tried to avoid the subject of James on the rare occasions she spoke with Snape.  She was reluctant to give Snape an open invitation to character assassinate someone she frequently associated with, but she was still fuming and looking for someone to share a rant with.  It took all her restraint not to bring up her new poem, “Ode to a Git.”�

“You say this as though it should suddenly be on the front page of the Daily Prophet,”� Snape quipped, evidently unimpressed with her revelation.  

Feeling her etiquette return to her, Lily decided to change the subject. She peered over Snape’s shoulder to glance at the paper in his hand.

“Speaking of which, what is front page these days?”� Lily inquired.

Severus Snape stiffened a little at Lily’s close proximity.  The only thing he was more uncomfortable with than making casual small talk was someone being so close to his person.  Uncomfortably, he thrust the paper toward Lily.

“Help yourself, I’m finished,”� Snape offered coolly.  Lily accepted the paper with a weak smile.  She was kind of hoping for a conversation, but decided not to press her luck.  Glancing at the front page, Lily felt all her frustration with James pour out of her as she read about the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters.

“Oh god…the horrible things people can do…”� Lily muttered to herself as she sat across from Snape, transfixed on the horrible news.  Snape eyed her curiously.

“It’s wise not to invest so much emotion into things beyond your power,”� Snape advised almost helpfully.  “It will only bring you worries you can never alleviate.”�

“You’d have everyone just be apathetic then?”� Lily glanced at Snape.  “Never offering a care to anything not directly about themselves?”�

Severus Snape was tempted to agree with that since it was, in fact, how he chose to live his life, but in a rare moment of consideration recognized not was capable of functioning as he did.

“I’m merely suggesting that empathy is a double-edged sword, Evans,”� Snape replied.  “The more you use it, the more you risk bringing unnecessary, if not irreparable, harm to yourself.”�

“You sincerely believe that, don’t you?”� Lily asked in a quiet, almost pitying voice.  Snape stared at her as though she had said something to deliberately offend him.  

“We all can’t strut about in rose-colored glasses and let them fog up with tears every time we hear or see something troubling,”� Snape’s evenly replied.

Lily sighed and leaned into her seat, staring at Snape.  “You know, there is a difference between constructive criticism and being out right critical.  We’re going to need to work on your people skills, Severus if you and I our going to be in anyway productive as Prefects.”�  

Snape seemed to flitch at the sound of her using his first name.  After staring hard at her for a moment, Snape offered a stiff nod.  “I suppose a certain civility will be required considering our positions.”�

“That’s all I’m asking,”� Lily smiled politely.

* * *

The Great Hall was alive under a blanket of candles.  The 1st Years had all been sorted into their new Houses.  The Gryffindors table was filled with the excited conversations of those still catching up and those anticipating the new term.  The Marauders all sat together at the Great Feast, Lily was a little down the line talking to Arabella Figg about their respective summers.

James was still pondering Lily.  He didn’t know exactly what was pissing him off about the whole scene but it had grated at him for hours.  He debated if it was because she humiliated him in front of his own friends or if it was his perceived failure of getting Sirius and Lily to lose interest in one another.  James was assuming the attraction were mutual between them.  

How could Lily not be in love with the handsome Sirius Black?

Sirius was a little hard to compete with on the dating field but James was by no means jealous or bitter toward his friend for being blessed with features women found attractive.  James himself knew that he was reasonably good looking since, to most girls in school, nabbing any of the Marauders (in particular James Potter or Sirius Black) as a steady boyfriend made for a good catch.  James took only a passing interest in dating since most of the girls were nice around Hogwarts but not terribly interesting in his opinion.  

He recognized this was more his fault than theirs since James kept a pretty fast paced life going on about him and had become a hard person to catch the attention of, let alone impress.  The most James knew about women were they were a challenge to talk to and impossible to figure out.  He wondered if this was something innate with him or a natural shortcoming that came with being an adolescent male.  It just seemed whenever one in particular caught his eye she’d talk James’s ear off about how funny or handsome or incredible Sirius was.  Still, James never begrudged Sirius.

It wasn’t Sirius’s fault he was so popular.

“You look depressed, Prongs,”� Sirius observed after swallowing a mouthful of food.  “Maybe Lily can come up with a poem to cheer you up, hmm?

It _was_ Sirius’s fault, however, that he was a complete jackass.

Lily rose from her seat next to Arabella and made her way toward the front of the Great Hall.  As she passed by the Marauders, James caught the sleeve of her robes.  Lily glances at him with a sigh as he stood up.  He had to bend his neck slightly to meet her eyes since he was reasonably taller that the five foot something redhead.

“Remembered another amusing antidote you’re dying to share?”� Lily asked warily.  James shook his head.

“I just wanted to apologize about that properly,”� James insisted as he awkwardly ran a hand through his mess of hair.  “I swear Lily, it was only meant in jest…poor taste be it as it may.  I’m a prat, sorry.”�

Lily nodded.

“All right James.”�  Lily relented.  Sirius moved down a section of bench, nearly knocking a 5th year to the ground.

“Why don’t you sit with us for a bit, Lily?”� Sirius offered, but Lily shook her head.

“I’ll have to decline,”� Lily replied, gesturing to her Prefect badge.  “I’m expected to show the 1st Years about.”�

“Ah,”� Sirius nodded.  “Well, give ‘em Hell.  Put the fear of God into them and all that.  Show any weakness and they’ll spend every free hour coming up with new ways to walk all over you.”�

“They’re _eleven_ , Sirius!”� Lily protested.

“So were we once,”� Sirius shrugged as he gestured to himself and the other Marauders.  “Look how we turned out with soft Prefect.”�

“Utter delinquents,”� James added.

“Fashioned for an irredeemable life of wrong-doing,”� finished Peter.

“I’ll be sure to make you a stop on the tour,”� Lily dryly retorted.  “Maybe the children will benefit of from a nice cautionary tale.”�

Lily strode off without another word.  Remus flicked a bit of food onto Sirius’s robes.

“You are officially the sinking stone I’ve attached myself to,”� Remus huffed.

“Bah, just having a bit of sport with the old girl,”� Sirius waved Remus off.

“Shaping up to be a merry chase isn’t it?”� Peter quipped causing Sirius playfully shoved him.  

“I take it from Moony because once a month he’s something to reckon with,”� Sirius smiled at Peter.  “ _Your_ other half isn’t so much formidable as it is adorable.”�  Sirius poked a little fun at Peter’s animage transformation into a rat, Peter and Remus laughed along.

James smiled.  If Sirius kept handling his pursuit of Lily like this James was sure the most contribution he’d have to make to keeping the two apart would be sitting back and watching the carnage unfold from the side-lines.

“First Years this way!”� Lily called out to the Gryffindors.

Lily gathered all the 1st Years around her and began leading them to Gryffindor tower, giving them all the introductory knowledge they would need at the beginning of their term at Hogwarts.  The Marauders hung toward the back of the Gryffindor pack since Lily was announcing nothing new for those who’ve been Gryffindors for years.  They took the opportunity to joke around a bit and throw their last scowls at the Slytherins until the next morning in potions.

"Must say,”� Sirius muttered to his fellow Marauders as he watched Lily speak and gesture off ahead.  “Love watching that girl on the job.”�

“Yes, I’m quite sure it’s Lily’s work ethic you’re admiring,”� Remus nudged Sirius with a smile.  “I reckon you’re just looking for a woman to boss you around a bit.”�

Sirius laughed.

“So when shall we open up our usual batch of misfit?”� Peter asked.

“Tonight?”� Sirius glanced at James.  James thought about this for a moment before shaking his head.

“No.  Um, tomorrow I think,”� James replied.

“Fine by me,”� Sirius shrugged as they heard Lily utter the password into Gryffindor tower and waited for there turn to file in.  “I hope Lily appreciates the last night of decent sleep she’s ever going to get as a Prefect.”�

In the back of James mind, he wondered how long it would take for the other three Marauders to nod off to sleep and what fun he could have with Lily Evans under the cover of his heirloom invisibility cloak.

* * *

* * *


	3. Spark in the Dark

Usual Disclaimer:  All the characters (well almost all of them) are property of J.K. Rowling and I’m merely borrowing her brilliance and her world with no claim to it at all.  I’d like to thank the Harry Potter Lexicon in particular since they’re help in filling in the holes of Ms. Rowling’s world has been invaluable to making this story as authentic as possible.  Please look them up sometime.  

 

As for why I chose to focus on the Lily and James era of things?  Well the characters aren’t so deeply established (for the most part) that I have to worry about stepping over Ms. Rowling’s toes and perverting her thoughtful creations beyond necessity.  I hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

 

_NOTE:  Pensieve was originally written pre- OotP and HPB nor has it been amended to fit the canon of either the 5th or 6th Book.  I have no intention of rewriting this to include JKR’s more recent books and interviews since it is fanfiction.  If you are a canon conservative you may wish to read something else, but for those of you who don’t mind a few discrepancies I hope you enjoy reading Pensieve as much as I have writing it_

  
**Chapter 3**

**~ Spark in the Dark ~**

 

By: _Oy! Angelina_

Beta by: _Taiyourshoes_

 

* * *

In the 6th Year Gryffindor boys’ dormitory, James Potter’s eyes kept drifting over to his trunk where he kept his invisibility cloak hidden.  He and Remus Lupin watched Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew play a _brilliant_ game one of the two had invented which revolved mostly around them flicking sparks at one another from their wands to see who flinched first. 

James guessed Sirius was winning because he still had both his eyebrows.

As it approached 11 o’clock and no one appeared to be going to bed anytime soon, James knew he would have to get out of the room quickly if he was going to do anything to Lily Evans before the morning.  Casually, he walked over to his trunk and pulled out his cloak.

“Thought we were staying in tonight?”� Remus observed.  James nodded.

“We are, I’m just a bit peckish,”� James lied.  “I’m going to sneak into the kitchen and see if I can’t pinch some sweets.  Want anything?”�

The three other Marauders put in their requests as James adjusted his cloak so he was completely invisible.

“How do I look?”� James asked sarcastically.

“It’s an improvement I think,”� Peter said.  That distraction cost him as he was frantically patting his chin a moment later from where some stubble had caught fire.  

“Damn you, Sirius!”� Peter growled.  “Took me all bloody summer to grow that out!”�

“I’ve seen food on the floor with more hair on it than whatever was growing off your face!”� Sirius laughed, as he glanced over to Remus and where he had last seen James.  “Don’t you agree, mates?”�

“Say ‘Thank you, Sirius for saving me from myself,’ Peter,”� Remus smiled.

“I’ve elected to simply nod,”� James’s voice drifted from nowhere.  Peter just waved irritably at all of them (though had to guess on James).  “You all can bugger off!  Sirius and James have no room to talk.  I’ve seen Slytherin girls with more 5 o’clock shadow than you two gits!  And the only time Remus is better off than the rest of us he resembles a walking shag carpet!”�

The four shared a laugh as they watched the door phantom its way open.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a bit,”� James announced in a hushed voice.  “If you’re planning on setting one another aflame wait until I return.”�

“You know a handy extinguishing charm?”� Remus inquired.

“Nah, just want to make sure I get a picture is all,”� James replied as he shut the door behind him.  “And knock it off!  It reeks of burnt hair in here and I’m not about to listen to either of you moan and groan about wearing an eye patch for the rest of time.”�

“You reckon James was suggesting Spark in the Dark is a dangerous game?”� Peter asked as he picked up his wand again.

“Now that doesn’t really sound like our James,”� Remus commented from his bed.

“I think I’ll be getting my safety tips from someone other than the creator of Hammer Darts,”� Sirius interjected as he pointed his wand at Peter.  “Alright, we’ll play ten more rounds or until someone has a bald spot.”�

“My forehead’s cold,”� Peter grumbled as he rubbed the spot where his left eyebrow should have been.

* * *

Lily Evans had just shoed the last off the Gryffindors out of the common room by a quarter after eleven.  Professor McGonagall trusted for her to make sure no student was up and about any later than midnight on school nights and she wasn’t about to disappoint her.  Of course, that would mean figuring out just how James Potter and his friends snuck out.

Lily settled into a chair facing the dying embers of the common room fireplace and stared into the eerie glow.  Lily guessed that there must be a hidden passage somewhere in the common room or boys’ dormitory for them to evade notice.  She pondered this for a while but eventually gave up on trying to discern where it might be located since they were the only four who evidently knew about it.  James and Sirius were lost causes as neither would divulge any little secret of there’s easily.  Lily decided to try getting the information out of Peter Pettigrew, he seemed like the type to supply information whether he realized he was or not.  Or there was always Remus Lupin who struck her as the most decent of the four at times.

A creaking floorboard caught Lily’s attention.  She threw a look over her shoulder, preparing to tell whomever it was to get back in his or her bed but saw no one.  Peering around the darkened room, Lily doubted anyone was hiding but decided to investigate anyway.  After she was certain no one was in the common room with her, Lily figured it was time to bed to be herself.  

Between the boys’ and girls’ dormitories was the Prefect’s bedroom as they were expected to be the authority figure of the house.  Lily wondered if she would welcome the solitude or would miss having the other 6th Year Gryffindor girls to socialize with at night.  She found Arabella Figg knocking on her bedroom door.  Arabella glanced at Lily then the door with something of a confused expression.

“Lily, I thought you were in bed,”� Arabella said in a bewildered voice.  Lily studied her curiously.

“Why did you think that?”� Lily asked.

“Well I though I heard you door open and I wanted to ask you something before tomorrow,”� Arabella explained.  

Lily’s eyes shifted toward her bedroom.  Would James and the others be so bold as to break into her room just to mess with her?  She gestured for Arabella to move to the side as she opened it.  Eye’s darting around the cozy accommodations, Lily saw no one in there and nothing out of the ordinary.  Satisfied, Lily closed the door and turned back to Arabella in the hall.

“Guess being a Prefect has made me paranoid,”� Lily shrugged.

* * *

James breathed a sigh of relief as Lily shut the door.  She had looked so comfortable in front of the fire in the common room that he had thought she wouldn’t have been up for a bit.  And Arabella Figg just had to spend the past few minutes knocking and calling for Lily so there was no way he could have snuck out if he had wanted.  James could only assume she was going to burden Lily with something that pertained to her unhealthy fixation with cats.

James wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing in Lily Evans’ bedroom but this is just where he sort of ended up.  He assumed he intended to prank her in someway but nothing had to him.  Instead, he just found himself standing amongst her belongings and feeling somehow a little closer to Lily Evans by doing so.  The voices of the two girls in the hall drifted through the door.  James strained to listen.

“What did you want to ask me, Arabella?”� Lily inquired.

            “Well, you see, me and Cassidy, Millicent, and Gwen have been gabbing and catching up,”� Arabella prattled, “and we were all talking about whom was with whom and you’re still a Gryffindor 6th year so I came to get your update for the rest of the girls.”�

“Oh!”� Lily mocked amusement at this. “Honored you still consider me.”�

“Well you’re just our Prefect now…it’s not as though you’re the enemy.”�  

“Well, James and his friends don’t seem to be of the same opinion.”�

James leaned closer at the mention of his name.

“So?”�

“Unattached, Arabella.”�

“Hmm.  Really?”�

“Why are you so surprised?”�

“Well, I know when you weren’t ridding with the other Prefects on the Hogwarts Express you were with the Gryffindor foursome.  Then I saw you talking with James and the others at the end of dinner and he was acting so awkward I thought he was asking you out or something.”�

James wondered if he really came off as such a git or if Arabella was just grasping at broom straws.

“He was only apologizing for something he said back on the train.  _Nothing_ is going on with James and myself.”�

“Pity.  Always figured he fancied you.”�

James groaned.  Just how big of a git _was he_ in the public eye?

“I very much doubt that.  He always seems a little to busy talking just to listen to himself to ever notice what anyone else is doing.”�

“Oh come on, James isn’t that bad, Lily.”�

“Oh really?  Always goofing about and snubbing anyone with a bit of authority.  He’s cocky and sarcastic and thinks everyone should be charmed by his smile enough to bend over backwards for him.  I’m telling you, James Potter speaks only to hear his own voice.”�

James lost interest in Lily’s slander as he felt himself glowering under his cloak.

_“Pity we can’t all be as perfect as Lily Evans,”�_ James thought sarcastically.  His eyes fell on Lily’s cloak and the prefect badge attached to it, provoking an idea.

* * *

“I didn’t know you felt that strongly about James,”� Arabella gaped.

“I don’t,”� Lily sighed, “he’s just been a bugger lately and I’m venting a bit.”�

“Oh, well James can do that to a girl,”� Arabella admitted, “but he manages to be devilishly cute when he’s at it, doesn’t he?”�

“He certainly does,”� Lily grinned shyly.

“I thought you might fancy him a little,”� Arabella winked at Lily before she headed back to the girls’ dormitory.

“That’s speculation and hearsay, Arabella.  So don’t go repeating it!”� Lily called after her in a hushed voice.  

“What with you being such a notoriously light sleeper, Lily, I’m sure your hawk like ears would catch me if I even began to utter it,”� Arabella rolled her eyes.  Lily smirked as she opened her bedroom door.

* * *

_“Bloody hell,”�_ was all James’s mind could come up with when Lily entered the room and shut the door behind her.  He took a few steps back into an empty corner, not wanting to risk being underfoot.  James had not idea whatever it was she and Lily had been prattling on about as he was terrible at eavesdropping when he was fuming but he _had_ caught that last bit of dialogue.  James’s brain worked feverishly to try and discern whether Arabella had been sarcastic when she said Lily was a light sleeper or it that was the truth.

Lily hummed to herself a little as she grabbed a brush off her vanity and began running it through her long red hair.  She opened one of her textbooks for the term and began paging through it listlessly.  James refused to take his eyes of her out of fear she’d accidentally bump into him if he didn’t keep a look out.  He tried to silently will her to open her door for any reason long enough for him to make his escape but as she stood over her dresser skimming her book for several minutes, James began to doubt that he’d get such a lucky break.

After what seemed to be ten minutes or so, Lily closed her book and opened one of the drawers of her dresser.  She pulled a set of pajamas set in the Gryffindor colors and threw them to her bed.  Resuming her humming, Lily pulled the sweater of her school uniform over her head and tossed it into a laundry bin.  James had to suppress a gasp as he felt his eyes peel wide open.

Lily Evans was undressing in front of him…

…Sort of.

As she tugged off her necktie and began fumbling with the buttons of her dress shirt, James willed himself to shut his eyes and face into the corner.  The Gryffindor part of James rallied to his side to offer him strength.

_“I will not look!”�_ James committed himself to his chivalry with his fists clenched at his side _.  “It’s improper and completely disrespectful of Lily.”�_

Then the 16 year old boy half of James got his say.

_“Oh Come on!”�_

That’s when James decided a peek couldn’t hurt anyone really.  Glancing quickly over his shoulder, he was Lily was pulling her hair out of the back of her pajamas and pulling her covers down to settle into bed.  

James was torn between breathing a sigh of relief or muttering a curse of disappointment.

Just as Lily was about to climb into her bed, she glanced suspiciously around her room, peering into every dark corner as though she expected to find something.  James held his breath; worried that Lily was just struck by the rightful impression that she was being watched.  After a long moment of shifting her eyes fruitlessly about, Lily seemed to relax as she switched off a light and climbed into bed.  James listened to Lily sigh in the darkness.

Figuring he’d give her half an hour or so to doze off, James stood rigid in the corner with his eyes locked on the covered Lily Evans.

* * *

           

During the first hour of his stay, James realized he was probably spending the night with Lily.  After three failed attempts to leave, he was sick of having the hell scared out of him every time he made a move for the door.  

The first time, as James passed her bed, Lily turned over and he all but sprinted back to his corner, worried she’d accidentally reach out and grab him.  The second time she muttered something loudly in her sleep, which almost sounded like his name.  It took him five minutes to regroup emotionally and realizes that she hadn’t even woken up, let alone noticed him.  The third time she sneezed and he nearly let out a scream.

Edgy and paranoid, James simply sat in the corner stiffly, careful to make sure his breathing didn’t grow too loud or that he didn’t nod off.  His thoughts kept drifting back to his comfortable bed, which was waiting for him on the other side of the tower and how he could be in there sleeping at this very moment.

Instead, he was in Lily Evans’ room perfecting the lost art of voyeurism.

James had nothing better to do than watch Lily until the morning came, so that’s exactly what he did.  That and think.  He went back to plotting against her and Sirius, figuring maybe her presence would provide a certain inspiration.  

For the second hour of his stay, James tried to come up with plausible ways to make Lily seem unappealing to Sirius but wasn’t having any luck since she _was_ a pretty wonderful person.  James figured he’d have a better chance of making her dislike Sirius but he didn’t want that either.

During the third hour, James was pretty much exclusively thinking about Lily.

Around the fourth hour, James realized he was only thinking about Lily and tried to think about only Quidditch.  This worked for about fifteen minutes until James thought about how Lily had hair as red as his robes then went right back to thinking about Lily.

At the fifth hour, James tried to figure out why he was thinking about Lily so much and ran through every possible rationalization.  He figured he was obsessing over her because of his plotting and was looking for some discernable weakness to use to his advantage or it was just an after affect of being preoccupied with her so much these days.  

James had a breakthrough just before dawn when he realized he had spent the last ten minutes trying to come up with a way to kiss Lily Evans while she slept without her knowing.

By the sixth hour, James had to pretty much admit to himself that he had a crush on Lily Evans…or possibly more.  He spent the remainder of the hour grappling with self-loathing.  James felt guilty for being interested in a girl his best friend wanted and hoped he had caught on early enough to do something about it.  

The seventh hour was one of which James devoted to thinking of any way to get over his attraction to Lily.  He considered preoccupying himself with an elaborate prank or wooing _any other girl but Lily_ but wasn’t really achieving the enthusiasm or results he was hoping for.

At the eighth hour, James wished Lily would just wake up so he could sneak out and hang himself in his closet, as it seemed like the only way this whole sorted mess could end pleasantly for all parties involved.

 

It was seven in the morning and Lily started to stir awake.  She gave a lazy stretch and a small moan before rising out of bed.  James was thoroughly impressed by her ability to look so captivating (though slightly disheveled) even when she was first getting up.  Stretching, Lily grabbed a fresh school uniform and left the room probably to use the girls’ dormitory bathroom.

It took James a moment to stretch out the crick in his shoulders and his neck before he slipped out of Lily’s room and back to his own.

* * *

“Just tell us where you were all night, James!”� Sirius badgered his friend on their way to Charms. James hadn’t been able to look his best friend in the eye since he had gotten back to the room.  He felt all around guilty for being in Lily’s room last night and the epiphany he had during the night wasn’t helping.

“You don’t hear me demanding to know where you were, do you?”� James croaked back.  He looked like hell and felt worse; comebacks were not high on his priority list.

“I’ll take that as ‘I’m sorry, Sirius, but I reckon I’m much too tired to produce convincing lies or a decent retort,’”� Sirius laughed.

“I bet he was shaking up with some girl all night,”� Peter smirked.

Sirius’s face lit up with amusement and interest.

“James Potter!”� Sirius crowed as he slapped James on the back, nearly knocking his spectacle to the floor.  “Who’s the lucky girl?”�

“There’s no girl,”� James lied.  He wasn’t about to tell them he had spent the entire night settled in a corner of Lily’s room like some common stalker.  If they didn’t make fun of him relentlessly they’d probably pummel him on principle, which would probably be far more merciful than the former.

“Trying to hide her from us, eh?”� Remus commented, turning to Sirius and Peter.  “Must really fancy this one.”�

Sirius spotted Lily coming up the hall in the company of Arabella and the rest of the Gryffindor girls from their year and quickly beckoned her to come over.  James felt himself blush slightly as he tried to look innocent in front of Lily even though she couldn’t possibly suspect anything of him.  She approached the group, eying them suspiciously.

“Yes?”� She asked curiously.

“You haven’t heard any girls mentioning a late night tryst with our Mr. Potter have you?”� Sirius inquired.  James groaned and hid his face.

Lily shot James an accusing look.

“You were out of your room last night?”� Lily spoke to James.  James sighed, hoping he wasn’t blushing too deeply as he was unable to reply.

“So you don’t know who he was with?”� Peter pressed.  Lily’s eyes burned into James as though she were attempting to remember something she had long since forgotten.

“Can’t say for certain, no,”� Lily replied finally, before shooting James one last look and heading up ahead to Charms.  Remus chuckled and the three other Marauders glanced at him with questioning looks.  Remus cleared his throat.

“Lily’s Prefect badge,”� Remus explained as he restored a serious demeanor, “the letters were enchanted.”�

“What did they say?”� Peter asked, smile already breaking across his face.

“’Little Miss Perfect,’”� Remus smiled.  Sirius and Peter shared a laugh while James said nothing.  Somewhere during his eight hour stay in Lily’s room, he had forgotten he had enchanted her badge.

“Your handiwork, James?”� Sirius inquired.  James sighed before nodded.

“Yeah and now she’s going to know it was me because you three told her I was out of bed,”� James glowered.

“So?”� Peter shrugged.  “Since when do you care if a Prefects on to you?  You never get caught because no one but us knows about your invi-“

Sirius elbowed Peter in the stomach to stop him from finishing his sentence.  “And why does no one know about it?”�  

“Because we don’t talk about it,”� Peter recited rubbing his abdomen. 

“I swear Peter, remind me _never_ to trust you with a secret,”� Sirius sighed as the four went into Charms.

* * *

Although Lily was well rested, she felt completely restless.  She had dreamt about James all night, the details escaping her but she had woke up feeling content.  She blamed Arabella entirely since James had been the last thing they discussed so, naturally, he was the last thing on her mind.  She had even paged through her Advanced Transfigurations text before bed because it was James’s favorite subject and it made her feel a little closer to him while doing it.

For some reason, Lily got the impression that people were pointing and snickering at her for evidently no reason.  Recalling that odd sensation she had before getting into bed, Lily was resolved to work on the paranoia that had evidently manifested with her taking on the position of Prefect.  After all, she would sound crazy if she started talking about how she though people were watching her in her bedroom.

Lily found herself stealing glances at James Potter in spite of herself all morning and she was certain she had caught him looking at her more than once as well.

_“Probably just wants to know why I keep staring at him,”�_ Lily guessed to herself on her way to lunch.  Lily was suddenly struck by the irony of this question. _“Why do I keep staring at him?_

Lily didn’t have an answer and that bothered her.  What troubled her more was when she started to wonder if James had, in fact, met with some girl last night.  She assumed her interest was only because she was James’s Prefect and was responsible for keeping track of him, but her lack of certainty made her uncomfortable with this topic.  

Although she was invited once again by Sirius to sit with him and his friends at lunch, Lily elected not to since she couldn’t trust herself not to keep looking at James so she sat with Arabella and the other 6th Year girls instead.

* * *

“Now why wouldn’t Lily sit with us?”� Sirius asked disappointedly once she was out of earshot.

“She’s probably still mad at me for sneaking out,”� James offered.  “She’s been staring at me all day.”�

“Makes it kind of hard to put the moves on Lily so long as you’re in ten feet of James, eh?”� Peter commented as he forked some fried chicken onto his plate and passed the serving tray to Remus.

“Yeah, pity I’m not trying to drive her off,”� Sirius agreed before nudging James playfully.  “Some help you’re turning out to be!”�

James knew Sirius was being sarcastic but the guilt that had been eating at him all day took the comment straight to heart.  James realized that he couldn’t, in good conscious, betray his friend.  However, he couldn’t, in good conscious, help him either.

“Um, about that, Sirius,”� James began stiffly.  “You see…I don’t know if I’m really the person to help you with all this.  I think Lily’s too clever for any ruse or stunt we could brew up.  That and I’m not much of a go between if she’s adamant about disliking me.”�

Sirius studied James for a moment before breaking into a smile.

“Oh please, James,”� Sirius rolled his eyes.  “When have you ever backed down from a challenge, especially one to help out a friend?  I mean, considering what lengths you were willing to go for Remus here, I’d think getting into Lily Evans good graces would be a simple task.”�

“It’d be getting into her pants that’d be the trick,”� Peter observed.  James chocked on his food and Remus and Sirius shot Peter pointed looks.  Peter smiled apologetically.  “Alright, I apologize.  Horribly poor taste.”�

“As crass as the little rodent may be, Peter does have a point,”� Remus admitted.  “Sirius is the one with the hard part since he’s got to win Lily over in the end.”�

“You make it sound like just handing Lily over to Sirius would be an easy thing to do,”� James muttered before realizing what he said.  He hoped it was vague sounding enough for the others to interpret as something more innocent than he had meant.

“Well, no,”� Remus agreed.  “But I’m sure you’ll come up with some brilliant scheme James.  You always do.”�  

James was about to sigh in relief before he realized he was right back where he had started.  He only hoped Remus was right and something brilliant would come to him.

* * *

* * *

            


	4. Keeping Friends Close

Usual Disclaimer:  All the characters (well almost all of them) are property of J.K. Rowling and I’m merely borrowing her brilliance and her world with no claim to it at all.  I’d like to thank the Harry Potter Lexicon in particular since they’re help in filling in the holes of Ms. Rowling’s world has been invaluable to making this story as authentic as possible.  Please look them up sometime.  

 

As for why I chose to focus on the Lily and James era of things?  Well the characters aren’t so deeply established (for the most part) that I have to worry about stepping over Ms. Rowling’s toes and perverting her thoughtful creations beyond necessity.  I hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

 

_NOTE:  Pensieve was originally written pre- OotP and HPB nor has it been amended to fit the canon of either the 5th or 6th Book.  I have no intention of rewriting this to include JKR’s more recent books and interviews since it is fanfiction.  If you are a canon conservative you may wish to read something else, but for those of you who don’t mind a few discrepancies I hope you enjoy reading Pensieve as much as I have writing it_

  
**Chapter 4**

**~ Keeping Friends Close… ~**

 

By: _Oy! Angelina_

Beta by: _Taiyourshoes_

 

* * *

Potions was the last class of the day and the Gryffindors shared the lesson with Slytherin House.  The Potions Master, Professor Brewsteem, was more than accustom by now to the “accidents”� that occurred during her labs that always resulted in some sort of bizarre casualty or another from an opposing House. 

“I’ll trust you all to sort yourselves into pairings and begin preparing your Gnome Repellent,”� Brewsteem announced, “I’ll be at my station, not making eye contact with any of you unless you have a question or immediate injury to treat.”�

She had tried to correct the behavior for the rival houses back in their 1st year but the small fortune she spent on throat tonic just didn’t seem to be worth it anymore.  The best Brewsteem could do was create lesson plans that didn’t include potions they could use against one another (although her creative students always managed to find a way) and hope they didn’t blow up too many innocent bystanders in the process.  Last term she had them spend the final month creating headache tonics, burn ointments, and anti-depression potions so she’d have a stocked supply.  

Brewsteem could only hope whomever succeeded her as Potions Master would have a better reign on their class.  

Before Lily could ask her to be her partner, Sirius swooped Arabella up and led her off to the opposite end of the dungeon classroom, leaving Lily to pair with James.  Arabella gave a small wink and a wave to Lily as she strode off with Sirius.  

Sirius had worked this out with James before Potions, saying this would be a chance to smooth things over with Lily and hopefully get on her good side.  Though he wasn’t much of a rival for Severus Snape from Slytherin, James held his own well enough in the class and stood a good chance at impressing Lily by proving himself mildly competent.  James only argued until he became worried that Sirius would then ask him to take Arabelle so he could get cozier with Lily.  James figured he wouldn’t be helping or hurting Sirius either way if he just tired to set things right by Lily.

Of course, whenever her green eyes meet with his hazel ones, James would become uncharacteristically awkward around Lily and kept running his wand hand through his mess of hair.

“Um, would you like to handle the cauldron or the ingredients?”� James politely asked.  

“I suppose the cauldron,”� Lily shrugged as she started to brew the base ingredients as instructed in their text.  James began mincing various roots and insects while Lily kept her eye on the cauldron.  She had been wanting to ask James something all day and figured this was as good as time as any to bring it up.

“So, where were you last night?”� Lily tried to sound casual about the question.  “I’m just curious, being a Prefect and all.”�

“Looking for a confession?”� James asked with a smirk.  Sarcasm was his defense mechanism and enabled him bluff confidence even when he most certainly was anything but.

Lily realized how stupid the question was and there was no way James was going to openly admit to breaking school rules to her, but she was oddly compelled to know where he had been.

“Um, well, no,”� Lily replied, “I was only making conversation.  Just wanted to see if I knew the girl is all.”�

“Who said there _was_ a girl?”�

“Well, Sirius mentioned in front of Charms…”�

“Exactly, _Sirius_ mentioned.”�

“So…”� Lily spoke cautiously so as not to allow any emotion to betray her voice.  “So you weren’t with a girl last night?”�

“I’m not going to tell you _anything_ about where I was last night, Prefect Evans,”� James dodged the question with a coy grin.  “But I _will_ say that I’m flattered everyone seems to think I have such a swinging social life.”�  

James hoped that would be enough to get her to stop asking questions but believe he hadn’t been snogging some girl.  Lily nodded.

“Fair enough, Mr. Potter,”� Lily feigned formality, “I suppose I can’t take points off you because I didn’t technically catch you, but don’t expect to get off so light next time around.”�  Lily could have sighed, given the impression James hadn’t had nearly as interesting a night as his friends would like to suggest.

James laughed.  “Fine by me.  Would sort of take all the fun out of sneaking about if there wasn’t a hint of danger.”�  

 

From across the room, Arabella and Sirius kept stealing glances at James and Lily as they worked on their own batch of potion.  After a while, Arabella finally commented on the scene to Sirius.

“Seem to be getting along don’t they?”� 

“Guess she wasn’t as annoyed with him as I assumed,”� Sirius nodded.

“Nah,”� Arabella shook her head as she poured in some stinkbugs.  “She told me so last night and I’ve spied her glancing at him all day.”�

“We thought she was glaring.”�

“Then you must have never seen a Lily Evans’ glare!”� Arabella laughed.  “So looking to set up the two of them as well, eh?”�

“Pardon?”� Sirius turned to Arabella genuinely bewildered.  Arabella returned the confused look.

“I thought you were working with me to give those two a moment alone?”� Arabella replied.

“Um, no,”� Sirius said slightly awkward.  He didn’t want to tip his hand to Arabella considering he couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t run off and tell anything he confided in her to Lily.  “I was merely thinking they were on bad terms.  Bad for business if we have a Prefect breathing down our necks.”�

“Oh,”� Arabella shrugged, “I had just assumed you’d seen what I saw, considering how chummy you are with James.”�

“Which is?”�  Sirius pressed.  Arabella leaned close to Sirius so as not to be overheard.

“I think they fancy one another,”� Arabella reported.

Sirius glanced over to Lily and James who were laughing about something and wondered if there was any truth to Arabella’s speculations.

* * *

Lily made it to the Prefect meeting just as that Year’s Head Boy and Head Girl arrived.  She and the other Prefects met with the Heads of the school bi-weekly to discuss things going on in the school, alert each other of potential disciplinary problems, and help to plan and organize any social functions.  Since this was the first day of school and their first meeting of the term, they split off into pairs to brainstorm ideas for the year that they would share at the next meeting.  Lily partnered with Severus Snape, the Slytherin Prefect as she doubted anyone else would want to or be very productive with him.

As they were discussing the idea of organizing more visits to Hogsmeade that year, Snape’s eyes glanced to Lily’s robes before he returned them to her face.

“It appears you’ve fallen victim to a prank, Evans,”� Snape observed coolly.  Lily furrowed her brow and investigated her robes.  “Look on your badge.”�

Lily saw LITTLE MISS PERFECT scribed over her badge and felt herself blush.  Snape pulled out his wand and extended his hand towards her.

“Allow me,”� Snape offered.  Lily handed the badge to Snape as he expelled the enchantment and returned it to its normal print of PREFECT.  Lily scowled as Snape handed the badge back to her and she readjusted it to her robes.

“So _that’s_ what everyone’s been giggling about. I bet it was James.”�

"Its juvenal quality seems to be about his speed.”�

“Arabella Figg thought she heard someone going into my room last night,”� Lily fumed.  “Lord knows he had time enough to manage it what with being out of his bed all night.”�

“Who would have thought James Potter was capable of breaking and entering?”� Snape sarcastically smiled.

“Well when I get a hold of him, I’m stringing him up in the Whomping Willow and letting it have at him!”� Lily insisted.  “That prat’s the one responsible for me walking around like some daft, paranoid woman!”�

“How so?”� Snape inquired.

“Well, I thought I heard people creeping about in the common room last night after lights out, then I could have sworn someone was in my room once I went to bed,”� Lily explained exasperatedly.  “Didn’t help things much, what with half the school snickering at me.”�

“Oh I think your suspicions are perfectly well founded,”� Snape stated with a self-assured grin.

“What do you mean?”� Lily had a suspicion of where he was going but didn’t want to lightly throw out anything in front of Snape.

“Come now, Evans,”� Snape smirked, “this should be child’s play for a prospect for Head Girl.  Potter unaccounted for all night coupled with an uncanny impression that you were being spied upon?”�

Lily’s eyes went wide at the implication.

“James wouldn’t — “ Lily started but Snape interrupted.

“Wouldn’t what?”� Snape challenged.  “If he was willing to break into your room and vandalize your property, Evans, I don’t think we should be quick to fashion any halos for James Potter.  For all you know, his secret passage or whatever he uses might have a view of your bedroom and the Gryffindor Prefect inside.”�

Lily felt her face growing hot, partially from embarrassment and partially from anger.  Possessed by her emotions, she quickly gathered her things.

“I’m sorry, would you excuse me,”� Lily spoke through clenched teeth.  

“Not at all,”� Snape politely rose as she left the table with a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

* * *

It was the start of dinner in the Great Hall and the Marauders decided to grab an early supper to get their studies out of the way.  James was in high spirits now that is seemed him and Lily were back on good terms and ate heartily as a sign of this.  After he caught Sirius glance at him for the umpteenth time as though he intended to ask him something, James decided to call him on.

“What’s on you’re mind, Padfoot?”� James inquired.

“Oh, well nothing really,”� Sirius lied, but then thought better of it.  “Well, I was talking with Arabella while we were in Potions, naturally, and she mentioned something that’s been caught in my brain.”�

“Yeah?”� James devoted his full attention to his best friend.

“She reckoned you and Lily fancied one another,”� Sirius said quickly, studying James reaction.  James hoped whatever expression he had on his face prior to Sirius’s bombshell was ambivalent because it was taking every effort of will to keep it locked on his face.

“So?”� James asked as casually as he could.

“So is it true?”� Sirius’s eyes bore into James’s.  

James’s mind was reeling.  His first thought was the same as Sirius’s: did Lily _really_ like him?  But then the more pressing question became what to tell Sirius on the subject.  James was more than tempted to fess up to his friend and try to come to some sort of mutual understanding about the situation but wondered if he should burden Sirius with his crush on Lily since, if she didn’t return his affections, it would be nothing more than a moot point and unnecessary awkwardness between the two of them.  

James had only just begun to open his mouth when he saw Sirius’s eyes drift up in surprise as he felt a pitcher of chilled pumpkin juice poured over his head, drenching him rather thoroughly.    Leaping from the bench in a fury, James spun around and grabbed the robes of what he expected to be a Slytherin with a death wish, but found himself grasping Lily Evans instead as she held an empty pitcher.  

James gapped at her in shock but Lily helped to knock that expression off his face with a quick slap to the jaw.  Every eye in the Great Hall was on them at this point with snickers and whispering all about them.  Lily shoved away the hand James still had on her robes and stormed back to the corridor leading into the Great Hall.  The Marauders all stared wide-eyed at James, Peter was the first to speak.

“You reckon she finally looked at her badge?”�

James groaned as he charged after Lily.  He caught her just before she reached the stairs and he had never seen her look more outraged.

“Don’t you think that’s a _bit_ much for a silly prank?”� James reasoned; trying his damnedest not to scream at her for the spectacle she had just put him though.  

“’Prank’? That’s what you call it?”� Lily growled.

“Well I didn’t know changing the spelling on your badge was an offense worthy of Azkaban!”� James declared.

Lily started chuckling out a cruel laugh as she shook her head at James.  “You really are a prat!  You think I give a knut that you enchanted my badge after I find out you were spying on me last night?”� 

This completely blindside James and he could only manage one reaction to surface to his face:

An honest one.

Lily nodded at his guilty expression as his eyes shifted away from her.

“Well I hoped you liked the show.”�

“Lily, I didn’t see anything, I swear!”� James saw no point in even trying to lie.  Lily’s face was completely twisted with rage.  She had little doubt that James _had_ been watching her after Snape pointed it out, but hearing him actually admit to it made it all the more infuriating.

“Whatever,”� Lily said dismissively.  “You’re every bit the wanker you set yourself up to be, but as far as I’m concerned you’ve just run out of rope to hang yourself with.”�

“Lily, _please_ listen to me…”� James pleaded but Lily cut him off.

“Oh?  So you can make it all better by telling me how it’s no big deal because it’s not like you were catching a glimpse of anything new?  Or, wait, maybe you’ll throw a compliment my way by telling me I looked good enough to shag!”� Lily attacked.  She really had no idea how many women James had seen naked or how much of her he even saw, but she felt like being nasty rather than fair.

As students passing by gapped at the heated scene, James felt his self-restraint slipping.  He did feel guilty, but the feelings of humiliation and rejection were overwhelming and now she was just making up things to validate her anger!  Frustrated, James verbally lashed out at Lily.

“Don’t worry, Lily, I know well enough how you view me,”� James spat back.  “I assure you I won’t be ‘smiling my way out of this one’ or go on and on just so I can ‘listen to myself talk’.”�  James threw Lily’s exchange with Arabella back at her. 

Lily felt her jaw drop.  She hadn’t even stopped to wonder if James had overheard anything from the night before.  If he knew all that, then he had to know when the admitted that she thought he was cute.  Growing more embarrassed by the second, Lily lost all semblance of civility.

“Why don’t you just jump up your own arse and join your thoroughly embedded head?”� Lily sneered.  

“I’d suggest the same to you, but I very much doubt you’d get past the stick already lodged there,”� James dawned a nasty smirk.  

Lily’s eyes went redder than her hair as she stomped on James foot and stormed up the stairs, abandoning James to his swearing and howling.

“ _Bloody Hell!_   I have half a mind to report you for assaulting your charges!”� James called up after her.  Lily glared down.

“Ten Points from Gryffindor for being a degenerate with a foul tongue!”� Lily announces as she disappeared.

With his heart throbbing harder than his foot, James emitted a furious chuckle as he returned to the Great Hall muttering to himself coarse things to the effect of:

“Oh, she’s buggering with the _wrong_ Marauder…”�

 

Sirius, Peter, and Remus all looked at him expectantly as he sat back down at the table still chucking and grumbling.  Finding a dry patch on his robe, James cleaned off his glasses as he shook his head.

“What happened?”� Remus demanded.

James’s laugh was verging on manic.

“Same thing that happens with all our Prefects, Moony!”� James grinned.  “Oh, but it’s going to be _brilliant fun_ with Evans!”�

Remus eyed James warily, but was too put off by his friend behavior to press the subject.  Peter shrugged at Sirius.

“I guess that answers your question, eh?”�  Peter observed.

* * *

* * *

            Oh, who said the course of true love was ever supposed to run smoothly? 


	5. Cackle Above, Crackle Below

Usual Disclaimer: All the characters (well almost all of them) are property of J.K. Rowling and I’m merely borrowing her brilliance and her world with no claim to it at all. I’d like to thank the Harry Potter Lexicon in particular since they’re help in filling in the holes of Ms. Rowling’s world has been invaluable to making this story as authentic as possible. Please look them up sometime. 

 

As for why I chose to focus on the Lily and James era of things? Well the characters aren’t so deeply established (for the most part) that I have to worry about stepping over Ms. Rowling’s toes and perverting her thoughtful creations beyond necessity. I hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

 

_NOTE: Pensieve was originally written pre- OotP and HPB nor has it been amended to fit the canon of either the 5th or 6th Book. I have no intention of rewriting this to include JKR’s more recent books and interviews since it is fanfiction. If you are a canon conservative you may wish to read something else, but for those of you who don’t mind a few discrepancies I hope you enjoy reading Pensieve as much as I have writing it_

  
**Chapter 5**

**~ Cackle Above, Crackle Below ~**

By: _Oy! Angelina_

Beta by: _Taiyourshoes_

* * *

Over the next couple of weeks, Hogwarts had officially become a war zone whenever James Potter and Lily Evans were in proximity of one another.

For the first week, James took every opportunity he could find to undermine Lily's authority and Lily never missed a chance to nail his arse to the wall for it. James had lost fewer points for Gryffindor in an entire _term_ at Hogwarts than he had that first week with Lily. Snape, the Slytherin Prefect, wasn't much help either as he had grown completely comfortable with the ability to abuse his power just to spite James and Gryffindor at large.  James couldn't have a simple exchange of insults with Snape anymore without Snape getting in the last word by knocking a few points off Gryffindors' total. To keep the other Gryffindors from lynching him in the night, James worked extra hard in lessons to be even more impressive than he usually was, just to make up the difference.

After the second week, Lily realized it wasn't fair to punish the entire Gryffindor house because James was a prat and decided to start meeting him prank for prank. This turned out to be a poor strategy on her part since James was much better at getting under her skin than the other way around. While she had jinxed his hat to flash the poem she had composed on the Hogwarts Express in his honor (which seemed to more than piss James off), he got her back with interest by slipping her a potion that made her voice squeak like it were on helium every time she raised her voice.  James spent the entire day instigating fights with her just so he could laugh when she started to yell in a voice squeakier than a house elf’s.  He promised to give her the antidote, provided she made up a new poem in honor of how clever and handsome he was for the entire school to hear about.

Lily proved to all the Gryffindors just how angry and stubborn she was towards James when she sought out the Slytherins and asked Severus Snape for assistance, which he was uncharacteristically kind enough to provide.  Since then, they were frequent partners during Potions class and could be seen talking to one another outside of Prefect meetings.

One lazy Saturday, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were found lounging under a large tree out by the lake neighboring Hogwarts.  With September coming to a close, they were enjoying the nice weather while it lasted and reflecting on the mania of James, who was not present but was assuredly plotting to do something to Lily, who was off under her own tree chatting with Severus Snape.

"My, they're certainly chummy as of late," Sirius observed disapprovingly as he glanced over at Lily and Snape.

"I think you're reading into it, a bit," Peter remarked helpfully. "They _are_ both Prefects and what with James doing his best to be a bother she's probably just looking for someone to share some frustrations with."

"Bet Snape’s looking to share something more than frustrations," Sirius grumbled. "Do you reckon they'll go on to become a couple now that they have hating James in common?"

Remus rolled his eyes.  "Yes, Sirius, I can see it now: lying in bed, sipping tea over a Sunday Prophet while playfully arguing about which of them hates James more.”�

"It suddenly sounds less plausible when you say it aloud like that," Sirius laughed, feeling a bit better as he tried to imagine the scenario.

"Speaking of James, you reckon we'll be shipping him off to St. Mungo's for a bit of rest?" Peter smirked at his two sane friends. Remus grinned but shook his head.

"Nah, he seems to be getting back to himself a bit," Remus replied. "He's still quarrelling with Lily, but it seems to be more for sport than whatever grudge those two have going on between them."

"Which we _still_ need to get out of one of them!" Sirius growled. Neither James nor Lily had been very explicit in why they were fighting, exactly, but the silence and speculation around the topic had more than the Marauders interested.

"I'll wager Moony is right," Peter agreed. "James is just doing all the stuff he used to do to her back in 1st Year lately, and I think Lily's putting on a show of being madder than she actually is, since it's expected of her to be indignant."

Both Peter and Remus had a point. Virtually all last week (the third week of the Potter/Evans debacle), James and Lily had pretty much given up on elaborately pranking one another or subtracting large amounts of points from Gryffindor, and their rivalry degraded into juvenile means to get a rise out of one another. When James’s major plan of attack consisted of yanking Lily's hair when she wasn't expecting it and taking off down the hall, the students of Hogwarts pretty much assumed that the feud was winding down.

"Well, I hope you two are on to something," Sirius replied. "When we're not getting the 'guilt by association' end of things, Lily's off and about with that grubby Slytherin."

"We just need to come up with a means to make them reconcile their differences," Remus assured. He glanced over Sirius's shoulder as Arabella Figg approached the three Marauders and joined them. The boys silently hoped she wasn't going to start yet another rousing conversation about cats.

"Going on about Lily and James?" Arabella asked curiously. "How are things on James's end?"

"Well, he's given up that mad cackle he acquired whenever he came up with some new stunt to pull," Peter reported. Arabella giggled.

"Yeah, Lily had one of those too," she informed. "I think she's calming down a bit since she's stopped referring to him exclusively as 'that randy prat'."

"Still looking to fix those two up?" Sirius asked with an interested tone.

"What's this about?" Remus shot Padfoot a curious look, showing that this was evidently news to him.

"Oh, I mentioned to Sirius a couple weeks ago that I thought Lily and James fancied one another," Arabella explained to Remus and Peter before turning to Sirius. "No, I've pretty much given up on those two, but I wouldn’t mind getting them back on good terms." Sirius seemed to smile a bit at this while Remus donned a thoughtful expression.

"I think most of Hogwarts could agree with you there," Peter sighed. "Well, any brilliant ideas, gentlemen?"

"The Hogsmeade trip is next weekend," Sirius recalled. "Maybe if we get them on neutral ground, they'll be a bit more reasonable."

"Maybe what we need to do is get their minds off one another," Arabella suggested with a coy smile.

"Such as?" Remus was almost afraid to ask.

"Well," Arabella blushed slightly. "I find James a bit dashing and I'm sure one of you three can find something to appreciate in Lily."

Peter and Remus's eyes shifted over to Sirius, who was officially on the edge of his seat.

"You suggesting we attempt to court them, Arabella?" Sirius confirmed eagerly.

"Only if you're interested," Arabella replied.

"Very!" Sirius smiled broadly. This was the best break he'd had concerning Lily since they all had arrived at Hogwarts.

"Well, I suppose I could put in a good word with Lily if you'd return the favor with James," Arabella winked. Sirius was nodding so fast it looked as though his head would threaten to fall off. Arabella smiled, still blushing a bit. "Alright then, I guess we'll see what we can manage for next weekend. At the least, let's make sure we all meet up at the Three Broomsticks for a round of butterbeers at about two or so."

"Sounds like a date," Sirius agreed as he smiled at his friends. Peter returned a grin but Remus seemed to be forcing his smile a bit. Sirius would have asked him about it but the sound of exploding firecrackers jerked all their heads to where Lily and Snape had been sitting.

* * *

Lily and Snape were on their feet as colorful sparks exploded just a few feet from where they had been seated. Lily's head darted back and forth as she tried to discern from where

James (because it _had to be James_ ) threw the Filibuster Fireworks. A mad cackle from the branches of the tree drew her and Snape's narrowed eyes. James peered down at them, seated on a thick branch with a satisfied grin that broke only to laugh.

"JAMES POTTER COME DOWN HERE SO I CAN RING YOUR NECK PROPERLY!" Lily roared while pointing into the tree. This just prompted James to laugh harder.

"Bollocks to that!" James declared. "You're welcome to come up here, though, if you're that inclined."

"I'll be confiscating every last one of those firecrackers from you!" Lily promised. 

James shrugged.  "Guess I better use them all up then."

Half a dozen more fireworks fell to the ground and went off around Snape and Lily's feet. Greatly amused with himself, James's laughter practically drowned out the hissing and screeching of the exploding pranks. Fed up with James, Snape removed his wand, glowering.

"Step back, Evans," Snape cautioned as he put a hand on Lily's shoulder, pulling her back with him.

" _ABRUMPERE!_ " Snape cast at the branch James was sitting on. James abruptly stopped laughing as he heard a loud snap as the limb of the tree broke at the base, sending him crashing nearly twenty feet to the ground, sprawled across the branch. Lily gaped at him with her hands over her mouth.

"James!" she gasped. "Are you hurt?"

James peeled himself partially off the branch so he was in a seated position and rubbed his shoulder.

"I've fallen from twice that height in Quidditch and was able to walk off the pitch," James groaned as Lily nodded, processing the information. He shot a hateful look in Snape's direction that Snape was more than happy to return. "I could have landed on my head, you git!"

"Come now, Potter, you say that as though it would have harmed something important," Snape hissed.

"I'm glad you're fine," Lily stated with a relieved sigh. "Now I can mangle you in clear conscience!" With that, Lily lunged at James.

"Oh, bugger me!" James cried as he scrambled off the branch and took off into the field with Lily right on his heels. James would have started laughing if he didn't need every last gasp of breath to keep out of Lily's reach. Snape might have pursued them if he didn't have every confidence Lily was more than capable of handling herself against Potter.

* * *

From where the Marauders and Arabella Figg were watching, they had a good view of Lily flinging herself at James, tackling him to the ground by the waist. It took her little time after that to crawl on top of him and start pummeling, and James could be heard laughing while struggling to get her off the top of him

The four couldn't help but erupt into laughter themselves at the sight of their Prefect bludgeoning Prongs.

"He's got that mad cackle again," Peter observed.

"Don't you think we should break them up?" Remus asked between chuckles.

"We could…" Sirius nodded. "Or I could put a galleon on her bloodying his nose."

"You're betting _against_ your own best friend?" Remus laughed harder as he toppled into the grass.

"I've got two thinking Prongs pins her in ten," Peter chimed in on James's behalf.

"Put me down for a galleon on Lily," Arabella announced.

All four Gryffindors reached into their robes and fished out their coin purses.

* * *

As Lily struggled on top of James, growling, the more he giggled at her and the more she wanted to shut him up. Right now she had the advantage since all of her weight (though was not all that much of it) was on him, keeping him to the ground. But, as she half expected, James’s six foot frame, which was more than toned from his years as a Quidditch Chaser, managed to flip her to the ground. Pinned beneath James, Lily fought against James's grip as he panted and laughed. Finally, Lily relented, realizing she wasn't getting anywhere.

"Let me up," Lily ordered.

James pretended to think about this. Lily snorted through her nose, growing tired of his childish behavior.  "That wasn't a request, Potter!  That was a command from your _prefect_."

"You're damn bossy considering you're the one on your back!" James smirked. She was positively adorable when she stared at him with that pout over her face. He released his hold on Lily but didn't remove himself from atop her.

"James…" Lily had an edge of warning to her voice. She didn't know what he was playing at but she was starting to become aware of the looks from all the eyes watching them, and more importantly, the one in James's

"Fine, I'll let you up," James promised in a hushed voice. "If you ask me nicely..."

" _Please_. There, satisfied?" Lily agreed quickly. James smiled.

"…and let me kiss you," James finished. 

James watched Lily's face change to genuinely stunned. He knew it was, at best, a long shot, and wasn't sure what had possessed him to say it, but he held his breath anyway, wondering if she would actually let him.

For her part, Lily couldn't believe James had actually said that to her. Considering the way they had been going at one another for nearly a month, Lily had been almost positive that anything that may have happened between her and James Potter was now lost to a petty grudge. Lily was almost inclined to believe he was sincere, but then she realized it would be just like James to try to extort some sort of confession from her that he would just use to tease her with more.

James watched Lily's expression contort in anger as she brought her fist up to sock James in the jaw. With a groan he rolled off Lily as she hurried to her feet and glowered down at him.

"I hope _that_ will contribute something valuable to your learning curve!" Lily hissed. James stared up at her smiling from the ground while holding his cheek.

"Certainly did," James agreed. "I won't bother asking next time I feel like a snog."

Lily made a disgusted noise, leaving James laughing like the loon he was in the field by himself.

She couldn't figure out what the hell James was up to, but her heart was pounding furiously and she didn't know if it had everything to do with her brawling with James. Finally, Lily decided that only a true prat would joke about kissing a girl like that and marched back to where Snape was waiting for her.

"If you're going to lecture me on how undignified it was for a Prefect to behave as I just did, I am more than aware," Lily assured as she took a seat under the tree, panting.

"Actually, I was going to compliment you on that left jab to Potter's jaw," Snape contradicted with a thin smile. Lily had to laugh.

"I was particularly proud of that one myself," Lily agreed.

"By the way, I'm subtracting ten points from Gryffindor for Potter attacking a Prefect," Snape informed Lily.

"That's alright, I was planning on taking the same off of Slytherin for destroying school property," Lily shrugged with a grin. Snape glared at her as though he intended to crossly respond, but decided to grin instead.

"Fair enough, then," Snape relented.

"Now the question is what should happen to me for pummeling James Potter?" Lily inquired.

"Nothing short of an Award for Special Services displayed in the trophy room," Snape decided. Lily laughed some more.

* * *

Finally getting off his back, James went to go meet up with his friends. He swaggered over to the group, blood smeared at the corner of his mouth and glasses completely askew. He was attempting to brush off stray grass, but was laughing too hard to do a very thorough job of it. James hadn't looked or felt this much like his old self in weeks.

Peter groaned as he gave back the coins Arabella and Sirius had just passed him since their wager was something of a draw.

"For a man who just got his arse kicked by a girl, you look pretty damn proud of yourself," Remus observed as he handed James a handkerchief to wipe the blood and sweat from his face. James accepted it as he threw himself down on the ground.

"Oh, come on," James grinned. "The look on her face when she caught me in that tree was _more_ than worth it!"

"I thought it was funny," Arabella quickly complimented. James nodded at her.

"Which is why you have taste," James assured, prompting Arabella to blush.

"Just how long were you in that tree?" Peter asked with a hint of awe in his voice. He always had a hero worship of James and was impressed even a little more by his friend's relentlessness.

"I don't know, I reckon about an hour," James shrugged.

"How could you have _possibly_ known they would sit under it?" Remus remarked in disbelief. Arabella smiled shyly.

"James, er, asked me to suggest it to them," Arabella admitted. James tried to look innocent and the Marauders laughed. Arabella shoved James playfully. "Of course I _never_ would have done so if I knew you were going to rain explosives on Lily's head!"

After the laughter had died down, Sirius turned to Arabella knowingly.

"So we're on for Hogsmeade then?" Sirius winked at Arabella. James looked quizzically at them.

"You guys meeting up or something?" James asked hopefully. He wondered if Sirius had unconsciously elected to make his life simpler by given up on Lily for Arabella.

"Something like that," Peter snorted.

"We're going to meet up with Arabella and Lily at the Three Broomsticks," Sirius explained. "Provided you can promise not to do anything to earn her ire before hand."

James smiled at this.

"I think I can manage," James promised. If Sirius was off his crusade for Lily then maybe he'd have a shot at setting things right with Lily without having to worry about mucking things up. James couldn't keep from grinning at the thought that, in a week’s time, they'd all be at Hogsmeade and would possibly be putting these past few sordid weeks behind them.

James smiled at Remus but was a little bit put off to see that he didn't appear as happy as the rest of them.

* * * * * *


	6. The Game of You

Usual Disclaimer: All the characters (well almost all of them) are property of J.K. Rowling and I’m merely borrowing her brilliance and her world with no claim to it at all. I’d like to thank the Harry Potter Lexicon in particular since they’re help in filling in the holes of Ms. Rowling’s world has been invaluable to making this story as authentic as possible. Please look them up sometime. 

 

As for why I chose to focus on the Lily and James era of things? Well the characters aren’t so deeply established (for the most part) that I have to worry about stepping over Ms. Rowling’s toes and perverting her thoughtful creations beyond necessity. I hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

 

_NOTE: Pensieve was originally written pre- OotP and HPB nor has it been amended to fit the canon of either the 5th or 6th Book. I have no intention of rewriting this to include JKR’s more recent books and interviews since it is fanfiction. If you are a canon conservative you may wish to read something else, but for those of you who don’t mind a few discrepancies I hope you enjoy reading Pensieve as much as I have writing it_

 

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Chapter 6

~ The Game of You ~

By: _Oy! Angelina_

Beta by: _Taiyourshoes_

* * *

The cool afternoon breeze ruffled Lily Evans’ long red locks as she leaned over a balcony, watching other Hogwarts students commiserate in the school courtyard. It was Tuesday, three days since James Potter had decided to drop a crate's worth of Filibuster Fireworks on her and Severus Snape.  Since then James had not so much as placed one toe out of line. In truth, he seemed to be going out of his way to be more than civil to her whenever their paths crossed while making an effort not to be too much underfoot.

Naturally, she suspected he was up to something.

Lily really didn't know what to think about James anymore. When they were younger, he was kind of obnoxious to her, always clowning about or attempting to get the faintest rise from her, just for a giggle. She still managed to like him, though, because Lily knew in her heart that he was only doing it for sport and really meant nothing offensive by it. After James had become firmly established with Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew she got the impression she had more or less dropped from his radar in the wake of his little boys’ club, or whatever their group was. It was around their 5th year that James had started speaking with her on a more frequent basis and now, in their 6th year, it seemed as though there was little they could do to escape one another's attentions.

In addition to her nostalgic thoughts, Lily was also preoccupied with what had happened in the field.

_…and let me kiss you._

What the hell did that mean?

Lily found her mind playing the scene over and over, as though she would find something that had been overlooked in the heat of the moment. Had James really meant it? Had he wanted to kiss her? Or was it all just some ruse, some new tactic James had devised to get her flustered?

_If it is just some ploy, it's cruel,_ Lily thought.

It had taken her about a week to get over James peeping on her. Lily was by no means happy about this, but the anger had drained from her after a while. Now the whole ugly business seemed like a book she had read or an incident she had once heard about, something she felt sort of removed from.

Besides, Lily figured James was probably either too decent or too much of a coward to get a good look at her anyway.

Lily hoped James wasn't just toying with her. Never mind that she did find something attractive in the boy, but there was just nothing proper about manipulating a person's emotions. So Lily was faced with the dilemma of whether James was leading her on for a great big laugh later or...

…Well, things would probably be simpler between them if James was just leading her on for a great big laugh.

"What's with the long face, Lily?" Arabella Figg inquired as she joined Lily against the balcony.

"Just lost in my thoughts," Lily shrugged as she turned to Arabella.

"About?"

"The usual."

"Ah," Arabella replied. "So you'll be going to Hogsmeade this weekend, right?"

"Yes, all the Prefects are," Lily nodded. "Want to do something while we're there?"

"Sure! At the least we'll have to grab some butterbeers," Arabella quickly agreed. She paused a moment before continuing. "You remember that conversation we had the first night back? About James Potter?"

"About whether or not I was interested in him," Lily remembered, but wanted to know where Arabella was heading with all this.

"Yes…" Arabella had grown awkward. "I have to ask, and I'd like it if you'd tell me. Are you interested in James Potter?"

"I-I don't know how I feel about James these days," Lily answered honestly. "Why are you asking, Arabella? Looking to set me up with him?"

"Actually, the opposite," Arabella confessed. "I had, um, someone else in mind, but if you tell me you’re interested in James, that will be the end of it."

Lily didn't like being put on the spot like this. She didn't want to commit herself in any way to James Potter if he was setting up to play her for a fool, but she found it hard to just so easily hand him over. Deciding that there was only one real way to discern exactly what James wanted of her, Lily said the only thing she could think of.

"I'm only interested in seeing what type of girl James could fall for," Lily placed out simply enough. "If you can think of someone you think he'd fancy, there's only one way to be sure."

Arabella seemed to breathe a little easier at this.

"Hogsmeade will be fun. AnythinggoingonbetweenyouandSeverusSnape?" Arabella got out hurriedly.Lily had to laugh.

"What do you do? Just sit around and concoct love scenarios involving me?" Lily demanded. "Snape and I are friends. No, that's not right; we're _friendly_ with one another."

"I was just wondering how free a spirit you are these days," Arabella shrugged with a shy grin.

"Single," Lily replied firmly. "Do I get to ask you sordid questions about your fraternizing with Sirius Black?"

"Oh, that's an easy one," Arabella smirked. "We're just getting on well these days, that's all." Lily wondered if Arabella was hinting at harboring feelings for Sirius and raised an eyebrow.

"So what do you think of Sirius?" Lily asked with an interested tone. Arabella's expression lit up, as though she had been waiting the entire conversation for Lily to ask her this.

"I think he's brilliant and gorgeous, certainly a riot," Arabella proceeded to list. "That and he's such a good and loyal friend. They don't come much nicer than Sirius."

"Well one of us had better snatch him up then," Lily suggested coyly, hoping to provoke Arabella along. "I don't believe he's attached at the moment."

"Well, he's not really, but I think he might have his eye on someone," Arabella said with a knowing expression. Lily wondered if Sirius and Arabella were on the verge of some sort of relationship. Smiling, Lily decided to be as supportive as she could be to her fellow Gryffindor.

"Everything you said about Sirius sounds right on the galleon to me," Lily agreed. "I think he's about as decent as they come and any girl who caught his fancy would certainly be a lucky one."

Arabella let a giggle slip out from her lips as she practically quivered with joy.

"Oh, Lily! This weekend is going to be _so much fun!_ " Arabella promised happily as she ran off. Lily was glad things seemed to be going so well with her friend and hoped they would get only better for her. Arabella seemed to be pretty confident about what she saw in Sirius and Lily envied that kind of certainty.

Now if only she could figure out James.

* * * 

Sirius was finding himself with a serious lack of amusement that same Tuesday after classes. James was off practicing for Quidditch and Peter had made a run to Hogsmeade, unable to wait a few more days to get his hands on a large brick of Honeydukes famous chocolate. Sirius had tried talking Remus into playing Spark in the Dark with him, but Remus was sadly too wise and fond of all his hair to agree. They sat in the bedroom they shared with the other Marauders, playing a civil game of Wizards Chess to pass the time until their friends got back. After talking casually about Quidditch (in between criticizing one another's moves) Remus decided to bring up a question, which had been nagging at his mind.

"Sirius, just how serious _are_ you about Lily Evans?" Remus asked directly.

"I'm not following you," Sirius frowned, then realized the potential problem looming. "What's this, you interested in her too?"

"No, I'm not," Remus answered quickly, but sincerely. Sirius seemed to relax a little after this. "I'm just curious about what she means to you, is all."

"Hard to say," Sirius shrugged. "I mean, I know her only casually from outside of our studies. Seemed like a more than decent girl to be interested in, though."

"That's true," Remus agreed. "I just wanted to know why her out of the dozens of others about."

"I don't really suppose she is all that different on the surface. I've known plenty of girls to be smart or pretty or charming," Sirius admitted. "Lily's something to ponder because she happens to be all those things at once. That and watching her go back and forth with James showed off a side I didn't give her credit of having. I thought Lily was something of a straight laced broom in the mud before she took to insulting James and pummeling him into the grass!"

Sirius laughed as he relived the incident in his head. Remus frowned and looked at his board, so as to pass himself off as trying to figure out his next move in Chess. In reality, Remus was wondering what his next move should be in this whole question of Lily.

"I've been meaning to ask, what do _you_ think has possessed James lately?" Sirius inquired as his laughter died down. "I mean, he's been obsessed with nothing but showing up Lily for damn near a month but just stops out of the blue. What do you reckon has gotten into him?"

Remus had a suspicion but he didn't think it was his place to share it with Sirius. Instead, he hoped to guide his friend to his own conclusion by playing along.

"Good question," Remus replied. "I've never seen James act like that toward anyone before. Even his dislike for Snape was never as consuming as what he had going on with Lily."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius paused to think deeply about this. Remus watched him hopefully, silently encouraging him to begin piecing the clues together for himself. Sirius glanced over toward his present friend. "Kind of makes you wonder what it must have been they were fighting about, anyway."

"Odd James wouldn't tell us," Remus observed and Sirius nodded to this.

"Certainly is, Mr. Moony," Sirius agreed. "I'm thinking it’s either something really embarrassing or really horrible if he's willing to hide it and Lily won't mention it."

"I think you might be on to something with that." Remus had been wondering about what had happened to James that night he never returned to the room, which he figured was around the same time he had done whatever it was to provoke Lily's fury. Remus was fairly sure it wasn't something uncharacteristically terrible of James, as Lily seemed willing to still interact with him, so that left a humiliating instance of some sort.

_"Or maybe,"_ Remus thought, _"it's neither. Maybe Prongs is pleading silence because he has no choice."_

Remus had come to suspect that James’s feelings for Lily had drifted from the platonic. Around last year, when James had taken to making an effort to see Lily more about Hogwarts, he would always seem nervous and start running his hand through his hair (as he did whenever on the spot). Remus couldn't be certain but he thought Lily might like James too, but Lily was always pretty nice to everyone so it was a little hard to gage. Their visit to Diagon Alley and James's consuming preoccupation with Lily had made him wonder what was at the root of the two's frustrations toward one another, but the incident last Saturday had started pulling Remus's suspicions together.

When James and Lily were having it out with one another, it struck him as less ferocious as it was flirtatious.

Remus was betting that James was aware of what was going on between himself and Lily, but he knew James well enough to wonder if he was as much in the dark about what was going on as Sirius seemed to be. Figuring he'd need to talk to James and get him to discuss things with Sirius soon, Remus resigned himself to concentrating on his game rather than the complicated affairs of those closest to him.

It was then James stepped in to the dormitory, clad in his Quidditch uniform with his broom in hand and covered in grass and sweat. He made his way to the showers with a swift wave to his friends.

"Hold on a minute, Remus?" Sirius asked as he abandoned his move to chase after James. Remus leaned back, craning his neck to catch a view.

"What's up, Padfoot?" James asked with a glance to his friend as he started to disrobe.

"Just wanted to see if you wanted to get together and work on Transfiguration homework later on," Sirius shrugged. "Don't want anything coming between us and Hogsmeade, hmm?"

"Oh, yeah, that'll be great!" James grinned appreciatively. "What with Quidditch I could use the focus on my lessons."

"I figured as much," Sirius shrugged. "So, about Hogsmeade. You don't mind that I promised we'd hang about with Arabella, do you?"

"Lily not going?" James frowned. Remus's ears perked up to this.

"No, she is," Sirius assured happily to himself. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't have your heart set on a boys’ day out and whatnot."

"Nope," James shook his head. "The girls are more than welcome."

"Yeah, it's kind of nice bashing around with them," Sirius agreed. "Arabella especially." James straightened up at this. Maybe Sirius was really interested in Arabella. Quickly, James’s mind worked to produce something to help seal the deal.

"Certainly," James smiled. "A pretty girl and live wand, that one! Hard to not get all giddy along with her when she'd in a room, hm?"

"Like her then?" Sirius raised his eyebrow. James shrugged at this.

"If you fancy her, then why shouldn't I trust your judgment?" James decided as he headed to the showers.

Remus was in complete awe of how two such incredibly stupid people managed to pull of becoming animagi before the age of sixteen.

Returning to the room, Sirius winked at Remus who rolled his eyes in return.

"I think I'm going to take a long nap," Remus announced as he flopped on his bed and buried his head under his pillow.

"What about our game?" Sirius frowned.

"Oh, I think enough pawns are being moved about!" Remus replied through his pillow.

* * *

The first weekend of October brought beautiful weather with it. A chill ran through the air, leaving the students who visited Hogsmeade occasionally adjusting their cloaks and talking about their intentions for warm mugs of Butterbeer. Lily had lost track of the Marauders soon after arriving, but they were undoubtedly working their way over to Zonko's Joke Shop. Arabella had intended to spend most of the day with Lily but when she got the impression she'd be sharing her time with Severus Snape, decided to go off with some of the other Gryffindor girls to pick out dress robes for the Yule Ball the Prefects were intending to hold over winter holiday.

Lily strolled around Hogsmeade while Snape more accurately patrolled. He kept up his conversations with Lily all the while darting his black eyes about in search of unruly Hogwarts students. Snape interrupted the discussion occasionally to yell at someone or deduct points. Lily, confident Snape was enforcing school conduct enough for the both of them, tried to enjoy the day and distract Snape whenever she could from being, well, Snape. When Snape subtracted points from a Hufflepuff girl for using poor grammar, Lily decided to comment on the scene.

"Perhaps you should ask Madam Pomfrey about that when we get back to school," Lily vaguely suggested.

"About what?" Snape stopped glaring at a couple Ravenclaw boys who were glaring at him to look at Lily.

"About whether you will, in fact, _die_ if you have a bit of fun," Lily grinned. 

Snape scowled, evidently not amused by Lily's criticism.

"We’re responsible for these students while they're here, Evans," Snape reminded.  "Their behavior is a reflection of the entire school."

"And are you excluded from this?" Lily inquired. Snape snorted out some air, evidently refraining himself from tearing into Lily. Placing a hand on his shoulder, which stiffened under her touch, Lily's green eyes shined at Snape. "All I mean by it, Severus, is fear and respect are not the same thing. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life having people listen to you only because you can bully them around?"

"Fine," Snape quickly agreed. "I'll select my battles a little more carefully; however, don't expect me to be lenient with Potter and Black once they start up with their usual nonsense." Snape threw a deliberate look Lily's way.

"As opposed to?" Lily baited.

"I simply feel you allow your good-nature to be an invitation for deviant behavior," Snape replied. "You may catch more flies with honey but then they're certainly stuck to you afterwards, aren't they?

"So you're suggesting I'm a soft touch," Lily said with a stern look not unlike one of Professor McGonagall's.

"I would do no such thing," Snape insisted. "I'm flat out telling you that you are one."

"So scowling about and barking at anything that gives you a second glance would be an improvement?" Lily shot back. Snape seemed amused by this.

"Perhaps it would make you a little thicker skinned when it came to constructive criticism," Snape shrugged. Lily sighed, realizing Snape had a point in his own berating way.

"Tell you what, Severus," Lily offered. "If I attempt to be a little more aggressive in my duties as a Prefect, would you work on being a bit more passive?"

Lily extended a hand towards Snape. He glanced down with a harsh look of inspection as though he expected some sort of weapon to be present. Turning his eyes on Lily's, Snape's cool hand accepted her in a firm shake. A small smirk formed on his lips.

"Agreed, but I warn you Evans, I have very little in the way of a nurturing nature."

Lily smiled at this.  "Well I suspect you make acting like an utter git look much easier than it actually is."

Snape looked at her sideways a little at this remark and decided that Lily Evans was the only person he'd allow to get off free and clear after calling him a git. Lily nodded to the store behind them with a friendly smile.

"Want to stop in at Honeydukes for a bit?" she suggested.

"I'm not particularly fond of sweets," Snape informed stiffly.

"Oh, come on now, who isn’t?"  Lily stopped when she noticed Snape was no longer looking at her.

As Snape released her hand, Lily turned her head and saw some other Slytherins: Lestrange and his steady girlfriend, Bellatrix Black, along with Avery, Macnair, and Nott, were leering at them. Lily blushed a little bit since they may have interpreted Snape holding her hand differently from what she had intended.

"I believe I shall talk with some of my fellow Slytherin for a while," Snape announced with something of a hiss. Lily could only assume he was more than annoyed with the idea of being spied upon, even if they were all a part of Slytherin. "Why don't you seek out some members of your own House to socialize with for the remainder of the afternoon?"

Lily nodded, getting Snape's message. Facing into the display window of Honeydukes, Lily watched Snape and the other Slytherins' reflections in the glass. As Snape stalked over to them, Lily strained to hear their conversation.

"Taken up voyeurism, have we?" Snape spoke through his teeth.

"Nice, mate," Macnair sarcastically approved. "Count yourself lucky a looker like Evans has perverse taste in men." Snape threw a look back in Lily's direction, as though to discern if she was listening or not. Lily felt herself blush more as she began to imagine the rumors soon to fly about school.

"Perhaps next time you're ogling her you'll take notice that her robes are a Gryffindor's," Bellatrix advised with a sneer. "Maybe that will bring you back to reality long enough to see you're being made a fool of."

"I think I'll take one point off Slytherin for every second of my time you waste with your nonsense," Snape’s cold voice snapped out like a whip. "We're at thirty by my count."

Scowling at Snape, the Slytherins started walking off.

"Just remember _what_ you are, Snape," Lestrange reminded as he threw his arm around his girlfriend. "And who your real _friends_ are."

With that, Lily stepped into Honeydukes and hoped she'd still be able to try on dress robes in her size after the pound of chocolate she fully intended to eat.

* * * 

The Marauders found that waving their wands about was an effective means to reserving a booth in the Three Broomsticks from any who attempted to encroach. With a round of hot butterbeers already in front of them, James and Sirius were getting a head start on their traditional argument about who was picking up the tab.

"I recall you shelling out the Galleons last time we were at Diagon Alley," Sirius smirked. "Only decent for you to let me get it this time around."

"Oh, to Hell with you if that counts!" James laughed. "I had to pick your robes for your coin sack just so you'd let me!"

"And you're a bloody bastard for that!" Sirius declared. "You let me walk around half the day looking for it, accusing and threatening every last Slytherin I saw!"

"To be fair, you had every intention of doing that anyway," Peter interjected.

"Whose side are you on?" Sirius demanded with a laugh.

"Whoever happens to be paying for my butterbeer," Peter grinned.

"Well then that's mine," Sirius informed as he threw a deliberate look at James. "Because I'm calling shenanigans on Prongs for dirty pool last time about."

"Moony, tell him I'm buying your drinks." James glanced with a grin to Remus, who started to shake his head.

"I'm afraid I agree with Sirius this time around, James," Remus apologized. James sighed as he was clearly outnumbered.

"Alright, our drinks are on you," James agreed as he took a sip from his mug. "Of course, I call buying drinks _for the girls_ once they get in."

Sirius spit out a mouthful of butterbeer. Remus and Peter chuckled and raised their mugs to James for his nicely played trump of Sirius. Bitter that it would be James impressing Arabella and Lily, Sirius glowered at his supposed best friend.

"I wish the worst sort of ill upon your scruffy head, Potter," was all Sirius could mutter as he took an angry swig from his mug.

"If you bugger with the stag, Padfoot, you get the horns," James cautioned with a laugh. He noticed Arabella and Lily enter through the doorway of the Three Broomsticks and nudged his other Marauders. "Make way, gents."

The four boys pulled themselves out of the booth to greet the girls. James put a friendly hand on each of their shoulders as he headed toward the bar.

"I'll grab you girls both a mug, eh?" James offered without waiting for an answer. Lily watched James run off curiously.

"He _really_ is doing his best to impersonate a decent bloke isn't he?" Lily observed as she felt Sirius put one of his own hands on her shoulder as he led her over to the table.

"You should have been here two minutes ago." Sirius cast a glare at James who waved to him like the prat he was. "Slide on in, Lily."

As Lily took her seat in the booth next to Peter, with Sirius sliding after her, Sirius recalled his conversation with Arabella not a day earlier. She had informed him that Lily seemed about as unattached as she could discern and had spoken very highly of him when he came into the conversation. For his part, he had talked with James and was to make sure Arabella sat next to him in the booth. Sirius could only hope that the inside line Arabella had been feeding him was accurate, since he was planning on trying to get in good with Lily now that she seemed keen on him and tolerant of James. After all, if she couldn't get along with his best friend there wasn't much hope in a future for them.

When James got back with two mugs of butterbeer and a fresh round to come along in a short bit, he suppressed a scowl when he found Lily had been boxed in between Sirius and Peter. As Remus had cozily taken up one opening of the booth, James took the seat next to Arabella and handed both her and Lily their drinks.

"Fun day?" Remus asked politely.

"Both of us got our robes for the Yule Ball. Lily went with a beautiful green to go with her eyes," Arabella announced, turning to James. Arabella smiled and went on in detail about herself. "I found a lovely looking one in a nice sky blue. The clerk offered it up saying it would go along nicely with my clear eyes and golden hair. What do you think, James?"

_Why the hell is she asking me?_ James thought.

"Um, sounds like it would suit you," James answered before taking a sip of his butterbeer, hoping he responded right. Since Arabella smiled broader at this, he guessed he had done so. "So Lily, you're intending to go to the Ball then?"

"Not much sense in a dress if I didn't," Lily observed.

"Right..." James pondered if there was a stupider question he could have asked Lily but decided it simply wasn't possible.

"I think you'll look amazing. You always have such excellent taste, and green is truly your color," Sirius charmed as he put his arm around Lily, causing both her and James to cast him a surprised look.

"Um, thank you Sirius," Lily responded with a blush. Why was Sirius Black coming on to her? Lily thought he and Arabella…

"So James, are you planning on going?" Arabella cooed at him, while leaning into her hand.

_If only to bludgeon Sirius off Lily with a stick!_ James thought.

"Possibly," James replied. Arabella smiled shyly at this. Lily thought her jaw would threaten to hit the table. Arabella was flirting with _James_ , not Sirius. Which meant...

"You know, I think you would look positively smashing in the House colors, James," Arabella advised. "You're always so dashing in your Quidditch robes." She deliberately ran her hand up the length of his side to emphasize her point.

That was when James half fell, half leapt from the booth. Five sets of wide eyes were staring at him as he jumped to his feet.

"Apologies! I've had a lot of sugar," James tried to explain away his jitteriness. Peter looked at him quizzically.

"I don't see how. We haven't even been to Honeydukes yet," Peter remarked.

"Well that's because I drank a mug of maple syrup on a bet before we left the school," James said quickly, glaring at Peter, who took this as his hint to shut his Charm hole.

"Oh, well why don't we go to Honeydukes then?" Lily suggested. "Be a shame to waste our day inside."

"Be a shame to make James act queerer," Sirius commented as he eyed his friend but started to nudge Arabella out of the booth. "Still, would be fun to walk about in such lovely company."

"Yes, good fun!" James agreed as he started throwing galleons on the table for the girls' drinks and a tip. Sirius contributed to the pool as they made their way out of the Three Broomsticks.

* * *

Sirius had been right. It was fun strolling around Hogsmeade with Lily and Arabella. Armed with a camera, Arabella kept snapping moments of them having fun about the burg, handing the camera off to the occasional member of the group so she could get in on a few pictures. Sirius kept finding excuses to get off ahead or lag behind with Lily while Arabella had taken to pulling James around by the arm to show him one thing or another. As Arabella scampered off to take a picture of Peter with some cat merchandise, James took Remus to the side.

"Arabella's coming on to me!" James hissed with a look akin to panic.

"Foul woman!" Remus responded in sarcastic outrage. "I say we ship her off to Azkaban before things really get out of hand!"

"What's going on, Remus?" James demanded.

"Same thing since we left Diagon Alley," Remus shrugged. "Except now Sirius and Arabella have teamed up to bag you and Lily, I reckon."

"Oh bloody _hell_!" James shot a petrified look at Arabella, who waved. James forced a grin and waved back. "What do I do, Moony?"

"I don't know, but once you figure it out, remember a gentlemen never tells," Remus enjoyed James’s flustered antics.

"Could you _possibly_ attempt to be helpful?" James demanded frantically.

"I just don't see what the problem here is," Remus replied. "Arabella is a lovely woman to be attached to. Unless there's someone else you're fancying at the moment?"

Remus gave James an expectant look. He was hoping James would take the initiative and confess whatever was happening to himself, Lily, or Sirius, because his hand had just been forced and he couldn't possibly bluff everyone much longer.

"Um…" James sought the right response. "No. I just don't really think of her like that, is all, and I, um, want to let her down easy."

"Oh, come now James," Remus patted his friend on the back. "You'll never know how you feel about anybody unless you give them a chance. Unless you have some _good_ reason for not being with Arabella, I'm going to personally tell her not to let up until you give her one."

James hated Remus a little at this moment and hoped it showed.

"Thank you," James said coldly as he sulked off.

"It's called tough love, James," Remus called after him. "There will be a day when you understand and that will be the day you thank me for it."

Remus smiled a little to himself. He hated to see his friend so miserable, but he had to teach him not to bring it on his own head.

"Everyone gather about!" Arabella called to the group. "I want one last picture of the lot of us together in front of the Shrieking Shack before it's time to go on home."

Remus joined the others for the picture. Never the shy one, Sirius had an arm around Lily's waist while Arabella was practically coiled around James's arm. Everyone either offered or forced a smile in the last of a series of pictures that would provide memories they would later treasure and question.

  
* * *

* * *

Hope everyone's enjoying _Pensieve_ so far. As always my thanks goes out to those who read and review. It was such encouragement during _Pensieve's_ first run on FF.net that gave me the inspiration and motivation to write books of my own. 


	7. A Casual Affair

Usual Disclaimer: All the characters (well almost all of them) are property of J.K. Rowling and I’m merely borrowing her brilliance and her world with no claim to it at all. I’d like to thank the Harry Potter Lexicon in particular since they’re help in filling in the holes of Ms. Rowling’s world has been invaluable to making this story as authentic as possible. Please look them up sometime. 

 

As for why I chose to focus on the Lily and James era of things? Well the characters aren’t so deeply established (for the most part) that I have to worry about stepping over Ms. Rowling’s toes and perverting her thoughtful creations beyond necessity. I hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

 

_NOTE: Pensieve was originally written pre- OotP and HPB nor has it been amended to fit the canon of either the 5th or 6th Book. I have no intention of rewriting this to include JKR’s more recent books and interviews since it is fanfiction. If you are a canon conservative you may wish to read something else, but for those of you who don’t mind a few discrepancies I hope you enjoy reading Pensieve as much as I have writing it_

  
**Chapter 7**

**~ A Casual Affair ~**

By: _Oy! Angelina_

Beta by: _Taiyourshoes_  


* * * 

In the weeks approaching Halloween, the school was abuzz with rumors about what was going on with some of the most popular faces at Hogwarts.

As far as gossip was concerned…

…James Potter was jokingly referred to as the new ghost of Hogwarts since he seemed to all but vanish unless he was eating, at class, or practicing Quidditch. On the rare occasions he was spotted out on the grounds, Arabella Figg was certain to be present and rather cozy with James. Most of the school was filling in the blanks of James's frequent absences and they were often randy and sensationalized guesses. For the most part, everyone seemed to approve of the coupling as James was known to be witty and outgoing, so it only made sense that he'd get along well with an attractive girl who was famed to be quirky all her own.

If you were to ask Arabella, she would insist that nothing so tawdry was going on with James behind closed doors (though some felt she was merely trying to guard both their reputations), but she was wildly fond of him. 

If you were to ask James…

…Well, good luck finding James to ask him.

* * *

While James was busy fending off the relentless advances of Arabella, Lily Evans was the subject of the remaining gossip. As they were both Gryffindors and had virtually the same schedules, Sirius Black and Lily Evans often headed from one destination to another in each other's company. Lily appeared warmhearted to Sirius’s presence and had only nice things to say about him when he was mentioned in conversation, but refrained from indicating whether they were anything more than friends.

For his part, Sirius took any opportunity that crossed his path to make it known how special Lily seemed to be to him. Half the girls were swooning over the compliments they quoted Sirius to have said to Lily and the other half was completely envious that it wasn't them being paid all these attentions to by one of the most popular and attractive men at Hogwarts.

"If there were ever a witch and a wizard made for one another, it's those two!"

"It's like the fairytales me mum used to tell about kindly princesses and handsome knights!"

"Hold on! I thought Lily was with James?"

* * *

As far as James was concerned…

…Most of the school could up and go to Hell!

James felt like a cornered animal most of his waking hours as Arabella had this impressive knack for finding him wherever he happened to be. He had taken almost exclusively to getting around Hogwarts by means of the tunnels and passageways outlined on the Marauder's Map. Although it was a round-about means of doing things, James was more than willing to handle a little inconvenience if it meant being able to duck out of being caught alone with Arabella. James had yet to master being direct with women and there was something about the aggressive type that helped complicate things greatly. Usually he was reduced to grinning and stammering while Arabella did all the talking and managed to work in bit of affectionate (but by no means indecent) petting or so. To avoid such public displays just begging to be perverted with rumors, James spent all his free time in his room and ventured out only when absolutely necessary.

Aware of how much time Lily and Sirius had been spending together, James’s two weeks spent in hiding came to an abrupt end as he realized that he couldn't effectively keep Lily from falling for his best friend if he wasn't there to do something about it. Not wanting things to get out of hand with Arabella (or Lily and Sirius), James took his persistent pursuer aside in an effort to explain things as best he could. James told Arabella that he was fond of her as a friend but didn't really think of her as much beyond that. James had expected her to cry or scream or even hex him but he hadn't expected her to smile and laugh.

"Your friends warned me you'd be like this!" Arabella scolded adoringly as she began to list her information off on fingers. "Sirius Black reckoned that the only reason you haven't settled down yet is because you needed a girl as hardheaded as you! He told me you'd probably fancy the sort of girl who could hold her own with you so you wouldn't have to worry about coming off as pushy or offensive and the like."

_Great, now it will be impossible to get her to let up_ , James thought. 

James hated that his best friend knew him so well, as James did admire certain resilience in a woman, and made a mental note to kill Padfoot for knowing too much.

"Peter Pettigrew thought you were the sensitive type underneath it all and shy away from commitment unless you're certain of the person," Arabella continued. "And, for your information, James, it's not as though I've taken to calling myself ‘Arabella Potter’ or anything of the like! I'm just looking to talk and get to know you better is all! I haven't even insisted on so much as a kiss from you!"

James sighed as he recognized that Arabella had been fairly reasonable (although a little unremitting), all things considering, and felt guilty for trying to avoid her. He was also both impressed and inconvenienced at Peter's insights. Wormtail was right; James found intimate attachments to other people a complicated process. While he was more than friendly with practically everyone, James noticed that there were but a few that he shared any sort of genuine rapport with. For his part in contributing to Arabella's relentlessness, James had half a mind to strangle Peter.

"Remus Lupin didn't have as much to say on the matter," Arabella concluded. "He merely said that if you weren't truly interested in a wonderful person like myself then the only fair thing you could do by me is be completely honest as to why that is."

James could groan aloud as he marveled at Remus's ability to guilt trip him from afar. Beginning to suspect that not all of his friends were as ignorant of his attraction to Lily Evans as he had assumed, James was tempted to talk to Remus and get his perspective on the matter but knew already what Moony would advise him to do. Since Remus had done what he could to not lead Arabella on without betraying his friend, James decided Moony would be spared the bloody reckoning that awaited Sirius and Peter.

"With friends like these…" James slumped against the wall. 

Arabella offered a lopsided grin as she joined him.  "I think they have your best intentions at heart."

"The funny thing about that, Arabella, is you're right," James said in a depressed tone.

"So, what about it then, James?" Arabella pressed. "You have any decent reason as to why we can't hang about?"

James ran his wand hand through his hair and gazed over at Arabella.

"Actually, I do."

"Oh," Arabella replied quietly. She paused expectantly for him to continue.

"I'm sort of interested in this other girl," James whispered as though he had just confessed a horrible secret. Arabella nodded silently without looking at him.

"Who?" Arabella sounded like a sad little owl when she spoke that single word and it broke James’s heart a little to see the traditionally vivacious Arabella Figg so downtrodden.

"I - I'm not at liberty to say." James shifted his gaze.

Arabella seemed to be nodding to this as well.

"So is this the same girl you were with that first night back?" Arabella asked. "I mean, that's just something I heard."

"Um, that's a complicated sort of question..." James muttered.

"I'm sorry, it's really not my business," Arabella apologized. She looked up, as though a thought had just suddenly come to strike her. "But where has she been, then, all this month?"

"Pardon?" James's thoughts weren't connecting.

"I mean, I've been anything but subtle about my intentions for you, James," Arabella observed with something of a blush. "What does she have to say to all that?"

"Oh, well... she doesn't really know how I feel about her," James deflated. 

He wondered how Lily did feel about all this. Whatever it was, it certainly hadn't broken the surface of her exterior. Of course, James had been holding up in his room a lot lately.

"Then, you can't see me because you fancy a girl, whose identity you can't divulge to me, that doesn't even _know_ that you fancy her?" Arabella verbalized. James suddenly appreciated just how lame his reasoning sounded.

"Um, yeah," James agreed uncomfortably. Arabella sighed as she pushed herself off the wall to face James with a gentle smile.

"Are you making this all up for my benefit?" Arabella demanded. 

James was tempted to stare at her as though she were mad for believing the complicated affairs of his life was nothing more than a ruse, but then he realized just how absurd it all happened to sound once he was done.

"No!" James insisted adamantly. "Arabella, I swear every last word I have uttered has been nothing but the pathetic truth of my life. I can't be with you because I'm completely infatuated with a girl who I'm not entirely certain takes notice of my existence outside of passing!"

Arabella started to laugh and James felt as though he could cry.

"James, look, I believe you, okay?" Arabella offered. "I'll do what I can to back off a bit."

James sighed appreciatively and prepared to profusely thank Arabella for being so understanding until she continued.

"…but don't expect me to give up! I mean, unless you're planning on making anything official with this mystery girl who might not even be interested in you, I see no reason as to why I should abandon you all together," Arabella smirked. "If things between you and your crush get serious, do let me know. Otherwise, I'll see you around."

With a small wave, Arabella trotted off and James couldn't help but wonder if it was possible to arrange for a death curse to be cast upon him in the near future.

* * *

As far as Lily was concerned…

…The whole school needed to invest in a life.

As though Lily didn't have enough on her mind without worrying about what new rumor was in circulation at the moment. Lily used her studies and duties as a Prefect to get lost in her own life. She had spent much of her free time in between with Sirius Black since James Potter was rarer to come across than a phoenix as of late. Guessing that Sirius was a bit lonely, Lily didn't mind keeping him company, but over the past couple of weeks she sensed a pattern in Sirius's intentions. Lily would be lying if she pretended to not be flattered that Sirius Black had his eye on her, but she wasn't sure if she returned the same sentiment. This provided no small source of guilt to Lily, as she didn't want to lead Sirius on but wasn't sure if there was anything to truly prevent her from pursuing what he was so clearly inviting.

Lily caught herself secretly hoping that James might give her some sort of reason to resist the charms of his best friend, but he appeared to be getting along famously with Arabella. However, in the defense of James, he appeared more than a bit awkward whenever she caught Arabella purring up against him like a cat. The nasty part of Lily wanted to believe that the only reason James was upset was because he couldn't toy with her emotions as effectively if she knew he and Arabella were an item. Of course, Lily was pretty certain that James was sincerely distraught by Arabella's advances and simply didn't know how to handle the lively blonde.

Wishing she could be mad about the sordid state of her life, Lily felt she only had herself to blame in the end. She had, after all, practically insisted that Arabella make a play for James, as unwitting as her support may have been. It wasn't Arabella's fault if she had the forthright nature to follow the brilliant advice of her friend and Prefect. So why hadn't Lily acted on it herself?

"Because, in the end, I don't really know James," Lily admitted softly to herself as she patrolled the halls with her Prefect badge out in plain view.

It was close to lights out for the evening and she wanted to be sure that all the Gryffindors in her charge were on their ways back to the dormitory if they weren't there already. She had shooed a younger member of the House by the name of Bill Weasley off not five minutes before and figured there was at least another straggler or two about. Until she crossed paths with them, she was left with her own roundabout thoughts.

Beginning to think she had overestimated James's capacity to manipulate people and he was, in fact, just a prat who was completely ignorant of how senseless he could be, Lily wondered where that left things between them now. They had barely exchanged any dialogue since their trip to Hogsmeade, and what little conversation they had never amounted to anything important since Sirius or Arabella would shortly wander in and break up the conversation. Lily just figured the only reason they bothered trying to speak at all was to make sure the other still knew they were alive and about, in some fashion.

_It simply wouldn't be proper for me to fight it out with Arabella since I'm not sure I even want James,_ Lily's mind worked. _She probably knows more about the boy by now than I do._

What did she know about James?

Lily didn't have much of an opportunity to explore that question as she turned a corner of a corridor and ran into Severus Snape. Thrown off balance, Lily felt herself stumble slightly until Snape caught her upper arm to steady her.

"Thanks," Lily sighed.

"You should be more careful," Snape advised rather than criticized.

"Wasn't really expecting to run into anyone, let alone literally," Lily explained as she adjusted her robes. "Sorry by the way."

"I believe I'll manage," Snape dryly replied. "Shall we walk together for a bit?"

"That would be nice," Lily sighed gratefully. She wouldn't be forced to ponder her previous line of thought about James with Snape around since he only bothered to mention his rival in brief and insulting increments.

"I haven't seen much of you outside of Potions," Snape observed. 

It was true that she had been keeping herself pretty busy when Sirius wasn't. Lily couldn't be sure if this was Snape's means of indicating he'd somewhat missed her company or if he was simply flexing his ever astute perception.

"It's not intentional. I've just been rather preoccupied lately," Lily assured.

"As I've heard," Snape nodded aloofly.

"So our Houses will be playing against each other in only a couple weeks, then," Lily referred to the first Quidditch match of the year. Lily knew Quidditch was one of the precious few things Snape was sincerely fond of, especially when it was a Slytherin victory over the Gryffindors.

"I feel as though my team may have the advantage this time around," Snape commented with a smug grin. "After all, _our_ Chasers are only concerned with following around a quaffle."

"I'll have you know our Mr. Potter is all business once he steps onto the pitch," Lily defended the Gryffindors against Snape's innuendo.

"I suppose we'll see how well placed your faith is then, come November." Snape attempted to sound indifferent, but Lily knew he was anything but.

Still, Lily actually enjoyed some of the time she spent with Snape. He was an available source of intelligent conversation and his wit kept her constantly on her toes. Surviving an afternoon with Severus Snape made dealing with the usual banter of James, Sirius, and their other friends relatively tame.

"It's good to talk like this. You know, I think you're the only person who hasn't bothered to ask about Sirius and I," Lily noticed appreciatively.

"Mine is not one of the many lives which revolve around yours, Evans," Snape informed.  Lily cringed at this. She immediately regretted bringing it up as she realized Snape probably had little desire to hear about the affairs of her social life. Snape observed her sudden silences and decided to clarify himself. "That is to say, it's not my place to pry."

"Don't ask, don't tell, then," Lily agreed.

"I have little to say on the matter is all," Snape rationalized.

"What _do_ you have to say?" Lily asked meekly, which provoked a quizzical expression from Snape. She was tired of a bunch of giggling girls telling her to jump at Sirius and her constant preoccupation with James was wearing at her as well. "I just wanted to ask someone who knows me, that's all."

Snape sighed at this and stopped walking in the hall for a moment. He evidently wasn't comfortable with being placed on the spot like this. Lily doubted she'd get anything less than the usual venom Snape spewed at the mention of Sirius or his other friends, but she needed to hear something different from what she had been listening to for half the month. Pondering his response, Snape's black eyes shot at her decisively.

" _Superficially_ , everything about you and Black makes sense. Attractive, popular, adept at magic..." Snape seemed to loath admitting this, Lily guessed, because he was actually complimenting Sirius. "However, you asked for the opinion of someone who knows you, Evans."

Lily held her breath as she waited for Snape's real response on the subject.

"I suggest you seek your own counsel then," Snape flatly recommended. "You're the only person here or anywhere that has the faintest idea of what's right for you."

"That's it?" Lily couldn't help but sound surprised. "You know, for a man who's rarely at a loss for telling people how to better conduct themselves..."

"Is that what you were hoping for, Evans?" Snape stepped forward, looming over Lily in an almost intimidating manner. "That I would _tell_ you what to do?"

Was that true? Had Lily just wanted someone to come along, tell her the right path to walk so she could wash her hands of the entire matter without a second thought? Lily bit her lip.

"No," Lily decided. Snape nodded, taking a step back.

"Never give _anyone_ the power to control you, Evans," Snape warned. "Especially if the only reason is because you are either too indecisive or too lazy to manage your own affairs."

Lily paused with her mouth slightly agape, poised to argue against this point, but she merely exhaled instead.

"I know, thank you Severus," Lily replied. "You're so incredibly right I feel stupid that we even had to have this conversation."

"There are harder lessons to learn with more dire consequences," Snape assured. "I trust you'll live through this one long enough to make our next Prefect meeting?"

"Yes, I'll see you tomorrow." Lily produced a smile. "Good night, Severus."

"Farewell, Evans," Snape nodded as they parted down opposite halls.

Lily headed back toward the Gryffindor dormitories, deciding that she wouldn't close herself off to either Sirius or James.

"No one says I have to commit to either right this moment," Lily realized aloud. "I shouldn't stop socializing with Sirius simply because James confuses me and I should find out more about James before I give Sirius any sort of answer. As long as I make that clear, I'm not being unfair to either, I think."

* * *

Lily entered the common room, relieved that everyone had seemed to go off to bed without her having to threaten someone with her wand. Making her way up the stairs, Lily became aware of a presence watching her. She glanced up the landing to see James Potter perched on the edge of a step peering down. She didn't know if he had been waiting for her, but a part of her was happy to see him.

"Rough night?" James inquired, barely shifting from the position he seemed to be comfortable in.

"Not so bad," Lily shrugged. "Where have you been hiding yourself lately?"

"Mostly my room," James confided before coyly adding: "and few other places I can't let the Prefects get wind of."

Lily smiled slightly to herself at this.

"That's what I'll always be too you, won't I?" Lily asked without any resentment. "The opposition?"

"Yes, in many ways…" James threw a sad smile at her, "and no for many more."

In truth, Lily and James themselves had become the biggest obstacles in their own relationship and until they figured that out for themselves, they were stuck in a stalemate. James slowly pulled himself onto his feet before looking down at Lily once more.

"What does that mean?" Lily pressed.

"It means…" James chose his words, "…that I don't think you'll ever know what you are to me."

James started up the stairs before casting one last glance Lily's way, but this time his smile was one of solace.

"Don't worry. I doubt _I'll_ ever really know either. Night."

Lily heard the door to the boys' dormitories close. Sighing, she walked over to her own bedroom and entered, all the while wondering to herself how such a bizarre little exchange could offer so much hope to her life.

* * *

_Pensieve_ has reached the 1000 hits mark already. Thanks to everyone reading for the first time and those who have always kept _Pensieve_ in a kind place close to their hearts.

Thanks, as always, for those who take the time to read and review. I'll keep the updates coming every week as long as I can help it.


	8. First Signs of Land

Usual Disclaimer: All the characters (well almost all of them) are property of J.K. Rowling and I’m merely borrowing her brilliance and her world with no claim to it at all. I’d like to thank the Harry Potter Lexicon in particular since they’re help in filling in the holes of Ms. Rowling’s world has been invaluable to making this story as authentic as possible. Please look them up sometime. 

 

As for why I chose to focus on the Lily and James era of things? Well the characters aren’t so deeply established (for the most part) that I have to worry about stepping over Ms. Rowling’s toes and perverting her thoughtful creations beyond necessity. I hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

 

_NOTE: Pensieve was originally written pre- OotP and HPB nor has it been amended to fit the canon of either the 5th or 6th Book. I have no intention of rewriting this to include JKR’s more recent books and interviews since it is fanfiction. If you are a canon conservative you may wish to read something else, but for those of you who don’t mind a few discrepancies I hope you enjoy reading Pensieve as much as I have writing it_

  
**Chapter 8**

**~ First Signs of Land ~**

By: _Oy! Angelina_

Beta by: _Taiyourshoes_

* * *

November was bright and crisp at Hogwarts and everything seemed to fade into the background, as the first Quidditch game of the season was only a few days away. Making peace with their respective problems, both James and Lily were in higher spirits now that they had each come to the conclusion that they were in control of their own lives.

Lily had approached Sirius, explaining that, for reasons not entirely specified, she wasn't looking for more than a friendship at the moment. Disappointed but by no means daunted, Sirius respected Lily's wishes though made it clear that he had no intention of abandoning his hopes for them altogether. As he never wandered from the boundaries she had established, Lily and Sirius remained on exceedingly good terms and were seen often in one another's company. 

Having come to their arrangement earlier on, James and Arabella were seen spending time together but only in a casual manner that none could definitively say was beyond friendship. It was obvious that Arabella was still looking for something more to develop between them but had managed to tone down most her interactions with James to nothing more than flirting.

Back to their usual antics, the Marauders made it a point of order to prank Slytherins, making sure their rival House would be good and riled up for their upcoming match. Lily Evans was less than thrilled with this behavior as it meant she was often left apologizing to Severus Snape for the actions of her fellow Gryffindor. Amazingly enough, Snape was still willing to speak with Lily (although he would often point out her lack of control as their Prefect). Things came to a head when the Marauders had spent an entire afternoon gathering garter snakes only to enchant them with the Gryffindor House colors and set them loose in the Slytherin common room.

It required Peter and Remus to pull Lily off of Sirius and James for having to deal with Snape after the mongoose used to round up the snakes had mauled his leg. After fits of hysterical laughter at the image of this, they agreed to let up on the Slytherins for her sake.

Still, this passed for normal amongst the Gryffindors and, by the end of the day, they could still say they were friends.

* * * 

On the morning of the Quidditch match, James received an owl at breakfast. James was more than curious by this since he had no family to write to him and virtually everyone else he knew either taught at or attended Hogwarts along with him. The stationary was that of the Ministry of Magic and James frantically sought his brain for what he might have done recently that could have earned the ire of the magical bureaucracy. Once through the envelope, James saw the letter was from Frank Longbottom and sighed in relief.

Longbottom was a well-respected Auror within the Ministry whose family line was incredibly popular amongst wizarding kind. As many Potters tended to be, James's parent had been Aurors as well and worked closely with Frank Longbottom, who wasn't even ten years older than their own son. James's parents had died not long after Frank had joined the ministry and, out of fondness for his parents' memories, Frank and his recently married wife took it upon themselves to keep an eye on James until he was old enough to manage his own affairs. They were far from alone in this responsibility as other Wizards associated with the ministry, such as the Bones family and the great Albus Dumbledore himself, made sure that James Potter would grow to become the respectable person his parents had envisioned, in spite of their premature departure from his life.

* * *

_Dear James,_

_The holidays are steadily approaching and myself and the Misses see little sense in you staying alone at your parents’ home if it can be helped. If you're not interested in spending the break at Hogwarts, we'd be more than happy to take you on for a stay! If you have plans though, I trust you'll have more than an interesting time. I know I did on the few occasions I stayed over on holiday. Back in the day, eh? Regardless of where you decide to stay, you'll be in ample supply of some of our plum cakes; the recipe has been in the family since Ollivander's started making wands!_

_Things going well at Hogwarts, I trust? Must be keeping yourself occupied with Quidditch and your lessons, not to mention whatever plots you and your friends are cooking up for the Slytherin. Incidentally, be sure to prank them once for me!  Write us about what's going on in your life so I can pass it along to those who are interested in how you're getting along._

_Looking forward to your reply! Mr. and Mrs. Frank Longbottom_

_P.S. If you have a lady friend you'd care to invite, don't even consider it to be an imposition!_

* * *

James smiled at this. He supposed Frank figured he should start prying and meddling, as his parents undoubtedly would be if they were still around. Doubting that he would have enough time to compose a decent letter and eat breakfast before his match, James decided he would respond to the Longbottoms later that evening or the next morning.

Folding the letter into his Quidditch robes, James was joined by the rest of his team to warm up on the pitch.

* * *

Still in the Gryffindor dormitories, Remus and Sirius were busy adjusting their robes and scarves so they would be properly supporting their House at the match that afternoon. After the third time of bellowing for Peter to join them, the two other Marauders decided to investigate what was detaining their friend. Crouched over his cauldron with a wand in hand, Peter was completely transfixed with some loose sections of parchment clutched in hand.

"What have you made here, Wormtail?" Remus peered into the brew and twitched his nose at the pungent odor wafting out.

"Dunno for sure," Peter admitted as he flipped through his notes. "I was attempting to churn up something special for after the match. Best I can figure, it's either alcohol or a stupefying potion."

"You say that like there's a difference," Sirius smirked as he knelt next to Peter.

"Only in the sense of whether the effects are gradual or instantaneous," Peter mumbled as he passed the parchments over to Sirius. Taking the notes from his friend's pudgy hands, Sirius poked at some of the ingredients while studying the directions implied.

"I think you've got about the right idea here," Sirius nodded approvingly as he rose, patting Peter on the back. "I'll help you finish it once we get back, but we have to go."

"Thanks," Peter breathed appreciatively as he joined Remus and Sirius on their feet.

"Best not let anyone find that," Remus frowned. "I don't feel like explaining a bunch of staggering 1st Years playing Spark in the Dark to McGonagall later on."

"Bah, we'll just offer her up a drink if that happens," Sirius chuckled. Remus just shook his head with a smile as they shut the door behind them and went to meet up with the other Gryffindors in the common room.

* * *

The House Prefect, Lily Evans, led her fellow Gryffindors out to the Quidditch pitch. Everyone was excited, in particular the 1st Years as many were seeing their first game of Quidditch. Lily remembered what it was like for her way back when. Having come from a Muggle family, Lily had been still reeling from all the wonders of the Wizarding world in general, but to see something like Quidditch… Well, all the descriptions in the world from her Wizard-born friends couldn't have prepared her for it.

Passing by the Slytherins, insults were traded between Houses as a traditional part of the pre-match fun. Lily spied Snape leading the front of his House. He noticed her but they shared only a swift, acknowledging nod of their heads before splintering off to take their respective places in the stands. If they didn't have their entire Houses behind them, Lily guessed they might have said something to one another; however, it would be a little unorthodox as things were now. Still, Lily predicted that if the Slytherin won, it would be days before Snape bothered to stop pointing the triumph out while a Gryffindor victory would probably mean days before he got around to speaking to her again.

Lily took a seat on a bench between Sirius and Remus, looking expectantly on at the field.

"Big fan of Quidditch, Lily?" Sirius asked as she surveyed the pulsating stands.

"Not nearly as much as Arabella seems to be," Lily smiled. Arabella was so excited, keeping her seated for more than a few moments was near impossible. She calmed only slightly after stampeding Peter's foot.

Lily glanced between Remus, Peter, and Sirius.

"So how come none of you went out for Quidditch with James?" Lily inquired, as they all shared a lust for excitement and both Remus and Sirius seemed to be in better than average shape.

"Well, I'm often too under the weather to be able to handle the practices, and there are some days of the month that I'm no good at all," Remus explained vaguely.

"I tried out with James, but he won the spot over me because he was a daft bastard with no regard for personal safety. You know, the qualities the sport prides itself on," Sirius reminisced with a sarcastic grin. "And I'm pleased to say that it, in no way, affected the relationship I have with that backstabbing bloody wanker."

"I was something of a klutz when I attempted, eliminated long before Sirius," Peter shrugged.

"Come now, Peter. Anyone could have mistaken a bludger for a quaffle." Remus patted his friend on the back.

"The important thing was the Seeker was there to break your fall," Sirius nodded, before he and Remus struggled to stifle their laughter. Peter shot them a look so harsh Lily thought it should be included in a Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson plan.

"Oh, I _never_ get tired of hearing you two tell that story," Peter glared, as Sirius and Remus decided to just break down into hysterics.

"Good thing we never get tired of telling it!" Sirius gasped.

"You know what story _I never get tired of telling_?" Peter smirked. "The one where you uncovered that nasty enlargement spell that horribly backfired when you attempted to specialize it for -"

Remus and Sirius leapt on Peter, attempting to strangle him with his Gryffindor scarf.

"What have we told you about mixing potions in poorly ventilated areas?" Sirius shot Arabella and Lily a forced grin. "POINT MADE PETER!!!"

Collapsing into themselves through fits of laughter, Arabella and Lily grinned at one another while shaking their heads. A similar account had occurred with some girls in their dormitory, but they had long since agreed to omit the details of that event.

"You and I _need_ to have a luncheon sometime, Peter," Lily chuckled as the boys readjusted themselves into their seats, playfully shoving one another.

"GOOD AFTERNOON HOGWARTS! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR THE OPENING QUIDDITCH MATCH BETWEEN LONGTIME RIVALS: GRYFFINDOR AND SLYTHERIN, WHO WILL BE ASCENDING THE PITCH MOMENTARILY!" The announcer's voice vibrated throughout the pitch. Riled and ready, the Gryffindors and Slytherins were already on their feet, cheering in support of their House teams.

* * *

As the Gryffindor Quidditch team headed toward the pitch, the members exchanged nervous, but broad grins. As Captain, it fell on James Potter to always pull his teammates together with some parting sentiments.

"Alright, everyone knows straight out whose the better players heading out there. When you're eye isn't on a quaffle, bludger, or snitch, respectively, it had better be on a Slytherin," James encouraged.

"Same to yeh, Cap’n, or ye'll be hav’n those pretty faces visiting yeh in the hospital wing!" Cassidy Kinkade, a 6th year beater, quipped at James's latest reputation around school. James smirked.

"I'd break your arm for that if I didn't need you to wield that bat out there!" James assured before refocusing the team. Slytherin was always a tough rabble to contend with and were notorious for their dirty ploys. "Remember, expect the Slytherins to cheat because that's the only way they can hope to win against us. You give the Slytherins hell, Gryffindors, when you're giving Hogwarts a show!"

With that, the seven members of the Gryffindor House team mounted their brooms and flew in formation for their opening lap around the pitch.

* * *

The school erupted into applause, whistles, and cheers as the Slytherin and Gryffindor teams circled the pitch.

"Look! There's James!" Arabella squealed as she pointed him out in the lead of their House players. "He's positively _irresistible_ in those Quidditch robes of his!" Lily's eyes followed James on his broom.

"Damn those uniforms," Peter sulked. "Unfair advantage, is what it is."

"So we're on for pummeling James and stealing his robes then?" Remus smirked while leaning over to Sirius. Sirius laughed as Arabella joined in.

"Bloody hell, if you're up to that I get to be the one who does the stripping!" Arabella insisted with a wicked grin. The boys were in fits of laughter at this while Lily couldn't contain a smile. Their eyes all turned to the pitch as the match was about underway.

"MADAM HOOCH TAKES THE FIELD. THE QUAFFLE IS RELEASED AND -"

* * *

No sooner had the Gryffindors arrived in their common room had a party started up in honor of their Quidditch victory. Professor McGonagall conjured some refreshments for the House to feast on while some of the older students saw to creating decorations to make it all officially feel like a bash.

Everyone was talking, laughing, and all around enjoying themselves for the moment, not worrying about what exams they were expecting or how many feet of parchment soon to be due. McGonagall relived the game with the entire Quidditch team at one point or another, who neglected to change out of their robes to commemorate the evening. In between Peter and Sirius’s frequent disappearances to their dormitories for some undisclosed reason, the Marauders were providing colorful slants of the events that had taken place, with Arabella joining in on occasion.

Lily, for the most part, felt as though she had the evening off also since everyone appeared to be behaving themselves. A little later on, Lily found herself discussing some school politics with Professor McGonagall while the remaining Gryffindors were heard laughing and chatting over the music in the background. Eventually checking her pocket watch, Professor McGonagall sighed at the time.

"Pity I must retire from the celebration so early on." McGonagall shook her head at Lily. "However, it's doubtful my lessons for next week will be preparing themselves."

Lily rose with the Head of her House to bid her farewell for the evening.

"Shall I see to wrapping things up then?" Lily asked.

"Oh, goodness no! It's barely past eight. I see no reason to ruin everyone else's evening simply because I will no longer be present." McGonagall allowed a shallow smile to pass her lips. "I trust you'll be able to manage things, Miss Evans, and be sure that the party comes to an end around a respectable hour?" Professor McGonagall's eyes pierced at Lily from over her glasses. Lily put forth her most trustworthy appearing demeanor.

"Not to worry, Professor McGonagall," Lily assured.

"Very well then," McGonagall nodded approvingly before addressing the remainder of the House. "And to you, Gryffindors, congratulations and mind your Prefect."

After McGonagall had clearly departed through the Fat Lady Portrait, the Gryffindors felt as though the party was truly ready to begin.

* * *

At the peek of Gryffindor tower was a vacant attic, with a panel of the cone shaped ceiling removed for students in the House to work on Astronomy homework when the regular tower was unavailable, although, most of the time, it was used for deeds most ladies wouldn't ask about and most gentlemen wouldn't repeat. James Potter sat in the center of the empty floor, with a parchment, bottle of ink, and eagle feather quill as company. The clear night provided more than enough light for him. He was debating his return letter to Frank Longbottom when he heard the door creak open and Remus Lupin step in. "You could be doing that in our room." Remus gestured to the stationary supplies.

"No, I can't," James corrected. "Not with Peter and Sirius constantly coming up to me saying, 'Taste this and tell us if you go blind.'"

"Ah, so they're still at their bootlegging, hmm?" Remus observed as he glanced around the empty room. "Traditionally, this is no place for a man to be alone." James raised an eyebrow to this innuendo.

"Yeah, well now that you're here I'm sure a fresh batch of deviant rumors concerning my sex life will come into circulation," James muttered as he tapped the feather of his quill against his chin. Remus settled next to James and passed him an unopened butterbeer.

"You know, most men would kill for the suave reputation you have going for you," Remus informed. "Sirius and I are trying to get one going for Peter, but he doesn't help matters much when half the school suspects he attends Yule Balls with his cousin." James laughed, feeling slightly better.

"As flattering as it all may be, it's not my niche in our group," James sighed. "I feel like I'm stealing Sirius's thunder. He's the dashing one, you're the mysterious one, Peter's the dependable one, and I'm the prat."

"Nah, you're our fearless leader," Remus assured with a sip of his drink. "And, though it doesn't always speak well for the rest of us, you're also the brightest. Which is why I can't figure out why you're being such a git lately."

James glanced over to Remus before running his fingers through his already indomitable hair with a sigh.  "Neither can I”�

"You ready to talk about it?" Remus asked interestedly.

"Yes, just not at the moment," James agreed. "It's technically my night and all. Don't want to muck it all up by getting depressed, now do I?"

Remus nodded as he looked up at the moon that was nearly full.

"Tomorrow we have to head out to the Shrieking Shack, you know," Remus reminded. Remus was already feeling the ill effects of his condition and loathed how worse they would become in twenty-four hours time. If not for the presence of his friends on those dreaded nights, Moony was certain he'd be nowhere near as sane as he had managed to remain.

"Yes," James recalled, "we'll just persuade Padfoot and Wormtail to make a side trip to Honeydukes while I go with you to the Shack. You and I will have a nice long opportunity to reflect on what I wanker I've been. Maybe you'll even be able to see me better through it."

"I think the best I can do for you, Prongs, is simply let you unburden yourself," Remus admitted. "Any advice I give will probably be of the obvious variety."

"I figured as much, but I still think you have a point regardless," James shrugged. "I really need someone to talk to. I can't yet with Sirius because I feel I owe him an explanation that's better than the one I have so far, and Peter would mean well but he’s a little awkward at this sort of thing."

Remus pulled himself to his feet, evidently preparing to leave James.

"Well, when you're ready, I'll listen and I won't judge you, old friend," Remus assured. "But you should know that I think you're worrying about the wrong thing, James. If I was in Sirius's position, I'd be more upset that you didn't think you could confide in me rather than you happening to have the same taste in women."

Damn Moony and his insights!

"If you're done ruining my evening…" James gestured to the door with a small grin. Remus bowed away apologetically and headed for the door.

"I'll see you down in a bit then," Remus bid farewell as he shut the door. James sighed and turned back to his letter. All he had scribed so far was the heading as everything else concerning his life seemed to be caught in such a tempest that James didn't know where to begin or if what he wrote would even be true. He had been so busy hiding truths and crafting lies as of late, who knows what he'd produce?

"I need something sincere, something honest to tie this all together," James decided.

Now all he needed to do was figure out what it could be.

* * *

Extinguishing the flame underneath his cauldron, Peter glanced to Sirius as he poured the contents into a large bottle.

"You reckon we pulled it off?" Sirius asked optimistically.

"Well, if not, I'm sure there's an open market for potions that cause projectile vomit," Peter shrugged as he corked the bottle. Remus joined them in the room while Sirius beamed at him.

"I very much doubt this is how all our parents envisioned our education at Hogwarts." Remus shook his head.

"Moony! Just in time for the taste test!" Sirius waved him over.

"I'll thank you kindly to keep your piss water away from me," Remus requested. He didn't dare provoke the beast within by relieving his inhibitions in the least. "You two should know I have little use for anything claiming to put hair on me."

"But this will put some on your tongue!" Peter tempted as he swished the bottle. Remus just laughed and shook his head again.

"No, thank you," Remus ended the conversation. "I only came in here to pull off my sweater, then I'll be rejoining the party."

"Then where's our Guinea Prongs?" Sirius demanded.

"Leave him be," Remus ordered with a swift point in their direction. "He's off writing a letter."

"Alright, fine," Sirius relented.

"We could probably find someone downstairs to take a swig," Peter said helpfully, to which Sirius nodded.

"Of course we'll need to devise a means to distract our perfect Prefect," Sirius said thoughtfully. "This will demand all our cunning."

"Well, I think I'll leave you two Head Boys to work that one out," Remus rolled his eyes as he left the bedroom.

* * *

Lily hadn't seen any of the four Marauders in about ten minutes and had started to grow suspicious, when Remus Lupin came down. Lily made a beeline for the tall boy and he smiled as she approached.

"Prefect," he said respectfully with a tight lipped grin.

"Where are your partners in crime?" Lily smiled sweetly.

"Up to very bad things, I trust." Remus offered a broad one of his own, showing off his slightly elongated incisors.

"Are you going to tell me or do I have to seek them out?" Lily questioned nicely. Figuring he wouldn't be able to bluff Lily all that effectively, Remus decided to play with the truth.

"Well, Sirius and Peter are working on something to make them more desirable to women and will be down shortly to test that out." Which was a half-truth at worst.

"And James, well, I believe he went up to the roof alone. Suspicious look to that boy, as he was working on a parchment," which was a fair assumption. Lily patted Remus on the arm appreciatively.

"Keep an eye on things a bit for me?" Lily requested. "I'm just going to make sure James isn't fashioning some make-shift hell to introduce into my life. Tell Sirius and Peter happy hunting for me, hmm?"

"Not a problem, Lily," Remus nodded as he inserted himself into the bash. Lily made her way up the dormitory stairs and disappeared. A few minutes later, Peter and Sirius rejoined the party and were casting their gazes around deliberately.

"What happened to Lily?" Sirius observed.

"I've arranged for her to go off and make wild accusations at James for a bit," Remus assured. "I reckon they'll exchange a few words before she realizes the most damnable thing in that attic is writer's block."

"Looks like we won't get to have our go at it then!" Peter snapped his finger in frustration.

"Yes, I'm sure it was brilliant." Remus, once again, rolled his eyes. "Just never mind her and get to your corrupting if you're still planning on it."

Without need for further invitation, Sirius and Peter were off. Satisfied with himself, Remus marveled at how he had managed to help all three his closest friends in a few short minutes.

* * *

James was still stuck on his words when he heard the attic door creak open once more. He turned to tell which ever of the Marauders he expected to see to leave him in peace, but found Lily Evans instead. Closing the door behind her, Lily approached James with an amused expression.

"Alright, what do we have here?" Lily faked a suspicious voice. "Outlining some sort of prank?"

James smiled self-consciously.

"Just hiding out for a bit." James confessed. "I'm trying to commit myself to writing a letter, but I'm not really getting anywhere."

"Oh." Lily figured that was plausible enough since she had seen him receive an Owl. "I guess I'll just let you…"

"No, stay!" James insisted. "It was starting to frustrate me anyway. I need the distraction."

"Well, alright then," Lily replied cautiously as she took a seat near James on the floor. She stretched her legs in front of her, leaning on her hands. She recalled a comment Arabella had made at the Quidditch match and determined there was some truth to her friend's statement:

James _did_ look very handsome in his Quidditch robes.

"So, whom are you writing the letter to?"

"Umm, my guardians, of sort," James said. "Just want to see how I'm doing, is all."

It had slipped Lily’s mind that James was orphaned. He carried himself so carefree about Hogwarts all the time that it was hard to recall what his life must be like outside the castle walls. Lily couldn't help but wonder what the mind of James Potter was like when he wasn't plotting against the Slytherin, defying school rules, or diligently studying his lessons. She imagined there was a sadness she wouldn't be able to appreciate and a loneliness she had never known.

"Your family, they were mostly Aurors, weren't they?" Lily asked carefully. She was hoping this wasn't too sensitive a topic for James to pursue. "Such a noble and brave profession to go into."

"Sort of a Potter tradition," James stated with a quiet smile. "Brash and convicted, I share blood with a line full of people who weren't all that accustomed to sitting about and hoping things would turn out fine in the end."

"You know what I heard once when someone had mentioned your family?" Lily breathed in the fresh night air. "A girl who had been fond of you back in our 2nd year told me, 'If the world were a storybook, every last Potter would be a prince adventuring about until they were done saving the day and off to live happily ever after.' But I don't think that's right."

"Oh?" James had a questioning sort of grin.

"When I thought of you, I told that girl if the world was a storybook, you'd insist on being the writer," Lily continued. James laughed a little. "That way, your cunning and your style would fashion something memorable. I said I didn't think it mattered to a Potter if the hero was always happy or safe, so long as the ending was for the best. From what I heard, it does your name little justice to say the most a Potter has to offer is pride and bravery. Not when there is integrity, selflessness, and morality to choose from."

This touched James as no words could describe. He had spent every quiet hour of his past few years wondering if all his family had sacrificed had been unnecessary, if there had ever been a point to a Potter facing some unmentionable evil, to fight some futile fight, and die as a reward for their valor. Of all the expressions ever offered to him, in times of remembrance and times of consoling, no one had ever selected such a simple string of words that had made James find a little peace with the loss of his kin.

James fought back the tears threatening his eyes. He couldn't risk scaring off Lily, not when they were finally building a rapport.

"So, what tradition do you have to uphold in your family?" James asked quietly, glancing at Lily.

"None really. I'm something of a pioneer." Lily grinned. "First Evans to be a witch, you know. I almost wish I had a few footsteps to follow in. I feel as though I could use a sense of direction."

James shook his head at this.

"The thing to understand about wizarding families, Lily, is that they all run back to that one person who started them, and that's the standard," James explained. "The choices that person makes, the life they choose to lead will be what guides every last drop of blood that flows through their descendents' veins."

"So no pressure, huh?" Lily groaned, causing James to laugh.

"You're not getting it, Lily," James informed. "You are the first and only of your kind. You will never have a shadow to try and escape from underneath, no sins of the blood to repeat or repay. Every step, every wave of your wand is a first that will fashion to mold what all following you will be cast from: brilliance, resolve, talent, beauty, and compassion. I assure you, Lily, most wizarding lineages would be lucky to lay claim to but a single of those qualities, and you'll be the progenitor, the one blessed with all of them. That much I can be certain of."

Lily was completely taken aback. Always feeling as though she would never fit comfortably in her own skin, Lily was constantly conflicted with the fear she would always be too much of a witch to ever go back to the Muggle world and too long a Muggle to ever grasp the world of a Wizard. Striving with an unrelenting thirst to prove herself to everyone, Lily had made sure the bar was always out of reach so she would be forced to attempt even more with each leap she took.

All the praise of her professors, her peers, and even her pride had never offered the respect and sincerity James had just offered, and she didn't think he would ever know that.

"So," Lily broke the silence. "You're suggesting I keep my name when I marry?"

"Wouldn't go that far." James made an exaggerated disgusted face for effect.

"Oh, I can be a progenitor but not a surname!" Lily tried to be offended.

"I'm just saying it makes it harder for poor blokes like me looking to carry on the family name if we have all these women looking to start their own," James reasoned with a laugh Lily could share.

Lily looked at James more fondly than she probably ever had before.

"You know, this isn't the gallant, overconfident James Potter all the Gryffindor have come to know," Lily observed as she started to hug her knees. "What would everyone say if they saw their House Quidditch Captain had a side to him that was sensitive and vulnerable?"

James blushed at this a little before he started to run his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, I know, this really isn't me," James stated apologetically, but Lily just started to shake her head.

"Oh no, it is," Lily assured grin. "I just think _this_ is more you than that prat you pass yourself off as."

"I've been working at that," James said sheepishly.

"I've noticed," Lily nodded. A silence hung between them as both Lily and James looked away from one another.

They wondered what happened next.

* * * 

Courtesy of whatever the hell it was Sirius and Peter had managed to brew, half of the Gryffindors were completely drunk. Having a slight amount of decency between them, Sirius and Peter decreed that no one under 5th year would be allowed to take a drink of the exceptionally potent liquor they had concocted. Sitting on a couch off to the side, Remus mused over the inebriated antics of his housemates. After having her fill of dancing, Arabella sank down next to Remus, panting slightly.

"Why aren't you dancing?" Arabella demanded with a grin as she rested her head on Remus's shoulder.

"Because I don't have a curvy figure to compensate for my utter lack of rhythm," Remus rationalized.

"Okay, why aren't you drinking?" Arabella slurred.

"I've just got a dark side to keep at bay, love." Remus tried to sound cooler than he actually felt and figured Arabella wasn't really buying into it.

"You're not very fun," Arabella observed with a giggle.

"Well, you're not very sober so I won't take it to heart," Remus grinned as Arabella fell into fits of obnoxious laughter. Remus decided that she was more than amusing to watch like this.

"You know who _is_ fun?" Arabella slurred. "James," Remus guessed under his breath.

"JAMES!" Arabella declared. "I bet _he’d_ dance with me! Maybe even go for a snog, hmm?"

"Hmm, I don't think you should count your dragons before they've hatched, Arabella," Remus sighed gently. He felt horrible that Arabella fancied James as much as she did. For his part, Remus had been careful not to outright encourage Arabella's pursuit of James but there was little he could say aside from that which wouldn't betray the confidence of his friend. It was true that James hadn't been trying to lead her on, but his lack of decisiveness with Lily provided a false hope whether he meant to or not.

"I think I'm going to go find James," Arabella announced as she staggered to her feet and came close to tipping over. Remus leapt after her, grabbing a hold of the girl to steady her. Arabella looked as though she had suddenly been struck horribly ill.

"I think we'll be finding you a bathroom," Remus groaned as he threw his arms around Arabella and started to lead her toward the stairs.

They passed by Sirius, who was trying his damnedest to do a handstand at the moment for the benefit of some of his housemates. Kicking Sirius hard enough in the torso to cause him to crash into the ground pathetically sprawled about, Sirius laid there laughing as he looked over to Remus.

"Hey, I almost had it there!" Sirius protested indignantly as the other Gryffindors were in hysterics.

"After I'm done spending half the night holding Arabella's hair, I'm coming down here and beating your and Peter's arses," Remus informed curtly as he helped Arabella up the stairs. Remus could only pray things didn't get too out of hand while both he and Lily were gone and sighed at how cross their Prefect would be once she rejoined the party.

* * *

Sitting alone in the Gryffindor attic, Lily was the first to glance back at James. Forearm rested over a knee, James stared into the vast mosaic of stars with a soft blue light looking back. His hand ran through the length of his hair, something Lily had picked up was a nervous twitch. Absorbed in whatever thoughts he was entertaining, James’s expression reminded Lily of someone lost to some stretch of ocean who was always keeping his eyes open for the first signs of land. It was then she saw James Potter for the first time, along with everything he struggled to keep hold of and everything he tried to keep at bay.

As James brought his wand hand down from his head, Lily took it into her own.

It was his expression that changed first. Eyes wide, but not looking at her, Lily found her analogy of the sea to be even more true as James appeared to have just seen whatever it was he had been long searching for. It was with a blink he turned back to her and Lily saw something in James's eyes that she had never seen before and wasn't sure she'd ever see again.

* * * 

Caught in a waking dream, James felt himself gently squeeze Lily's hand as he realized he had never seen her look more beautiful to him than at that moment. She wasn't gliding down a corridor like an embodiment of grace or laughing with every last strand of her coppery hair flowing harmoniously about or even regal and brilliant as she preformed perfectly in a lesson.

In fact, Lily had never looked more insecure, vulnerable, or disoriented as she did just then.

Figuring he wasn't in a much better state himself, James started to act in the only way he could think to, the only way he wanted to. Pulling her hand slightly towards him, James forced Lily to lean in slightly as he moved to meet her part way. Raising his other hand to the side of her face, James guided Lily closer to him, never once seeing a hint of hesitation or resistance flicker over her transfixed expression. And once Lily's beautiful green eyes slowly fell shut, James closed his own and met her lips with his.

Her mouth opened with either a gasp or a sigh and James took this as an invitation to deepen the kiss. Although this was not his first kiss, it was hard to remember what they could have been like before it. The only thing James could say for certain was that he knew the rapture and contentment he was experiencing with Lily Evans had never been a part of all the ones before. And for possibly the simplest form of physical intimacy two people could share, James had never felt anything more gratifying in all his life.

Still holding her with both his hands, James realized the thing that would be most important about this kiss in whatever would come after it was not that he had been the first to kiss her.

But that she had kissed him back.

* * *


	9. Deperire

Usual Disclaimer: All the characters (well almost all of them) are property of J.K. Rowling and I’m merely borrowing her brilliance and her world with no claim to it at all. I’d like to thank the Harry Potter Lexicon in particular since they’re help in filling in the holes of Ms. Rowling’s world has been invaluable to making this story as authentic as possible. Please look them up sometime. 

 

As for why I chose to focus on the Lily and James era of things? Well the characters aren’t so deeply established (for the most part) that I have to worry about stepping over Ms. Rowling’s toes and perverting her thoughtful creations beyond necessity. I hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

 

_NOTE: Pensieve was originally written pre- OotP and HPB nor has it been amended to fit the canon of either the 5th or 6th Book. I have no intention of rewriting this to include JKR’s more recent books and interviews since it is fanfiction. If you are a canon conservative you may wish to read something else, but for those of you who don’t mind a few discrepancies I hope you enjoy reading Pensieve as much as I have writing it_

  
**~ Deperire ~**

By: _Oy! Angelina_   
Beta by: _Taiyourshoes_

* * *

Passion coursed through Lily and James with the vitality of a flame over dry wood, consuming and intensifying. At some point during the kiss, James had released the side of Lily's face to use both his hands to pull her closer to him. Practically cradling Lily against him, James began to run his hand over her face, through her hair, and along the length of her frame. Although overwhelmed in his euphoric moment with Lily Evans, James refused to move his hands anywhere that would be considered a violation of trust.

For her part, one of Lily's hands roamed aimlessly around his back as if afraid he would suddenly pull away while the other gripped his arm tightly as though to hold on. Soft moans in the forms of breaths passed between their lips and after a few minutes of this, the two finally broke apart.

At first they did nothing but breathe and stare into one another's faces. James kept tracing Lily's features with his fingertips as he gazed at her as though he had never seen anything like her before. Slowly, Lily propped herself up on one of her arms, still fixated on James. It was in a shaky breath that she finally broke the silence.

"That was…" Lily breathed as though a compliment. She recognized how stupid it sounded, but so are most exchanges of dialogue before and after a first amazing kiss.

"Yeah," James agreed as he nuzzled against her neck before slowly kissing it. Lily closed her eyes, feeling herself being pulled back into the eagerness of the moment that had never quite passed. She heard James speak in whispers near her ear.

"Two months. That's how long I've been wishing and agonizing over whether this would happen," James confessed. "It was worth it. I would have waited longer."

Lily felt herself blushing. The things James was doing to her physically and emotionally were catching the words in her throat.

"When did you first realize?" she asked, mind spinning.

"The first night back," James replied hoarsely. "I watched you for eight hours. I couldn't stop thinking about you throughout the entire night and never could after."

Reeling, Lily felt James against the nape of her neck, shifting hair out of his way. His words only barely registered with her.

"But how could you?" Lily tried to focus. "How could you have been there? I could never figure it out." That had been the mystery in Lily's mind and though she had been tempted more than once to ask James where he had been hiding, she restrained herself out of fear of what it would do to their tentative friendship.

James was so enraptured with kissing and caressing Lily that he almost told her about the invisibility cloak. Licking his lips, and Lily's neck in the process, James wondered if he should - if he could? So much of what the Marauders did depended on the invisibility cloak and the cloak was only effective so long as no one knew it existed. Lily was still a prefect and James was unsure of how she would use the information if given to her. What if revealing the existence of the cloak betrayed Remus or led Lily to his dangerous secret? What if it betrayed all of his friends? Realizing that he couldn't tell Lily, James hoped she wouldn't pursue the subject.

"Is it important to know that?" James breathed, running his lips over her flesh.

"Yes," Lily gasped.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because then I'll know."

"Know?"

"That you trust me with all the things in your life that you trust Sirius and Remus and Peter with."

James pulled away from Lily's neck to look into her eyes while stroking the side of her face. He stared at her with a pleading expression.

"Please, I will tell you anything and everything about me," James vowed, "but don't ask me to tell you about things that involve my friends. Don't ask for secrets that aren't mine to give."

Lily's eyes were locked on James, studying his expression, studying his sincerity. Slowly, she pulled away from his embrace, away from him. James made no effort to hold her there but felt her slip out, literally, beneath his touch.

"And in the end, I'll always be the opposition," Lily said more to herself than James. "I will always be a prefect first and foremost." James breathed deeply at this, feeling as though the ground just gave way.

"I just _can’t_ incriminate my friends, Lily," James explained. "Anything, _anything_ about me is yours to know. Please don't ask me to betray the trust of the three most important people in my life just so I can earn the trust of the person I love."

That final word hung in the air, freezing both Lily and James in a gaping silence. Had he meant it? This was a thought both their minds struggled with. Swallowing hard, James took Lily's face into his hand once more.

"I'm in love with you," James decided in a whisper.

Lily pulled away, staggering to her feet. James followed right after her, close enough to watch the tear race from her eye but not near enough to catch it.

"But you don't trust me," Lily nodded, with her lip quivering as she ran for the door. Panicked at how sharply all their emotions had just turned, James threw himself after Lily, slamming the door shut just as she had started to open it.

Lily turned to face James, to tell him to let her leave, but the words were blocked with James's mouth, pressing her into the door as he embraced her again.

She felt him kiss her.

She felt herself kiss him in return.

The kiss was as potent as the first they had shared but all the emotions behind it were different. It was needy, anxious, and trying frantically to scream something at the both of them. While the first kiss felt as though it would go on forever, this one felt like it would be the last of its kind.

Lily was crying now.

"James, please," Lily sobbed quietly. "It can't work like this."

James edged only slightly back, feeling defeat looming over him, but refusing to give up just yet.

"It can," James insisted as he kept kissing her in short but heartfelt gestures. He began to kiss the tears from her face as they made their way from her eyes.

"But you can't even tell me something I have the right to know. What you did was an invasion of my privacy before and I am trying to understand you, James, but how can I when so many things between us are shrouded in secrecy and lies?" Lily pleaded. "How can I trust you?"

"Can't you just trust this?" As the desperation hit his voice, James felt himself start to cry. He had to make her understand; they were so close to understanding each other. "It was like I woke up one day and my whole world turned around you. And the scariest part about that was I couldn't remember it being any other way. I know I haven't always shown it, but there were reasons, complicated reasons that are meaningless to me now. And I'm a wreck because of it all!"

James bore his eyes into Lily's.

"You couldn't do this to me, Lily, if I didn't mean everything I said. You wouldn't have this kind power over me otherwise."

Still crying, Lily pushed James away from her, unable to look at him as the tears poured to the floor.

"The easiest thing to forget, James, is never to give someone the power to control you." Lily broke down.

The words of Severus Snape that stung Lily were bitterer than the tears in her eyes as she fled down the stairs. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Lily raced back down to the party and hoped James wouldn't follow.

James was stunned for a moment, wracked with grief, rejection, and loss. If he listened to his mind, James knew that following Lily would probably accomplish little aside from upsetting her more. If he listened to his heart, James would do everything to reclaim the frail moment they had lost which he knew should have always belonged to them. Tired of listening to the thing which had kept him at bay for two months, James listened to his heart. And though he had heard Lily's parting advice, James didn't care if Lily had the power to control him.

Because, the simple truth of the matter was, Lily had always had that power over him.

* * *

James chased Lily down to the party, jerking to a halt at the base of the stairs. It was only the most fleeting of social mores that prevented him for screaming after her and pursuing the conversation she had abandoned because James knew dragging all the Gryffindor common room into their discussion would win no points with Lily. Trying to duck around anyone who approached him, James followed Lily into the thicket of the bash with every intention of carrying her off if he need to. Before he could reach Lily, Peter, who was not particularly sober looking, grabbed a hold of James's robes and forced him to stay in place.

"Prongs!" Peter exclaimed. "Turns out it _was_ alcohol me and Sirius made! Just a sniff of it is more than enough to get you pissed. Need to remember this one!"

"Peter, let go!" James insisted, glancing over his shoulder to make sure he wouldn't lose track of Lily. "I'm really busy at the moment!"

"Okay, it'll only take a second," Peter agreed with a slight slur. "I just wanted to thank you for distracting Lily for us while we got this party _really_ going!"

Peter had James's attention now.

"WHAT?!" The alarm sprang into James's voice. He shot a helpless look back at Lily, who was more than aware that most of Gryffindor was fairly inebriated. She turned accusingly towards James with a demanding expression.

"What's going on here?" Lily was completely irritable. James could only shake his head in reply. It was then that Sirius approached the three.

"Uh-oh!" Sirius laughed as he saw Lily. "Guess we'll be calling things quits then."

"Your handiwork, Black?" Lily stated coldly. She was completely emotionally drained from James, and the last thing she needed was to try to get a bunch of drunken teenagers back under control.

"Peter helped!" Sirius said defensively.

"And what a help he was," Lily spat before addressing the rest of the Gryffindors. "Alright, party's over! Stagger back to your beds right this instance before I'm liable to take the pillows off them and smother the lot of you!"

The sober members of the House groaned and did what their Prefect said as quickly and as disgruntled as they could. Those who were drunk took a little longer to begin clearing out. Sirius made a face at Lily.

" _Well_ , _thank you_ _very much_ ," Sirius commented sarcastically. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Brought it on yourselves, I'm afraid," Lily informed.

"Whatever," Peter rolled his eyes, before turning to James. "You couldn't have kept her busy any longer than this?"

"Oh no." James felt the blood drain from his face as panic seized him.

"Kept me busy?" Lily repeated quietly as she faced James.

"Yeah," Sirius, who was more than an obnoxious drunk, affirmed. "We had to figure out _something_ to get you out of here long enough to have a little fun. You need to loosen up, Lily, you'll live longer."

"Lily, I had no idea," James pleaded as he tried to pull himself out of Peter's grip. "I didn't even know they were plotting all this!"

Lily could only stare at James as she felt the tears run down her face. All his talk about his loyalty to friends, how he was so desperate to keep her there with him, it was all a means to an end.

He had even said he loved her.

"Nicely played, Potter," Lily croaked as she ran off toward the Fat Lady Portrait. She could hear James calling after her, apparently still struggling to get out from under Peter's grip. Stepping through the threshold to the dormitories, Lily turned, tear streaked, to the Fat Lady Portrait.

"No one is to leave the dorms unless it's morning or an emergency, whichever comes first," Lily told the plump woman guarding the doorway. "The password for tonight is 'Two Months'."

"Well, alright," the Fat Lady shrugged.

"Goodnight then," Lily said as she sprinted out into the school just after ten.

_* * *_

"Oh man. I made Lily cry," Sirius frowned, sincerely upset. "I'm such a prat."

"You don't even know the _half_ of it!" James hissed through his teeth as he wrenched out of Peter's hand and raced over to the portrait. After arguing for five minutes with the Fat Lady to let him out, James realized that there was no way he would be leaving the dorms that night and stormed over to his friends.

"Why did you tell her all that?" James demanded.

"Because it's true," Peter apologetically shrugged. "Moony sent her up after you so we could pass the bottle around a bit. We thought the most it would do was irk her. Didn't mean to make her cry."

James collapsed into the nearest chair. He felt sick. He had done a fine enough job driving Lily off because he was so insistent upon protecting the wankers he called friends, only to have them convince her that everything he had said and done was only a diversion.

"What's wrong, Prongs?" Sirius sat on the arm of James’s chair and put a hand on his shoulder. "She's mad at us this time, not you."

James threw Sirius’s hand off him and gripped onto him with his own.

"You toe-rag," James spat. "I'm _in love_ with her! I told her that and now, because you and Peter had to pull this _brilliant_ stunt of yours, she thinks everything I confessed was one big lie!"

"No James, you're confused, _Padfoot’s_ in love with her," Peter corrected helpfully.

"No, Sirius just wanted something he couldn't have," James replied. "And he had to take me down with him."

 James released Sirius and turned back toward the dormitory stairs. He was too afraid of what more he would say or do to his friends if he remained amongst them any longer.

Breaking into Lily's room once more, James paced the floorboards, sitting down occasionally only to get back up again. He was determined to spend the entire night waiting for Lily to come back if that’s what it took to explain things to her. He wouldn't leave until she listened, until she believed him.

Distraught was an understatement for James Potter.

* * *

After some aimless wandering around the castle, Lily found herself in the Prefects’ bathroom (which was a modest way to describe the spa-like accommodations). She lay, defeated and depressed, on one of the couches in the plush lounge right near the entrance, sniffling back the tears she had been crying for hours. Lily felt stupid and used, vowing never to forgive James and his friends for their cruel prank on her. Those were the good moments for Lily.

The bad ones were when she remembered the kiss.

Sighing, Lily turned over on the couch so she was facing into a cushion. She didn't even have the strength to cry anymore. Lily debated going back to her room and trying to sleep for the night, but didn't want to chance it. She was certain James would try to confront her, try to persuade her into believing him like she most desperately wanted to. She couldn't put herself through that right now and decided she would just fall asleep on the couch she was presently occupying and sort through the shambles of her life in the morning.

Lily was so busy feeling sorry for herself, she wasn't aware that Severus Snape had been peering down at her with quizzically narrowed eyed.  "What are you doing here, Evans?" 

The meager amount of sympathy lacing his voice was the best, Lily guessed, he could muster, considering it was Snape. She glanced at him over her shoulder. His hair was damp and there was a slight flush to his usual pallor. She gathered he had just finished with a bath.

"Celebrating a _fabulous_ Gryffindor victory," Lily muttered sarcastically.

"Always thought your House was odd," Snape replied. Lily didn't know if she was up to talking with Snape and had hoped he would have taken her comment as a request to leave. Apparently, it just invited more of his typical dry banter.

"Though it's against all my better judgment to ask, what's wrong?" Snape's voice was hushed.

Lily was tempted to try and unburden herself. She figured if anyone could understand how bad James and his friends were capable of being it would be Severus, but she decided against it, as Lily doubted either she or Snape would be very comfortable with the idea of her crying in front of him.

"I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you," Lily sighed. Snape nodded.

"Just as well. I'm not all that accustom to dealing with sobbing women anyway," Snape shrugged. "Come now, I'll escort you to your dormitory."

"No, I'll be staying here for the evening," Lily disagreed as she settled into the couch deeper.

"That serious then?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "You're House _must_ be in a sad state if they can drive their Prefect out on a rail."

"As thoroughly enlightening as your evaluations of my service as a Prefect is, Severus, I'm afraid my ability to take most things graciously is completely exhausted for the evening," Lily grumbled curtly. Snape sounded as though he had just snorted some air through his nose in frustration.

"Alright, enough of this foolishness, Evans, on your feet," Snape ordered. Lily rolled over to glare at him.

"Pardon me?" Lily's eyes were as cold as his voice.

"You. Heard. Me." Snape replied, making it clear that if anyone would be doing the intimidating in this conversation it would be him. "You are in for quite a disappointment if you think I'm going to allow you to spend the remainder of the night mopping on a sofa in the Prefect bathroom. Now I strongly suggest you pull yourself together enough to follow me before I have to embarrass the both of us and drag you along."

Gathering from Snape's expression that he had every intention of doing just as he had threatened, Lily pulled herself into a seated position and then to her feet with an unhappy sigh. Snape nodded approvingly and led the way out.

Deflating at the thought of having to go back to her dorm and face James, Lily allowed Snape to lead her through the castle, staring more at her feet than where she was going. It took her a few minutes to realize that they were nowhere in the vicinity of Gryffindor tower.

"Where are we going?" Lily pressed. Snape stopped walking to face her.

"To my quarters," he replied ambiguously. "You expressed little interest in returning to your own room and I'm not about to let you try what respect you've earned from me by hiding in the bathroom like a sobbing school girl."

"But I _am_ a sobbing school girl," Lily observed with a humorless laugh.

"If that's all the credit you care to give yourself," Snape stated aloofly. "If you'd like to go back to your own room that's fine."

"No," Lily resisted quickly. 

Even if it was only for a while, Lily decided she'd rather stay with Snape than contend with James. As condescending as Snape could be, Lily would much rather handle that than allow her emotions to be manipulated any further.

"Very well." Snape returned to walking.

Led into the dungeons of the castle, Lily observed the uninviting surroundings and wondered how the Slytherins could stand to live in an area so barren of all feeling or depth. Lily guessed that if most of the Slytherin were half like Severus, such thoughts probably never crossed their minds when they entered the bowels of Hogwarts. Stopping in front of a door, Snape removed his wand and performed a gesture. An audible click echoed through the corridor. Snape gave a hesitant glance to Lily before he sighed and opened his mouth to recite the password.

"Fluffywig." Another loud click.

Lily snorted a laugh and Snape appeared to be startled by the noise. He rolled his eyes as Lily's lit up slightly.

"'Fluffywig'?" Lily questioned in an amused voice that Snape in no way shared.

"Passwords are for security, Evans," Snape informed in a cross, but flustered voice. "I think you have just proven my point that no one would suspect _that_ to be the access phrase to my room." Snape removed a key with a coiled serpent for a handle and inserted it into the lock.

"Paranoid a bit?" Lily observing the third measure Snape employed to secure his room.

"It breeds longevity overall, Evans," Snape informed. "I, for one, don't have problems with people spying on me." That sentence cut into Lily.

"I think I'm just envious is all," Lily muttered. 

Snape opened the door and stepped aside to allow her in. Taking a quick survey of the quarters, Lily noticed almost every spare inch of space contained potion supplies and equipment. Several cauldrons were in a low simmer. A slight haze blanketed the air and the various odors of the potions brewing were suppressed under the thick scent of incense. Although containing far more items in it, Lily decided that Snape's room was kept in an even more immaculate order than her own.

Gesturing toward a bed for her to sit upon, Snape busied himself with some vials set up on the top of his desk. Judging from the perfect condition of his bed, Lily had to wonder if Snape had even slept in it once all term as she sat down.

"So what exactly do you do in here?" Lily glanced around. She couldn't imagine what use he'd have for making all these different potions.

"Occupy my time," Snape stated simply enough as he exchanged the fluid in one beaker to another before bringing it over to Lily and holding it out for her. "Here's something that should ease your hysterics."

Lily wondered how Snape always managed to be ever the charmer. Eyeing the crystal container suspiciously, Lily turned her gaze toward Snape.

"What is it, exactly?" Lily wondered aloud.

"A Placid Potion we learned during 4th Year," Snape informed. Lily still made no move to take the drink from him. Growing irritable, a sarcastic sneer forced itself over Snape's face. "As tempting as it may be to sedate and violate you, Evans, I suppose I'll just have to restrain myself. Otherwise I wouldn't be further privy to your vivid assassinations of my character."

Embarrassed, Lily accepted the vial and drank it in a single swallow before handing it back to Snape.

"My apologies," Lily sighed sincerely.

"Considering how distraught you are, I'll turn a blind eye," Snape nodded as he rinsed the vial in a small sink and took a chair on an angle from Lily.

"I shouldn't be burdening you like this." Lily averted her eyes. "It's unfair."

"There are a great many things in this life, Evans, that are unfair. This falls somewhere short of an inconvenience," Snape replied directly.

"Well, it's just so late," Lily observed.

"I rarely sleep," Snape assured. "I'd have either studied or dabbled in here if I hadn't come across you."

"Oh, but then you wouldn't have been able to catch me at my absolute worst," Lily said as she pulled her hair behind her shoulders.

"If you must appease your ego, you’re typically stunning," Snape informed. As tactless and harsh as Severus could be, Lily derived a certain amount of comfort from Snape's slant on social etiquette. At least she was always assured he was honest. "I very much doubt you came upon your presently disheveled state without some form of assistance." He raised his eyebrows, curious to see how she would reply.

"So, what's going on with professional Quidditch these days?" Lily deflected. Snape took this as a hint that the topic was closed.

"I hear the Cannons have fair odds at the cup," Snape updated.

Snape and Lily talked for hours until her responses grew infrequent and her eyelids heavy. Around three in the morning she had nodded off on the top of Snape's bed. Abandoning her beneath a spare blanket, Snape reviewed his notes from History of Magic and ignored Lily for the remainder of the evening.

* * *

A little after dawn, James left Lily's room, closing the door behind him. After waiting for Lily to return for over eight hours, a tired and broken James needed to take a break. Still in his Quidditch uniform, James was resolved to take a shower and do some serious thinking for a couple of hours. Hopefully Lily would be at breakfast in the Great Hall and hopefully she would listen. He would spend the entire day trying to make her listen because that night he and the other Marauders would be leaving for the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade to be with Remus.

After a night spent mostly brooding (since there was little else to do), James was committed to still being cross with Sirius, Peter, and Remus for what they had done to him. However, since it was an unwitting sabotage of his chances with Lily, James felt it wasn't worth the price of their overall friendships together. In the end, the other Marauders were merely fortunate that James valued the philosophy of saving any true animosity or resentment for those who deliberately acted in malice. Still, James felt he reserved the right to be more than pissed for the next few days or until they produced a proper apology.

James was about to enter into the bedroom he shared with his friends for a shower before he remembered his letter to Frank Longbottom. With everything that had happened last night and all James expected to be dealing with over the next few days, he figured it could be a week before he would actually get around to composing a decent letter. With a worn sigh, James made his way up to the attic where he had left his stationary supplies and put some fresh ink on his quill. James recalled how he had needed that one sincere thing in his life to be able to string all the other events in it together and now felt as though he had found it. With a sheet of parchment before him, James wrote.

* * *

_Dear Frank and everyone:_

__

_I know you all must be curious as to what has become of the last of the Potter line in recent days so I'll take the time to update you now. We had our first of hopefully many victories for the Quidditch season against Slytherin yesterday, which I am still team captain of. Although I'm at the top of my class in virtually every subject, Transfiguration is the one I excel at most and Defense Against the Dark Arts remains my favorite._

_Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew continue to be my best friends after five years and more than one test of my patience. I have discovered most recently that friendship is more than just good times and shared laughs and is nothing without forgiveness and honesty. While I've more than taken advantage of the former, I've found that the latter part of these stipulations a hard lesson to learn._

_I started this summer with a fear that a gap would grow in the relationship between my best friend and myself. I was distraught with the idea that someone would come along and start to push Sirius from my life and to my dismay I found I was absolutely justified in my concern. I had pushed Sirius away. What is it about growing up that makes it impossible to confide in those closest to you? Is it because we gradually accumulate more and darker secrets or that we believe we're the only ones who are burdened by them? What rift that has appeared between Sirius and I can only be described with the proverbs of "no good deed goes unpunished" and "the road to Hell is paved in good intention," because that was what had been on my mind as of late: how to do right by my friend. The thing I failed to realize was that the best thing I could have done as a friend to Sirius was allow him to be a friend to me. In time, I will remedy this situation, but only after I can find the strength and the heart to sincerely want to._

_As for your post script, Frank, there is someone special in my life presently; however, I appear to be afflicted by the grievous curse upon the men of my family that my father once described:_

_We're bloody idiots when it comes to women._

_When I was about twelve and had just finished telling my dad about this redheaded girl I had been teasing all year during my 1st year at Hogwarts, he enlightened me as to how all the Potter men have this uncanny ability to be horrible prats and behave in the complete opposite of how they should once a lady catches their eye. He preceded to explain how, when courting my mother, he had somehow worked it into his mind that dating her sister while tormenting her all hours was the fastest means to win her affections. I remember thinking how much of a moron my father was for acting so insanely stupid in front of the woman he supposedly adored and found it miraculous I had even been born. Of course, this was from a mind that would, four years later, consider questionable uses of family heirlooms and dropping crates of lit firecrackers upon his love's head lost arts of romance._

_Good to know us Potters are men of tradition, eh?_

_Yes, I'm in love and she's wonderful in every way imaginable. She's been described to have the beauty of a veela, the wisdom of a sphinx, and Charms beyond anything magic has yet to produce. She is my equal, and not because we share all these perfectly similar qualities, but because she challenges me and forces me to constantly decide who I am and what life James Potter should be making for himself. She is my missing half, not for all the reasons we are the same but for every last reason we are different. Every last part of my character I have either neglected or done without, she embodies and simply being around her makes me a better man. Sadly, through misunderstandings and sheer blunders on my part, she isn't speaking to me and I feel possibly more lost to this world than ever in my life._

_After all, how can we ever go back to being half a person once we've finally been made whole?_

_As I conclude my letter, I'll recall something my mother rationalized for me when I told her what my father had explained of their earliest steps in love. She said that while the things my father had done would be more than enough to drive any sane woman off, the measures and extremes he took to fix everything he had done was more than enough to lure any sane woman back. She told me Potters were born under a bad sign in respects to dating but were truly blessed when it came time to find their true loves. She assured me I would act the fool and feel twice as dumb over a woman once in my life, and she would be the one I would love forever. What should comfort me, she had said, is it wouldn't be true love if it were any other way. The only thing I can quote directly of both my mother and father is this:_

_"The only way a Potter can love someone is through 'Deperire': to be hopelessly in love with them."_

_The person I love is difficult, stubborn, emotional, and is the only person I'm willing to wait up for all night just so she can yell at me some more. I'd wash my hands of all this if I wasn't sure that when she's not too busy hating me, she loves me too. Thankfully and tragically, I have fallen hopelessly in love with Lily Evans._

_I suppose I'll have to do something about that, then._

_Deperire,_

__

_James Potter_

__

* * *

I think this has always been one of my more favorite chapters of _Pensieve_.  I guess I just like how sincere, vulnerable, and unpredictable the course of true love can be and wanted to illustrate that.  Also, I get tired of fics that throw our beloved coupled together too soon.  Thanks for (re)reading everyone, I do appreciate it J

 

In other news, _Snogwarts; A Parody_ got itself a nod from the Hourglass Awards.  Thanks to those who nominated me and show your support if you think it’s the better fic.

 

Finally, I’ve started posting chapters from my original novel series _Woven_ at Fictionpress.net.  So if you’re curious as to how I occupy myself outside of HP fanon do check it out and leave a review.  I plan on using reader response as a selling point to publishers when I submit a manuscript to them.

Take a look - http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2070890

Deperire,

Courtney


	10. The Opposition

Usual Disclaimer: All the characters (well almost all of them) are property of J.K. Rowling and I’m merely borrowing her brilliance and her world with no claim to it at all. I’d like to thank the Harry Potter Lexicon in particular since they’re help in filling in the holes of Ms. Rowling’s world has been invaluable to making this story as authentic as possible. Please look them up sometime. 

As for why I chose to focus on the Lily and James era of things? Well the characters aren’t so deeply established (for the most part) that I have to worry about stepping over Ms. Rowling’s toes and perverting her thoughtful creations beyond necessity. I hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

_NOTE: Pensieve was originally written pre- OotP and HPB nor has it been amended to fit the canon of either the 5th or 6th Book. I have no intention of rewriting this to include JKR’s more recent books and interviews since it is fanfiction. If you are a canon conservative you may wish to read something else, but for those of you who don’t mind a few discrepancies I hope you enjoy reading Pensieve as much as I have writing it_

~ **The Opposition** ~

 By: _Oy! Angelina_

Beta by:  _Taiyourshoes_

* * *

After returning from the owlry to send out Frank's letter (and taking a quick look about for Lily), James finally entered the boys' dormitory and headed to his room. He noticed Remus's bed appeared to be as vacant and unused as his own, prompting James to recall that he hadn’t seen much of his friend following his visit to the attic. Sirius and Peter were each sprawled across their beds, fully clothed and completely unconscious in the wake of their binge drinking. Resisting the urge to kick both Padfoot and Wormtail, James gathered up a fresh change of clothes and made his way to the bathroom.

He found Remus in there shaving, mostly out of formality.

"Don't you look good?" Remus commented sarcastically as he swished the razor blade under the pool of water at the bottom of the sink.

James said nothing as he threw his things over by the showers and angrily began to brush his teeth. Remus had been spared his emotional outburst with Sirius and Peter last night because he had been off doing whatever it was he had done all night. Though, his ignorance of the reason behind James's foul mood only added fuel to the fire as far as James was concerned.

Remus took another glance at James before a questioning expression overtook his face.

"James, tell me something…" Remus started. "If you weren't in your bed all night and you're wearing the same thing you were yesterday, where were you?"

"Lily's room," James grunted through his teeth with his toothbrush between them. Remus jerked, drawing a little blood from his cheek. Spinning on heel, he turned to his friend, wide eyed."

" _James_!" Remus gasped, half shocked, half impressed.

James spit out into the sink and glared at Remus.

"Oh, _that’s_ what you think happened?" James chuckled with a humorless laugh. "Hmm, well possibly something along those lines may have transpired if a certain set of extraneous variables hadn't seen fit to introduce themselves into the equations. We'll call them Moony, Padfoot, and Wormtail, for sake of reference."

Remus stared at James with a more than perturbed expression.

"What are you going on about, James?" Remus put his razor down and certainly out of his friend's reach.

"So, which of you geniuses decided that I would make for an excellent _distraction_ for Lily?" James asked pointedly. Remus went pale and felt his gaze advert to the side. James nodded.

"Ah." James resumed brushing his teeth.

"What happened, James?" Remus pressed. James spat into the sink again, this time with a little blood from how furiously he'd been brushing.

"Sirius and Peter told Lily that I was supposed to distract her while they got half of Gryffindor drunk," James hissed. "You'll be pleased to know she's back to hating me. This time, however, she has a pretty good reason behind it."

Remus splashed some cold water on his face, rinsing off the lather and sending a shock to his system. Sighing, he looked back at James, half drenched.

"Why would this make me happy?" Remus groaned. "Yes, it was technically my idea. I suggested that Lily go up and find you, but not on Sirius and Peter's behalf. I thought that if the two of you got yourselves alone for a bit maybe you'd come to whatever understanding you appeared to be on the verge of. It just happened to benefit our other friends, as well, if she was out of the common room."

"So you didn't send Lily up there just so Sirius and Peter could get the House smashed?" James asked flat out.

"I knew they were plotting something to that effect," Remus shrugged apologetically as he stared at his feet. "I figured I'd be helping all my friends with one stone. If I had known something this bad would have amounted from it, I wouldn't have done a thing, James. You know that."

James judged Remus's expression with hard eyes. Making a quick evaluation of Remus's overall character, James decided he was probably being sincere.

"Yeah, I know," James sighed as he finished up brushing. Remus put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll talk to Lily, explain everything away," Remus informed. "This is my fault, no reason you should take the blame for any of it."

James shook his head as he wiped his mouth.

"I don't think it's quite that simple," James replied. "You'd only be solving half the problem for me."

"What _happened_ James?" Remus asked a second time, hoping he'd get a better account of what he had missed last night. James leaned against the sink and hung his head awkwardly.

"I kissed Lily. She kissed me back," James explained. Remus's eyes went wide but he said nothing to interrupt. "We were getting along _so well_ , but then I decided that I couldn't trust Lily as far as I could pitch her Prefect badge and I threw up a wall between us. I realized I was a prat for it and was about to try and fix it as best I could when Sirius and Peter had to start blabbing about how I was some sort of a diversion. Lily thought everything between us was a lie. Especially the part when I said I loved her."

Remus was blown away by all this and needed to lean on the sink as well.

"Wow," Remus breathed before looking at James. "Did you tell Sirius and Peter all this?"

"Screamed it, more appropriately," James nodded. "I'm not really on speaking terms with our other friends at the moment. They were wankers but they didn't know what they were doing. I'll get around to forgiving them, I suppose."

"How about me?" Remus questioned without looking at James.

"You apologized and feel terrible about it. I can't ask more from you, can I?" James shrugged before he gave Remus a cock-eyed expression. "So how come _you_ weren't in bed last night?" 

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Well, my evening fell just above yours," Remus reported bitterly. "I got to hold Arabella's golden locks while she regurgitated her own body weight off that swill Sirius and Peter concocted, and she was one of the luckier ones! I must have made liters of Pepper-up Potion just to keep our friends out of trouble. Well, assuming Lily doesn't turn us all over to McGonagall, anyway. Frankly, we deserve no less."

It was then that Sirius staggered into the bathroom to shove his head under a sink and let the water wash over his head. Looking very much like hell, James would have felt sorry for his best friend under different circumstances. Pulling his soaked shoulder length hair from the sink, Sirius studied his friends with two accusing, bloodshot eyes.

"Could you guys keep it down?" Sirius requested curtly. "Some of us are waiting for the sweet release of death."

"Well, the line starts somewhere behind me," James glared at Sirius.

"Aren't _we_ in a mood?" Sirius observed, apparently in one all his own.

"No thanks to you and Peter," Remus snorted.

"Oh, now you're going to start on me, too," Sirius grunted. Remus and James exchanged irritable looks before they resumed glowering at Sirius.

"Of course I am," Remus's eyes flashed. "Arabella and half of Gryffindor spent the night sick as dogs because you and Peter are cheeky gits."

"Yeah, well, I feel their pain," Sirius grumbled in self-pity.

"I could arrange for you to feel some new pain," James offered with narrowed eyes. "Because of the _brilliant_ mess you and Wormtail made for me, Lily refused to even come back to the dorms last night."

Already sour and glaring, Sirius somehow managed to make his face turn darker as he stared at James.

"You know, I think I reserve more than a little right to be upset too, considering my best friend decided to announce he was in love with the girl I've been pining for," Sirius informed with a growl. "I can't knock your taste in women, Prongs, but you couldn't have picked, oh, let's say ANY OTHER GIRL TO DECLARE YOUR UNDYING LOVE TO?"

"I assure you, Sirius, if my position was as simple as you just described, we wouldn't even be bothering with this conversation," James frowned. "I've done nothing but try to respect your feelings for Lily since you've made them clear."

"Oh, don’t worry, it _really_ shows!" Sirius interrupted sarcastically.

"Don't be thick, Padfoot!" Remus jumped in. "James has been holding his tongue on the matter for months because he's so bloody loyal to you, but you've been so caught up in yourself and your crush on Lily that you couldn't even catch on!"

"Nice to know which side of the fence you're leaning on, Moony," Sirius observed.

"Oh, this isn't a matter of sides," Remus corrected. "You both should have had this conversation a long time ago, it's just a pity it had to come out in the open like this."

Sirius shifted his glare from Remus over to James.

"You know damn well how I feel about Lily Evans and how hard I've been trying to get into her good graces," Sirius said through his teeth. "This isn't some spot on the Quidditch team, _Prongs_! I'm not going to be able to just wish you luck if you steal her out from under me!"

"And this isn't like calling the last bottle of butterbeer either, _Padfoot_!" James insisted. "Just because you spoke up first doesn't make it the final word on the subject!"

"I don't want to compete with my _best friend_ over this." Sirius's voice was mixed between a warning and a plea. James sighed as he ran his hand through his hair, not taking his eyes off Sirius.

"Neither do I, Sirius," James felt his expression soften a bit, "but the only way that's going to happen is if you back down. Because I'm not."

"Because you can't or you won't?" Sirius asked as though it made a difference.

"I can't," James stated.

Sirius nodded as though this were the better of the two responses, but still gave James a pointed look.

"And what makes you so sure I'm the one who should wash his hands of this?" Sirius demanded.

James took a deep breath before locking eyes with his friend.

"Because Lily kissed me," James admitted.

Sirius was struck with utter disbelief at this admission.

"BLOODY HELL, JAMES!" Sirius roared, furious. He pointed his finger at James as though it were a wand. "I can't even _look_ at you right now!"

Sirius's head jerked towards Remus, who was privy to the same hostility as James.

"And what's _your_ position on the topic?" Sirius affirmed pointedly. "You condone this sort of backstabbing?"

Remus crossed his arms, angry that Sirius was turning this into a sides issue. The thing Remus had most wanted to avoid since he figured James and Sirius had feelings for the same girl was unfolding right before him and it was uglier than he could ever have anticipated. Still, Sirius had asked his stance and Remus felt obligated to reply.

"I stand by the opinion that you should talk about this reasonably and come to a proper decision, as friends should." Remus was tightlipped as he spoke.

" _Which would be…_?" Sirius baited.

"Fine," Remus determined there was little sense in sugar coating the matter. "I think you should bow out for James. I believe he's more sincere about his feelings for Lily and, most importantly, Lily seems to share them."

Sirius stared at James and Remus as though they had both teamed up to slap him in the face. Roused by all the shouting, Peter poked his head into the bathroom, sweaty with rings under his eyes. He stared at his fellow Marauders and they observed his presence as well.

"What's going on in here?" Peter croaked out, almost afraid to ask.

"We appear to be picking sides because _someone_ insists on being petty," Remus glared at Sirius.

"Umm, then whose side am I on?" Peter asked.

"Mine by default," Sirius informed since Remus appeared to be firmly rooted in James's camp and Peter had been apt to help him as of late.

"Do I have to?" Peter whined as he surveyed the room. "I mean, I'm getting the distinct impression that I don't want to be."

"Well, I'll let you work that out for yourselves," James decided as he headed off to the showers. The other three boys busied themselves as best they could to get dressed for the day and packed for that evening without a word to one another.

* * *

It was near seven in the morning when Lily awoke. She felt by no means better than she had before falling asleep but felt slightly more refreshed, all things considering. Blinking and slightly stretching, Lily realized where she was and felt more than embarrassed for nodding off in Snape's room. Acknowledging Lily's stirring, Snape closed a book in front of him and redirected his attention toward his guest.

"I'm sorry, Severus, I didn't realize I had fallen asleep." Lily hoped he didn't think she found him boring company because she had dozed off in mid-conversation.

"You shouldn't apologize so readily," Snape advised. "It gives people the impression you're either inept or lack control over your own actions."

_Good morning to you, too_ , Lily thought as she sat up. Not certain if she wanted to be exposed to unadulterated Snape first thing in the morning, Lily rose and folded the blanket she had been under.

"Well, in any case, thank you for putting me up for the evening," Lily offered. "I really do appreciate it; however, I think I should head off to the Prefects’ bathroom and see if I left a change of clothes there."

"I'll escort you," Snape offered as he gathered a few books in hand. "I meant to return these to the library today and it's along my way."

Lily and Snape exited his room after checking to see if anyone was in the passageway first. Not only was it completely inappropriate for a male and female student to share quarters throughout the night (even if it was merely platonic and they were both Prefects), it was also against school rules. That and Lily cringed at what fabricated accounts the school's rumor mill would undoubtedly produce. Snape had just finished locking his door when a couple Slytherin 1st years came upon the scene. They glanced from their Prefect, to Lily, then to one another. Lily turned slightly so they wouldn't see her blush as she tried not to think about what they were probably assuming.

"I'll have to ask you to go on without me, Evans. It appears I'm about to be detained by a few of my inquisitive housemates," Snape said under his breath, as his demeanor quickly became one of ice. Lily started to walk in the opposite direction; cognitive of what ugly scene was about to unfold.

Stalking over to his now nervous looking charges, Snape loomed over the eleven year olds like a dark omen. If the sight of their sneering Prefect wasn't enough to thoroughly intimidate the two Slytherin, the knowledge that Snape knew more hexes coming into Hogwarts and most students did coming out certainly did.

"If you were asked to recall anything interesting this morning, your replies would be…?" Snape’s eyes shifted over the two like a black pendulum.

"Nothing," the evidently bolder of the two choked out.

"How perceptive of you," Snape observed. "After all, who has the time to discuss a school Prefect's personal affairs when the Forbidden Forest is being searched from weed to werewolf for the remains of two unfortunately curious 1st year students?

The two Slytherins were paler than Snape had ever managed. Snape’s arm swept out of his robes, causing the 1st years to recoil in fright as he gestured down the hall.

"You. Are. Excused," Snape hissed, and the two Slytherins needed no further invitation. A faint grin tugged at Snape's lips as he made his way to the library.

* * *

Navigating their way to the Great Hall for breakfast, Peter had an intense headache that he wasn't sure he could attribute exclusively to his hangover in good conscience. Sirius had just got done explaining the situation to him and though shocked by everything he had heard, the last thing Peter wanted was to be warring with half his best friends.

"I say we all sit down with a large stack of pancakes and work out our differences as mates," Peter voted without Sirius even asking his opinion on the matter. Making a disgruntled noise, Sirius glared down at Peter.

"After what I just told you!?" Sirius exclaimed. "How do you expect me to just turn my cheek to all this?"

"I was kind of hoping graciously," Peter admitted pathetically. "We shouldn't be fighting like this! Come on Sirius, be the bigger man! Be happy for James, if he's truly your best friend like you claim him to be."

"You think James has been acting like a friend to me?" Sirius demanded.

"I think James has been acting like a loon lately, personally!" Peter replied. "In the very least he hasn't been himself. Ask yourself, Padfoot, what else could be ruffling our James's feathers so much unless he was really in love? Can you honestly say that Lily's had the same effect over _you_?"

Peter didn't know if that was the right thing so say and Sirius's grim silence as they entered the Great Hall did little to ease his mind. Dragging themselves over to the Gryffindor House table, the two boys found James and Remus already there and eating.

Sirius and James sat diagonally from one another and refused to make eye contact. Both Peter and Sirius helped themselves to some dry toast and unsweetened tea. They seemed to be positively exhausted, nauseous, and winced at the slightest elevation in noise

James hoped it was actually more horrible than it looked.

"Um, so are you guys not talking to me as well?" Peter stole a wary glance at Remus as he mumbled under his breath.

"For the time being, Peter," Remus affirmed while wolfing down his eggs.

"Because I'm with Sirius now?" Peter hesitantly questioned.

"No, because you were with Sirius _last night_ ," Remus corrected. "You damn near poisoned half of Gryffindor with your wretched mixture."

"Oh, that!" Peter said almost brightly since his friends had a legitimate cause to be cross with him. "Do I have to apologize for that? I mean it's the only decent thing I've ever brewed in Potions."

"There was nothing decent about the foul mix," Remus informed with a haunted expression as he recalled the evening before. "And most certainly not when it's working its way back up."

James had been ignoring the fraternizing of sides since he was only moderately angry with Peter all things considering. He was about to butter his second helping of toast when he saw Lily enter into the Great Hall. She scanned the table, evidently to see if James was seated there. When she caught him looking at her, Lily turned on her heel and marched right back out of the Great Hall.

"Wait!  HOLD ON THERE!" James called out as he jumped on and over the breakfast table, flipping a plate of eggs and bacon onto Remus as he vaulted. James didn't look back as he sprinted toward the doorway in spite of Professor McGonagall and some other members of the faculty calling after him.

As Remus picked off the clumps of food in front of a snickering Sirius, Peter and couple other Gryffindors, he chuckled humorlessly and ground his teeth.

"He had _better_ be in love!" Remus muttered irritably before turning his eyes on Peter and Sirius. "That funny to you two?"

"Just a bit," Sirius nodded with a smug expression.

"I think I just found my new thought for when I’m trying to conjure a Patronus Charm," Peter grinned.

Remus smiled as he pulled two sterling plates to him and slammed them together like cymbals between Sirius and Peter's ears. The loud clang emitted throughout the dinning hall and undoubtedly complicated Sirius and Peter's splitting headaches. Miserable and wincing, Peter and Sirius were glowering at Remus most unappreciatively.

"I think that will serve well as mine!" Remus announced as he placed the plates down with a satisfied smirk.

The sound of a clearing throat drew the eyes of the three boys as they noticed a most displeased Professor McGonagall peering down at them from over her spectacles.

"I hope there is most assuredly an inventive reason behind this choice in dinning etiquette for several 6th year students." Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow.

"Absolutely," Sirius agreed in an awkward but respectful tone. "Could I request a brief meeting of the minds so we can work out something plausible?"

McGonagall kept her lips tightly pressed together, but a flicker of amusement caught her eye. Of all the Hogwarts students she had come to reprimand and discipline over her years as deputy Headmistress, few had so numerously warranted (never mind entertained) her attention as much as these four Gryffindor boys.

"A reasonable request, Mr. Black." McGonagall beckoned for the three boys of her House to rise and follow her. "Let us find our Mr. Potter since I trust you'll be wanting his input on the matter."

All exhaling, the three boys abandoned their place at the table and expected the usual earful in McGonagall's office.

* * *

James had caught up to Lily just outside the Great Hall. To her credit, Lily attempted to move past James as deliberately as she could, but the Quidditch Chaser proved that he wasn't only quick on his broom. Unable to sidestep him, Lily burned her green eyes into James as she faced him.

"What?" Lily demanded curtly. Figuring she wouldn't give him much of an opportunity to speak, assuming she did at all, James went straight into his explanation.

"I waited all night in your room just for the chance to talk to you," James blurted out. Lily made a disapproving face as she rolled her eyes.

"You've certainly begun to make yourself comfortable in there, haven't you?" Lily commented dryly. Her expression looked as though it were carved from stone. James was disappointed at the direction this had taken. "So what did you want? To plead upon your friends' behalf so I wouldn't turn the lot of you in for your abysmal behavior?"

"I don't care about any of that," James replied, shaking his head. "You do whatever you need to do, Lily. Sirius and Peter were prats for doing it and Remus and I should have put our foots down when we suspected they were up to something."

"I knew _you’d_ understand my position as a Prefect, James," Lily nodded curtly as she started to walk off, but James blocked her way once more.

"This isn't what I wanted to talk about, Lily," James pleaded.

"Well this is the only conversation you're getting," Lily informed with a hiss. "After how you and your friends embarrassed me, don't expect any sudden courtesies!"

"That's what I want to talk about!" James breathed. "There are things that happened last night that I most sincerely regret, but not all of them are my fault! I can't just go about my normal life if I don't clear some of the air between us first. All I'm asking is for you to hear me out and then you can go back to hating me if that's what you want to do."

"Oh there's a surprise. James Potter wants things on _his_ terms," Lily sarcastically observed. "Considering what you got off me last night, you'll forgive me if I have little desire to give you any further satisfaction."

Lily brushed past James as she headed up the main corridor. Hearing her footsteps echo against the stone, James closed his eyes to take a breath and compose himself. He didn't want to risk loosing his temper and Lily certainly wasn't making that any small feat for him to accomplish. Still, he couldn't relent until Lily knew the truth about last night and from there, well, James would just have to see when he got there.

Just as he felt he was prepared to head back into the fray, a dry and cold voice lashed out behind James. "Well, isn't _that_ interesting?"

Although it was completely superfluous, James turned to confirm that the owner of the voice was, in fact, Snape. He held his hands behind his back. James didn't like the idea of not being able to see what was up Snape's sleeve.

"I had initially assumed Black was the one responsible for Evans' emotional unrest," Snape mused as he took a step toward James. "Rather foolish of me in hindsight, considering this whole situation bares the stench of your awkward touch, Potter."

"As much as I'd treasure dating tips from Severus Snape: The Casanova of Hogwarts, I'll somehow manage on my own," James quipped with narrowed eyes. Snape seemed a little too amused by all this for James’s liking and was suspicious of what prompted such confidence.

"Oh, I think you could stand to take a pointer or two from me, Potter," Snape disagreed with a cruel smile. James had no idea what the hell Snape was talking about, but didn't like what he was alluding to.

"Something on you mind, Snape, or, more appropriately, on the tip of your forked tongue?" James demanded. "As you may have noticed, I'm a little to preoccupied to deal with your game of innuendos."

Snape sneered before tilting his head at James.

"Come now, Potter, where's the sport in that?" Snape questioned.

"If there's anything in particular that you're looking to unburden yourself of, Snape, out with it!" James snapped irritably. He knew that shouting out meant he was losing this game with Snape, but James was much too tired and high strung to care at this point.

"As much as I'd love to see the expression on your face after such a revelation, I'm afraid there are reputations to be maintained here," Snape chided in a mocking tone. James was about to spit out a particularly nasty retort when a stern voice from behind caused him to go rigid.

"James Potter!" Professor McGonagall called to him with the remaining Marauders in toe. James sighed as the Head of his House more than put an end to his exchange with Snape.

"Looks like I'm done with your mind games for today, Snape," James informed under his breath as he headed toward the deputy Headmistress. "See you in Potions, then."

"Very well," Snape smugly relented. "If you happen to misplace me, Potter, just look for where Lily Evans is seated."

James nearly missed a step at that last jibe but refused to give Snape the satisfaction. As he allowed McGonagall to whisk him and his friends down the hall, James entertained fantasies of what he would have said or done to Snape in her absence. For his part, Snape entered the Great Hall, reveling in his guilty pleasure with a satisfied expression.

* * *

After a twenty-minute lecture on proper conduct (which was practically a social call considering the usual reasons the Marauders were typically called before McGonagall to discuss), the four boys were assigned to cleaning the Transfiguration room as well as the cages and animals within. All of this was meant to teach the Gryffindors that every mess made required someone to clean it up, and all of this was conducted under Professor McGonagall's watchful eye in between her preparations for the next day’s lesson. Although it had not been specified, the boys worked in silence. Just before noon, Professor McGonagall dismissed the Marauders from their service to her with the parting observation of:

"My, I don't believe you four have ever been this silent in my presence!"

Peter and Sirius directed themselves toward the Great Hall for lunch, as they had eaten very little that morning and had their appetites return under their labor. James asked Remus to check and see if Lily was in the Gryffindor common room, while he searched to see if she happened to be in the library, to which he agreed. After spending nearly half an hour investigating Lily's usual haunts, James worked his way back to Gryffindor tower, where he found Remus studying his Defense Against the Dark Arts text on a couch with some younger year students milling about.

"She's not here, mate," Remus reported. James nodded and took a chair across from his friend.

"Didn't find her, either," James sighed.

"She'll turn up," Remus assured. "Arabella's still under the weather."

"Paid her a visit, hmm?" James asked rhetorically.

"Yeah, poor girl is laid out on one of the couches," Remus explained, nodding in the direction of a chorus of pitiful groans. "I left her with a pot of tea for when she's up to it. She perks up every so often when she starts wishing ill on Sirius and Peter's heads."

"Don't we all?" James leaned into his hand.

"I think it would bring her a little more cheer if you gave her a visit," Remus suggested. "Arabella still fancies you, told me so amidst her purging."

"Nice to know what circumstances usually brings me into a girl's conversation," James groaned, slightly amused, before his expression dropped. "Bloody hell, I still have to tell her, don't I?"

"Not unless you want me to join Team Sirius." Remus shot a deliberate look toward James, which caused his friend to recoil.

"Don't worry, I have every intention!" James guaranteed. "You'll understand if I would prefer to wait until she's up to taking the news?"

"I suppose," Remus said stiffly. "Just don't wait too long on this. Not if you have every intention of chasing Lily about Hogwarts."

"We've got to set out in a couple of hours," James referred to Hogsmeade and the Shrieking Shack. "You reckon Padfoot and Wormtail will be accompanying us?"

"They packed for it this morning," Remus recalled with a shrug, before he jerked to attention and pointed for James's benefit. Lily had entered the common room. Spying the two boys, Lily threw her length of red hair over her shoulder as she made swift strides for the dormitory stairs. Continuing the proud tradition of furniture hopping he had founded that day, James leapt over the chair and barricaded himself in front of the stairwell so quickly that Lily almost slammed into him.

"Move," Lily ordered.

"You and I _need_ to talk," James insisted defiantly. Both their eyes shifted towards the other faces in the room that had started to take an interest in their conversation.

Clearing his throat as he relinquished his spot on couch, Remus gestured for the other Gryffindors present to follow him.

"Come along now, let's play a round of eye-spy with the Fat Lady Portrait, shall we?" Remus called. Bill Weasley shot Remus a look as though he were mad.

"What kind of ruse you think you're getting away with, Lupin?" Weasley retorted in a huff. Remus started to pull him along by the arm as the others simply followed him.

"A very obvious one. Fast track to Head Boy, young Weasley, what with a keen wit like that!" Remus grinned as he left the common room to Lily and James.

"Fine, Potter, talk fast," Lily relented now that they were alone.

"I know what you must be thinking about what happened last night, Lily," James began in quick breaths. "But what happened in the attic has nothing, _nothing_ to do with Sirius and Peter. It was an entirely separate affair."

"Oh please. Let me guess what this is about," Lily sneered. "You four need to divert my attention once again and since you were so wildly successful last time around - "

"That's just it, Lily, I had no idea," James interrupted. "I was as clueless as you about what they were prattling on about."

"So now you're going to try and convince me that what happened last night in the attic was somehow orchestrated by your friends?" Lily's tone was one of utter disbelief.

"Absolutely not." James shook his head. "I take full responsibility for everything that transpired between us upstairs: both the good and the bad. Anything past that was a complete misunderstanding. What happened was Remus gave Sirius and Peter the impression that he had sent you off so you wouldn't interrupt their very stupid scheme. After that, well, they decided it would be grand fun to make an ass out of me while they were at it themselves. I'm more than cross with Peter and Sirius at the moment, but if you talk to any of my friends, I'm sure they'd confirm that we didn't come up with anything like that beforehand."

"Oh, and I should believe your friends?" Lily commented skeptically.

"Yeah! I swear that we didn't sit around, brewing up plans to, er..." James felt more than awkward for saying this and began running his hand through his untamed hair as proof. "Um... Well, seduce you or anything," James finished quietly.

"So what? Came up with that all on your own then?" Lily pressed and watched James turn red and resume stroking his hair.

"Bloody hell, Lily!" James muttered, more than flustered. "Given my overall approach to pursuing you, do you really give me the credit of having the mental faculties to properly seduce _anyone_?!”

Lily was tempted to laugh at how seemingly insecure James was behaving, but refused to let him win her over with this schoolboy ploy.

"Alright, assuming you weren't trying to seduce me and you had nothing to do with Black and Pettigrew's thoughtlessness, that doesn't really leave us any better off," Lily replied.

"But it makes all the difference in the world!" James persisted. "What happened last night, before all this sordid business, isn't that more than enough reason to try for something, Lily?"

"Then tell me, James, " Lily locked eyes with him as she spoke, "do the same rules still apply? You're planning to either lie or omit truths to me every time it happens to overlap with ones involving your friends?”

James sighed, realizing he hadn't thought that far ahead. Once again on the spot, James tried to craft some sort of reasonable compromise between his two very strong convictions: his affections for Lily and those of his friends.

"It's just not fair of you to ask me, Lily," James commented. "You're insisting that I choose between whether I'm loyal to you or my friends. I mean, we only get pinched for _half_ the stuff we pull off and the rest is just hanging over our heads, looking for the first opportunity to come crashing down. I'm not saying it would be your intention, but if certain things about myself, Sirius, Remus, or Peter ever hit the surface, we'd be facing expulsion or worse!"

"Are you telling me you're, what, some kind of criminal?" Lily reeled slightly at James's sudden confession. James threw his hands up before him and started to violently shake his head in protest.

"No! We're not Death Eaters or anything like that!" James cringed at the thought. "We're just, well, four people who've had our lives needlessly complicated by one means or another. The sort of stuff not everyone would approve of or understand."

Figuring that James was being more or less sincere with her did little to soften Lily's resolve. She shook her head as she peered at James.

"You're right when you say it's not fair for me to make you choose between me and your friends," Lily relented. "If you're protecting them from things half as serious as you let on, then you're probably doing the right thing. But how can you just expect me to compromise my position? Maybe you could have a relationship with someone without a thought to intimacy, but I can't. I can't care for someone unwaveringly and be constantly suspicious of them at the same time. Love is trust, James."

James hated that she had a point because it made him helpless to argue against it.

"So then what do you want to do?" James asked, at a complete loss.

"I think we should just part ways and leave everything between us to what may have been," Lily sighed.

James heard this but could not accept it. He knew Lily cared about him, and so long as that was there, so was hope that they could work past this somehow, in the end. James knew he was being stubborn and relentless about this whole situation and he knew even more that Lily was to blame. After all, he wouldn't be acting like this if she wasn't completely worth it.

"If you think telling me that you've given up on us is going to be enough to dissuade me, Lily, you're dead wrong," James stated adamantly. "All that means is I have to try twice as hard to make it work."

"And what makes you so sure it can?" Lily countered. "When we both know neither one of us is going to budge a millimeter?"

"Because I was there last night," James replied. "And I know what I felt. And I know you felt it too."

More than tired of James's badgering, Lily took a step towards James with a flare in her eyes.

"You have no idea what I felt," Lily insisted pointedly. "So don't presume to tell me otherwise." But James just shook his head at this.

"Oh yes I do," James argued as he leaned in close to Lily. "I know you want and need me in every way I want and need you. And if you want to know how I can be sure of all this, it's because of how you kissed me back."

Failing to find an appropriate retort, Lily simply glared at James. James stared back with a firm and sincere quality to his eyes. He was certain of his case and wouldn't let anyone, least of all Lily, talk him out of it. Growing tired of their staring contest Lily broke away.

"I have things to do," Lily announced as she attempted to brush past James. She hadn't even reached the first step when she felt James grab her by the elbow and whisper into her ear.

"I have every intention of fighting for you, Lily," James assured in a voice that was honest and kind. "And I have every intention to win. Even if you are the opposition."

"Take your hand off me or I won't leave you with enough fingers to work a wand," Lily ordered from over her shoulder, but found it hard to keep the stern expression on her face. James smiled awkwardly and let her go before giving a small wave and walking off. Lily lingered there for a moment and sighed. She realized James wasn't going to make this easy on her but had to ask herself why he should.

After all, Lily remembered that kiss too.

* * *

Under the cover of the invisibility cloak, James, Sirius, and Remus made their way over to the Whomping Willow with Peter racing up ahead in his rat form. An awkward silence hung between the three as none dared to start a conversation out of fear of an argument starting underneath the cloak. As Wormtail deactivated the tree for the other boys to enter through, the remainder of the Marauders threw off the magical shroud. James thrusted his cloak at Sirius gruffly.

"Here. You'll need this to sneak about the castle for the Hogsmeade passage," James offered, and Sirius silently accepted before disappearing beneath it.

The boys had prearranged for Peter and Sirius to stop off at Honeydukes in the few hours they had before nightfall to gather some supplies, while James made sure Remus got to the Shack all right before his change set in. Afterwards, Sirius and Peter would just use the cloak to sneak across Hogsmeade and meet up with their friends.

Overall, both parties were content with this plan since they were still quarreling and could use the time apart to sort out their feelings. If not for the fact they had been such close friends for so long and valued their sense of obligation to one another, James figured it would have only been him and Moony at the Shrieking Shack that evening. This knowledge in and of itself provided a hope that they all would be able to resolve some of their more bitter feelings in a short time.

Remus and James entered into the dim tunnel and heard Wormtail reactivate the tree above them. As they journeyed though the uneven passage, Remus started up a conversation.

"Okay, from the beginning, what's going on with you and Lily?" Remus asked. "I got the abridged version this morning but I know there's a lot more to it than that."

"Much," James agreed before going into his long-winded explanation about his ironic concern for his and Sirius's friendship, admitting that it had been Lily's room he had stayed in that entire first night back (and the subsequent reason for their feud three weeks after), when he realized he had feelings for her, and when he first tried to get Lily to kiss him. After that, there was the entire misunderstanding with James believing Arabella and Sirius were looking to go together and her pursuit of him several weeks later until they settled upon what seemed to be a friendship over all.

"You've certainly crafted a complicated life for yourself," Remus marveled as he relived the past two months with James.

"The most dramatic of it all was last night," James sighed as he recalled the evening. "We were talking. I mean, _really_ talking and listening to one another, Moony. For a girl I've only bothered to get to know in the past year or so, Lily really understands me.

"More so than myself and the other Marauders?" Remus was curious. James shook his head.

"It's not the same sort of thing," James clarified. "It's hard to explain. I guess there are just ways your friends are supposed to understand you and ways lovers are supposed to."

"Never liked that word." Remus made a disapproving face. "'Lover'. It always seemed like something you'd apply to a frequent shag rather than a person you care about." Remus had a point.

"You're right, not lover," James agreed, somewhat flustered. "I don't think of Lily like that. Well, I do but that's not the only way I think about her. Oh, we're getting off conversation with this!"

"Who cares? I want to keep with this one!" Remus grinned. "Sounds like it's going to interesting places." Remus laughed with James.

"Well too bad!" James slightly blushed. "My love life's one thing to talk about, my sex life, however, is not public domain."

"Alright then, if we're not going to be randy then get on with your story," Remus sighed. James nodded.

"Anyway, we were talking, then Lily took my hand," James went on. "I don't know why she did it, but she did. Lily made the first move."

"Wow," Remus said, slightly stunned. He always knew Lily to be assertive and self-reliant, but he had assumed that James would be the first of them to make a move. It just seemed to be more in his nature.

"After that, I don't know, Remus." James ran his hand through his hair unconsciously. "After that I _had_ to kiss her. Not because I wanted to do it, but because it was the only thing I _could_ do."

"I'm not following…" Remus shook his head.

"I don't think I can explain it," James shrugged. "All I can say is that you end up falling into these moments of your life with other people and it all seems like one big play. As though, you don't really have a choice in what you're doing since that's just how it was meant to be. Last night, I think I was meant to kiss Lily because when I looked at her and saw how both stunningly perfect and tragically human she was all at once, I just want to be like that with her."

"I think you explained it pretty well there, Prongs," Remus approved with a small smile. "So then what happened? I mean, what went wrong?"

James cringed as the happy emotions he had when he thought about that kiss with Lily changed over to all the turmoil that followed. Going into detail about how he had to choose between revealing the existence of the invisibility cloak and confiding only somewhat in Lily, James explained how that had caused her to storm out into the misunderstanding with Sirius and Peter. Along with the utter lack of resolution he had achieved that day, James felt exhausted and frustrated all over again.

"And you told her you loved her," Remus added, remembering the conversation from that morning. James was shocked that he had forgotten that part when going over the story and felt guilty for it.

"Right," James averted his eyes. "Damn, what does it say about me that I completely forgot to mention that part?"

"Probably not the angst-ridden reason you're mind is conjuring," Remus replied. "I'm not saying that you don't love Lily or that you were lying when you said it last night, but, well, love's a hard thing to know. I just think you and Lily need a few more civil conversations and a lot more happy days to know for certain."

"So I'm not a horrible prat for saying it if that's the case?" James inquired. Remus only shook his head.

"Not in my mind," Remus assured. "Besides, it's not like you'd be the first teenager in history to jump the wand when it came to saying those three magic words."

"Okay, but what do you think overall?" James pressed. He needed to hear some perspective other than his own toiling mind, since it was obviously leading him nowhere productive. Remus was silent for a minute as he mulled over his friends predicament. Finally reaching a conclusion that seemed to correlate with everything he'd seen and heard, Remus turned to James.

"I've decided that you're an idiot, James."

Raising an eyebrow to Remus, James crossed his arms.

"If you're done channeling Snape, I'd appreciate a little insight here," James glared.

"What do you want me to say, James?" Remus rolled his eyes. "That you did everything right? That you did everything wrong? Simply put, you know where you made your mistakes in all this. That sort of awareness will be your best advantage in winning over Lily. Now here's the hard part for you: you're going to need patience, resilience, and sincerity if you have any hope of succeeding."

"But what about all the secrets between us?" James demanded.

"What about them?" Remus groaned. "Look, if you think she's worth it, if you really want to have a chance with her, tell her every last bloody thing she wants to know, James! Show her the cloak, tell her you're an animagus, tell her I'm a werewolf! Make her the fifth Marauder for all I care!"

James prepared to protest, but Remus put his hands on both of James shoulders and peered into his friend's eyes.

"Lily might be a Prefect, but she's Lily Evans first and foremost," Remus broke it all down. "The Lily Evans I know is a trustworthy, decent human being, whom I sincerely doubt would ever do anything to intentionally hurt or exploit another person. And you might very well love her for this and more. If she'd make you sincerely happy, James, I don't think _any_ person who'd claim to be your friend would ask you to betray your heart on their behalf."

Remus patted James on the shoulder.

"I wouldn't," Remus offered a halfway smile.

James felt as though a darkness had been lifted from over his head. Remus was absolutely right. James knew that he would have the help and support of all his friends if he asked for it. He also knew they would probably be thrilled for him if they knew how serious he was about all this. While these were all things James should have known, he was grateful he had Remus to remind him of them.

"You know, thank you Moony," James grinned appreciatively.

With that, the two trekked on to the Shrieking Shack to meet up with their other friends.

 * * * 

As it drew near to lights out, Lily Evans and Severus Snape, as Prefects, made their final sweeps together through the castle halls. A light exchange of conversation flowed between them as they kept an eye out for any students still roaming.

"You don't suppose James and the others will be careless enough for us to come across them?" Lily asked as her emerald eyes darted.

"Gone missing again, I assume?" Snape inquired. He was more than aware of the monthly excursions Potter and his friends enjoyed. It had been his mission for the past few years to uncover whatever it was they were up too and the most his investigations had ever gleaned was their secret had something to do with the Whomping Willow.

"I've mentioned it to Professor McGonagall since I can't imagine they're up to any good, but if they've ever been reprimanded for leaving I hear nothing about it," Lily reported.

"What about the incident last night?" Snape pressed.

"I'm sweeping that under the rug," Lily admitted reluctantly. "Not as any favor to James or his friends. I just don't want to lose any standing in McGonagall's eyes. I was going to work out some sort of in-House penance for them in exchange for my silence tonight, but they've gone and decided to spirit themselves off."

"I can understand your need to maintain your image," Snape observed. "I probably would have handled the situation similarly, though more assuredly harsh."

"Well, I doubt we will ever truly see eye to eye in our philosophies as Prefects, hmm?" Lily smiled acceptingly. "That begs the question: Why did you become a Prefect? Fancy bossing people around?"

"That's merely one of the perks," Snape demonstrated the faintest grin.

"Then what is it?" Lily persisted.

"It's simply a means to a larger end," Snape replied. "I've grown more than tired of that smug prat Potter strutting about as though he owns the school, with his cohorts in toe. They're begging for someone to put them in their places, and since no one else cares to take that task upon themselves, I have."

"You became a Prefect just to try and get James and the others in trouble or expelled?" Lily questioned, astounded. Snape merely shrugged. "Don't you find that to be a bit petty?"

"Well then, please share your altruistic motive for becoming a Prefect," Snape insisted curtly.

"Well, it's nothing particularly noble," Lily confessed. "I suppose I just have this compulsion to prove myself in the eyes of everyone. Like you, it's just a means to an end."

"For what it may be worth, you have my respect regardless of whether or not you wear that badge," Snape offered, staring on.

"Thank you, Severus," Lily smiled. "It's more than mutual on my end."

Snape suddenly stopped walking and Lily paused with him. His black eyes bore into Lily's as he spoke.

"Lily," Snape began. He spoke her first name as though trying it out for the first time. "I feel obliged to ask you something in spite of all my better judgment."

"Go on," Lily encouraged more than curious.

"The Yule Ball's a month’s time away," Snape led in. It seemed to Lily as though Snape somehow became more hardened looking as he talked, as though bracing himself against something. "Although I'd achieve a better sense of recreation at Azkaban, you know as well as I all Prefects are required to attend. As such, I was wondering if you would allow me to escort you there since, if my presence must be forced, I'd prefer to have a person, whom exists amongst the fleeting intelligent population at this school, as company."

Finished supporting his argument, Snape waited for her reply. Although this more than stunned her, Lily maintained an undaunted air about her as her mind reeled. Was this merely what Snape said it was, and all he wanted was a companion for the evening that he could feign civility to? Lily found this more than plausible since Snape didn't appear to seek out anyone's company and appeared to speak with her more out of convenience than anything else. Or had she misinterpreted their relationship all together? The idea that Snape possessed even the most remote amount of romantic interest in anyone hadn't even crossed Lily's mind before this moment. After all, he seemed to go well out of his way to make it clear that he valued his privacy and had little care for the company of others. Growing irritable in her silences, Snape exhaled through his nose.

"It's a simple yes or no question," Snape's tone was aloof, but he seemed slightly defensive. "In either regard, do me the courtesy of responding without any long-winded explanations or rationalizations. I despise it when you make unnecessary apologies."

Still wondering if Snape was being completely forthright with her, Lily recognized that she had yet to acquire a date for the ball and had even forgotten about it altogether with the drama of her life as of late. When she had thought about it, Lily half expected she'd attend with either James or Sirius, just because that seemed to be the most natural option, but now she wasn't sure how she felt about either those scenarios, all things considering. While she was fond of Snape in a certain manner, she had never in her wildest of thoughts saw them attending a function like the Yule Ball together.

Realizing that she was stalling, Lily decided that Snape did deserve the respectful response he had requested; Lily parted her lips to give her reply.

*          *          * 


	11. Worth A 1000 Words

**A/N**   My profound thanks for those who saw fit to nominate Pensieve for the Hourglass Awards.  Since the competition is more than a little stiff (Basically everyone else nominated along with me) I'd like to honestly say that I just appreciate being nominated and I'm humbled so many people think so highly of my fanfic.

*** * ***

**Chapter 11**

**~ Worth A 1000 Words ~** ****

By: _Oy! Angelina_

******Beta: _Taiyourshoes_** ****

* * *

****

It was an hour's time after daybreak as the Marauders emerged from the Whomping Willow passage and crossed the castle grounds back to Hogwarts. Once again, Sirius, James, and Remus were concealed beneath the invisibility cloak as Peter scurried about their feet in his rat form. Once they had found a place where they were certain no one could spy them, the three boys threw off the shroud and Peter returned to his normal state. After all, no one really cared if a student was up early; it was being out late that was a problem.

As expected, the foursome had resolved most of their differences throughout the night and on the way back to school that morning. Their nights away at the Shrieking Shack had always served as bonding experiences for the Marauders as it was seen as a testament to the loyalty of friends as well as their willingness to be supportive and understanding of one another. Apologies were distributed as needed and James and Sirius were even on speaking terms once again (so long as the conversation had _nothing_ to do with Lily Evans).

Operating on absolutely no rest with the promise of a long Monday ahead of them, the Marauders would be counting on a good deal of sugar and caffeine to carry them through the dry spots of the day until they could nap after classes. Remus and James were particularly worn since this was their second sleepless night and James still had Quidditch practice to look forward to. Since breakfast would be served in a little over an hour and there was little point in trying to sleep, the boys agreed to head to the library to cram for the classes they would have that day.

While all (except for maybe Peter) constituted some of the brightest minds admitted to Hogwarts, the four still had their stronger and weaker subjects and often provided a crash course for one another when someone was confused over a specific lesson. James had a scary grasp of Transfiguration, Sirius was more than adept with his Charms, Remus was lessons ahead of everyone in Defense Against the Dark Arts (along with a little practical experience), and Peter seemed to retain information for Herbology more than well. Their remaining subject they always muddled through together and were rarely worse off for it.

Cloak slung over his arm, James told his three friends to head on ahead of him and get started since he needed to return his family heirloom back to its rightful place before it was noticed. Waving brief farewells, James made his way back to the Gryffindor tower. James struggled to keep his mind from drifting over to Lily, as it so readily did, by mentally reciting his notes from Professor McGonagall's lecture on Friday for turning toads into timepieces. (This was very complicated since they had to make sure the watch kept perfect time). Their class time today would be spent putting their theory into practice.

James halted before turning the corner, as a set of familiar voices seemed to be coming his way. Quickly adjusting his cloak to avoid being spotted, James watched Lily and Arabella Figg pass along him unsuspectingly. Arabella had the same expensive looking camera from their trip to Hogsmeade swaying about her neck as they headed toward the outside. Curious as to why they were up and about so early, James stalked behind the girls and they left through the archway the boys had entered through only moments before.

"Do you think Professor Brewsteem will notice if I make a photography potion in class instead of our assigned work?" Arabella questioned as she started to take off the lens on her camera.

"I'd wager probably not, but you shouldn't neglect your lessons," Lily chided.

"I know, I know! I just want to develop all the pictures I've been taking after I finish off this roll," Arabella explained. "I would have done it all yesterday if I wasn't so busy fashioning little voodoo dolls for Sirius and Peter amidst my retching." Although she looked worlds better from what Remus had described, James guessed Arabella was still more than bitter about her hangover.

"Why not get a few pictures by the trees?" Lily suggested as she gestured over to the Forbidden Forest for Arabella's benefit.

"Good a place as any," Arabella shrugged. "Then maybe a shot or two of the lake."

Struck by a sudden, seemingly clever plot, James did what he could to quietly sprint ahead of the girls and into the forest.

"So no sign of James or the others this morning, even?" Arabella asked as they treaded on the grass.

"Not hide nor hair," Lily shook her head. "Though I assure you there will be plenty of both strewn about once I get a hold of that bunch! I'd swear they're tying to make me out to be a fool!"

"Aren't we a narcissist?" Arabella joked. "I sincerely doubt that lot devotes large blocks of time to fashioning ways to annoy you."

"So you're saying it's just a natural affect of their personalities?" Lily smiled.

"Exactly!" Arabella exclaimed as they reached the mouth of the forest. "Go on, Lily! Lean against a tree so I can get a nice pose of you!"

Obliging her friend, Lily took several steps toward a rather large oak when a mature stag made its way out of the Forbidden Forest. Jumping back with a little bit of a start, Lily reversed her movements toward Arabella.

"Oh look at that!" Arabella chirped merrily. "I didn't know deer were about in the Forbidden Forest!" She readied her camera and fired off a shot at the buck with a dark and untamed coat.

"Well, if it's been surviving in there, it’s probably carnivorous or breathes fire," Lily eyed it suspiciously. The stag studied the two girls in an amused sort of manner for a moment before trotting up to Lily and nuzzling her affectionately. Lily stiffened at first at this, but eventually relaxed as she began to pat the deer along its back.

"Careful, Lily! He's luring you into a false sense of security!" Arabella gasped dramatically. Lily made a sarcastic face as she continued to pet the evidently tamed buck.

"Certainly a pleasant creature," Lily observed in a cooing voice, afraid she might accidentally frighten the stag off. Arabella took a few steps back, camera poised

"I think I'll get a shot or two, hmm?" Arabella adjusted her lens before committing the scene to film. "He sure seems to fancy you! Looks like you found your date for the Yule Ball!"

Lily laughed as she pet the deer's head.

"It would appear so," Lily smiled. Letting her camera hang off her neck, Arabella shot Lily an inquisitive look.

"So who are you going with, since we're on the subject," Arabella demanded. "Bet you're telling the boys to form a line to the left!"

The stag's head cocked at Lily as though awaiting her response as well.

"Oh, don't you start in on me!" Lily laughed looking at the stag in disbelief. "Bad enough she's a snoop!"

"You're stal-ling!" Arabella sang. "Come on, Lily! There must be someone in this school full of handsome, young wizards that you could come off your pedestal to spend an evening with."

"Oh? And who are _you_ gracious enough to settle for?" Lily diverted the question.

"No less than the elusive Mr. Potter!" Arabella replied almost triumphantly.

Lily couldn't say she was really surprised by Arabella's answer but it still managed to shock her a bit, regardless.

"I thought you two were just friends," Lily stated as she continued to stroke the deer at her side, who seemed to suddenly get agitated.

"I'm asking him to a dance, Lily, not to walk down the bloody aisle!" Arabella laughed. "We can go as friends, though a girl can hope he won't feel so platonic once he catches sight of me in my new dress robes!"

Lily only nodded to this as she felt the stag relax under her touch. Averting Arabella's eyes, Lily felt more than a little intimidated by the comely blonde, whose perky attitude and winning smile were things not easily rivaled. Between her attractive looks and charming personality, Lily was almost worried that Arabella might not be entertaining false hopes. After all, she had been giving James the cold shoulder lately and maybe he was looking for someone to warm up to.

"Well, good luck with that," Lily tried to sound sarcastic even though she was feeling defensive. "I very much doubt James could manage to find his way into his dress robes, considering he's too much of a wanker to find his way back to bed last night."

Arabella giggled a bit before stopping with a quizzical expression.

"Well, that's odd," Arabella noted as she watched the stag. "Is it just me, or did it look like he just gave off a pissy snort and roll his eyes?"

Lily smiled at the deer as she ran a hand down its neck.

"Fan of James, eh?" Lily commented empathetically. "Well, he can be decent in those sparse instances it occurs to him."

"Now, if you're done using James to distract me, why not answer my question?" Arabella teased. "You'd look smashing on Sirius's arm and I know he's dying to take you."

"Well, that may be, but he's categorized under ‘prat’ in my book at the moment," Lily huffed. Sirius hadn't even bothered to offer her a proper apology yet. Although James had decided to mix a bit more tension into this, at least he had attempted to make peace with her the day before.

"Then who do you plan on taking?" Arabella whined impatiently.

"Umm, well the boy I had hoped to go with - that won't be working out for me," Lily confessed glumly. Arabella's brow knitted together with a look of concern.

"Why not?" Arabella demanded, offended on her friend's behalf. "Is he terminally thick or something? Spurning you would get his arse kicked by half the school, myself heading up the parade!"

Lily smiled at the protectiveness of her friend and shook her head.

"No, actually he seems to be very interested in me," Lily clarified, and Arabella grew more confused.

"So then, what's the problem?" Arabella shrugged. "I mean, if you fancy him and he fancies you, what else do you need?"

"Honesty, for starters," Lily sighed.

"Bold face liar, is he?" Arabella offered a weak smile.

"When it suits him, yes," Lily smiled a bit. "Of course, he's so bad at it I can't imagine how he ever gets away with anything."

"Maybe he's just bad around you," Arabella suggested. "Maybe he really wants to be honest."

"Maybe," Lily replied thoughtfully. "Still, it's a complicated sort of thing that would only get more muddled if we went to the ball together. It's like putting a lid on a boiling cauldron. Everyone can go about ignoring it until is boils over and makes a bigger mess than before."

"Well, what makes it so difficult in the end?" Arabella attempted to understand.

"He's the brilliant author of his own life, but seems to have trouble ever recognizing the needs and motivations of everyone around him," Lily tried to rationalize. "He's so caught up in telling this grand and epic tale, everything that would make it sincere somehow gets lost between the pages. I trust when people are retelling the events of his life, it will be a very good story. I just don't think it will be a happy one at the end."

"And you need that?" Arabella walked over to Lily and put a hand on her shoulder. "Some white knight to come along and carry you off like a princess into the sunset?"

Lily shook her head.

"Nothing so gallant," Lily corrected. "I'd just be thrilled with a good, old fashioned 'and they lived happily ever after'."

"Oh, I always hated those!" Arabella crinkled her face, causing Lily to laugh. "For all you know they could up and die right after that! It's not like it specifies how long they go on to  'happily live'."

"What does it matter?" Lily challenged. "I mean, if they were blissful and in love, who cares if they lived to be nineteen or ninety?"

"I guess not, but the former would make for a grim sort of tale," Arabella shrugged. "Getting offed so young..."

"Well, yeah," Lily relented. "But, they died beautiful, in the peak of their lives, never having to question one another's love. It would be like living fast and free, without ever having to worry about the world catching up to you, as it's bound to do."

"That's how I feel with James," Arabella sighed romantically. Lily tried not to roll her eyes, but guessed she wasn't the only woman James had this sort of affect on.

"It's good that you're head over heels for James, you'll be needing that," Lily observed solemnly.

"Why do you say that?" Arabella pressed.

"It will be a lot harder for him to go about, disappointing you, what with all his walking on water." Lily's expression was more than amused as Arabella's jaw went slack a bit as she tried to be indignant.

"You're horrible!" Arabella just laughed. "Come on, let's see if breakfast is out. If you're going to make fun of me, I may as well be eating while you do!"

Lily gave the buck a few more loving strokes before patting it on its head.

"Well, we're off, Mr., er…" Lily searched her mind before turning to Arabella. "We didn't bother to name him."

"Can I put a vote in for Mr. Coat Rack?" Arabella smirked.

"Okay, now _that_ time he rolled his eyes," Lily chuckled as she walked off with Arabella and gave the deer a wave goodbye. "See you around, Mr. Buck. Don't be a stranger and we'll work on a proper name for you for the next time we meet."

As the girl's disappeared into the body of Hogwarts castle, the stag trotted back into the Forbidden Forest, to where he had left his invisibility cloak. Reverting back to his usual human form, James Potter sighed as he made his way back to the school.

"Great, now if I can only resign myself to being her pet deer, Lily and I will get along famously," James muttered to himself as he over-stepped a large root.

Although few truly dangerous or bizarre creatures ever bothered to venture out of the heart of the Forbidden Forest, James kept his wits about him and his wand at his side as he strolled. Spying the clearing a few paces ahead, James replayed Lily and Arabella's conversation and felt more than a little depressed. It was evident that Lily seemed to really like him but it wasn't fair to expect her to do all the compromising if they were going to have a shot together.

When she had been alluding to him, James thought a lot of what she’d said was right. He was very insistent upon getting his way and found himself more than oblivious at times to whether it came at someone else's expense. The only way James could feel worse about his selfishness is if he knew he did it intentionally. He hoped he'd be able to let Arabella down once and for all without it hurting her too much, since James was sure, if he could dictate matters of the heart, he could have been more than smitten with the energetic girl. James decided that Lily was right and he needed to devote a little more substance to the manner in which he conducted his life. Now all he had to do was figure out how to give himself, Lily, and even the sweet Arabella a happy ending.

Still, James never pegged Lily as such a romantic.

* * *

A popular class in spite of the frequent injuries to Professor Kettleburn, Care for Magical Creatures had the Marauders, Lily, Arabella, and most of the other 6th year Gryffindors together. As opposed to virtually every other subject, the boys in their three and a half years in the class had come to behave slightly more seriously during the period since they were partial to all their limbs and fingers. What made the class most enjoyable was the utter lack of Snape and most of the nastier Slytherins in their year who thought themselves above adorable creatures and majestic beasts. Kettleburn carried out a crate with ten jars filled with insects before turning to address his students.

"Since I'm still nursing the wounds inflicted from the Cockatrices we handled last Friday, I've decided on a far less combustible activity for today," Professor Kettleburn introduced. "We will be working with some Bowtruckles in the Forbidden Forest. Anyone care to explain what a Bowtruckle is for the benefit of the class? Ah, of course, Miss Evans."

"Bowtruckles are nature guardians, native to Western England, Germany, and Scandinavia. They inhabit trees, feeding off insects and look as though they were made from bark and leaves themselves. They are traditionally peaceful but become exceptionally hostile if they feel the tree they are protecting is being threatened," Lily reported.

"Good then, ten points to Gryffindor," Kettleburn nodded approvingly. "Alright then, everyone understand all that? Your assignment for today is to walk a bit into the forest, find a Bowtruckle, and try to make friends with it. You can never have too many friends in the Forbidden Forest. You will work in pairs but travel in groups of six, just to be on the safe side. Each duo will have a jar of insects to offer to the Bowtruckles they come across and I _cannot_ encourage you enough to not come across as a menace."

Kettleburn looked thoughtfully at the Marauders, pointing a bandaged hand at James and Sirius.

"Potter!  Black!" He said in an accusing voice. "Weren't you the two who attempted to ride off on that Hippogriff 3rd year?"

"Er, yes," James admitted, stifling a grin at the memory. It was filed under the "it seemed like a good idea at the time" events in James's life.

"Lasted eight seconds ‘til she started bucking!" Sirius said a little too proudly. Some of the class snickered then.

"Yes, well, I don't think I'll be letting you two collaborate on this one." Kettleburn didn't seem to find the instance as amusing as his students. "Mr. Black can partner with his Prefect, and perhaps if Miss Figg's safety is an issue, it will provide Mr. Potter a moment of pause. Alright now, that said, find a partner the rest of you, grab a jar, and set out with two other pairs. Keep in sight on one another!"

As everyone else began to pair up, Sirius made his was over to Lily as he watched Arabella drag James off excitedly with her. Lily nodded in acknowledgement, but appeared to be stiff in dealing with Sirius. Of course, he recognized it was more than warranted, given the past few days.

"If you're planning on mounting a Bowtruckle, I'm just letting him have at you," Lily warned as she grabbed a jar and followed Remus, Peter, James, and Arabella into the Forbidden Forest. "Don't suppose you'll be telling me about where you and your friends were last night?"

"Sorry, can't," Sirius smiled apologetically. "Nothing personal."

Making sure his friends were all invested in their own conversations, Sirius turned to Lily with his most sincere expression.

"Um, look, Lily," Sirius started awkwardly. "I know this is a day over due, but I'm sorry about my behavior Saturday night. They'll be redefining the term "git" thanks to me and Peter and I assure you that we won't be blind-siding you like that again. We could have gotten you in trouble with McGonagall and that's not right since you've been a more than pleasant Prefect to us, all things considering. Anyway, no more drinking parties unless you give the go ahead and Peter and I will NEVER attempt to brew our own alcohol ever. There are more kindly poisons I know of than what we passed about. But seriously, sorry."

"Well, so long as you can admit it," Lily sighed and accepted the apology since it sounded more than heartfelt. "But I still plan on punishing the lot of you for all the discord you caused me that night. I don't want Professor McGonagall to get involved if I don't have to, but I have to make an example so the other students won't think I'm a push over."

"Absolutely!" Sirius agreed. "You name our penance and we shall serve it out with smiles."

"Tell you're friends they can expect to tutor some of the younger year students from now until Winter Holiday, practically every evening," Lily informed and Sirius took it with a grin. "That should keep you all out of trouble and where I can see you. That and it will be a help to a couple of the struggling students in the House."

"Sure thing then!" Sirius agreed. 

"And please don't corrupt them as you've done so marvelously with yourselves," Lily pleaded while Sirius laughed. They both were scanning the trees, hoping to catch sight of a thoroughly camouflaged Bowtruckle.

"Got it, no extra credit or field trips," Sirius nodded before shyly glancing over at Lily. "So… Are we alright then?"

"I suppose we are now," Lily decided with a smile.

"Good," Sirius took a glance to make sure the rest of the class was out of earshot for their conversation, "because I want to talk to you on behalf of James."

"Oh, trust me, James doesn't need your help to talk on his behalf," Lily replied with a snort.

"Actually, I think he does," Sirius argued. "You're a great girl, Lily, but hardheaded at times. And what I said at the party, well that was a case of crossed signals. James really didn't know what Peter and I were up too so he wasn't using you or anything like that."

"He's already set me straight," Lily stated.

"James also gave me the impression, no details mind you, that you two were getting along pretty well before hand," Sirius continued on. "And well, if that's true then I think you should give the boy a fair go. He's the best friend a bloke could ask for and I'm sure that's only half of what he's capable of as a boyfriend."

Lily stopped walking to stare up at Sirius with a sympathetic expression.

"James is lucky to have a person like you speak so highly of him," Lily complimented. "But he and I have things we need to work out between us before I can even consider such a thing."

"Well, couldn't you think about it at the Yule Ball… with him?" Sirius tried. "I mean, even if nothing comes of it, I'm sure we'd all have a good time!"

"I think Arabella is planning on doing that," Lily informed Sirius.

"Yeah, but James wants to go with _you_ ," Sirius stated as though to close the subject. "I understand that Arabella is really sweet on James but she's fond of you too. I think if she knew what it meant to the two of you, ' Bella would be more than reasonable."

"There's more to it than that," Lily insisted.

"No, there isn't!" Sirius countered. "I'll take Arabella to the dance, she'll have a grand time and won't even look twice at you and James. It's that simple."

"I... already have plans for the ball," Lily said while clearing her throat.

"Oh, come on now!" Sirius spoke as though offended. "Who'd be mad enough to do a thing like that?"

Insulted, Lily threw Sirius a cross glare that he shrank defensively away from.

"No, not that no one would _want_ to take you," Sirius clarified. "All I meant by it was half the school thinks you're going with me and the other half figures you and James are a couple. I just can't think of anyone who'd be brash enough to challenge a couple of guys as manic as us."

"Severus Snape," Lily answered.

"Oh, well, yeah that prat would - " Sirius stopped half way through his sentence. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!"

The other Marauders and Arabella all turned to look at Sirius, who smiled and pretended to investigate a shrub.

"…that nightshade _isn’t_ edible!" Sirius covered his outburst. "Fascinating stuff Herbology!" 

The other four in the pack turned back to their own assignment and ignored Sirius's weirdness. No longer paying attention to either him or Lily, Sirius turned to her.

"I'm sorry, I have a little insanity caught in my ear!" Sirius hissed in disbelief. "What would possess you to say yes to going to the ball with _Snivellou Snapes_?"

"Are you done with the theatrics, Sirius?" Lily growled. "I don't see how this is any of your business."

"It is if you're just looking to get back at James!" Sirius declared. "I mean, you want to be mad at him, fine! That doesn't mean you need to use Snape as a bid to make my friend jealous. Trust me, he'll find ways to act irrational and deranged all his own!"

"How dare you!" Lily glowered. "Did you just imply that I'm using Severus as some pawn to throw at James?"

"Well then, why don't you clarify for me what the appeal is?" Sirius pressed.

"All the Prefects have to attend whether they want to go or not. Severus hates these sorts of things and would be miserable otherwise. So he asked me to accompany him so he'd have someone as talk to!" Lily justified. "It's nothing more impressive than a friends thing. I assure you, I can think of better ways to spend my time with Severus than to rile up James!"

"Yeah, and I'm sure the same goes for Snape," Sirius sneered. "If you catch my meaning."

"Sirius, the _Bowtruckles_ caught your meaning!" Lily said in a huff before turning over to Peter and Remus. "Remus! Trade partners with me, please!"

Remus glanced over to the two quizzically.  "What makes you think I want him?" 

"Please!" Lily breathed desperately. "I'm not getting any work done."

Checking with Peter, who only shrugged in ambivalence, Remus and Lily traded off. Stepping up by Sirius, who was glowering, Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, what did you do?" Remus accused. "You're not still looking to usurp her from James, are you?"

"No!" Sirius insisted. "In fact, I'm trying to help him, but Lily certainly won't make that a simple sort of chore."

"Yeah, because she's so easy on James," Remus commented dryly. "Let's just find a damn Bowtruckle, hmm?" With his new partner, Sirius tried to find something to feed Remus's jar of insects to. More than once, Sirius was tempted to pass along what Lily had just told him, but held his tongue.

He wanted to talk to Snape first before he raised an alarm.

* * *

In the drafty Potions dungeon, the Gryffindors and Slytherins congregated amidst themselves as they prepared to brew batches of Fire Repelling Draughts (which Brewsteem emphasized _would not_ be tested in class). As usual, the Potions Mistress left the class to work out their partner arrangements for themselves and only bothered to address them with the occasional nervous comment about in-class safety.

"I swear, with all her hissing and pacing, you'd think she was one of Arabella's thirty cats!" Peter chuckled under his breath, prompting Arabella to elbow him in the side.

"My pretties are nowhere near _that_ high strung," Arabella informed indignantly. "You're my partner for today because I think I shall like to yell at you more."

"Great, always wanted a second mother," Peter muttered as he set his stuff down next to Arabella.

Sirius moved past the two Gryffindors and took the stool next to Snape in the corner of the classroom. Snape gave Sirius a glare of hatred and disbelief.

"Something in particular I can reject helping you with, Black?" Snape demanded as he watched Sirius start to pull out his Potions' equipment.

"You're going to be my partner today!" Sirius flashed an obnoxiously broad smile at the Slytherin boy as he made it clear it wasn't to be taken as a request.

"The hell I am," Snape corrected.

Lily entered the room with James just behind her and caught sight of the bizarre scene.

"What's Sirius playing at? Why would he want to be Snape's partner?" Lily nudged James as she observed the conversation. "He's just looking to stir up trouble!"

Lily moved to say something to Sirius, but James caught her arm.

"Hold on, now," James urged, seeing this as an opportunity to take Lily as his own partner. "Snape's a Prefect too, isn't he? He should be able to handle Sirius if he gets out of hand. Besides, I don't reckon Snape would appreciate having a Gryffindor girl come along and rescue him in front of his House."

Lily weighed James's words in her mind. She knew Sirius was probably planning to harass Snape for taking her to the ball, but also realized that James was right and she would only end up embarrassing all three of them if she went over. Breathing a heavy sigh, Lily found a station with James.

"Last chance to go along peacefully with this," Sirius warned Snape.

"Take your one man spectacle over to Potter's end of the dungeon," Snape ordered definitively. Sirius shrugged as he stood up to address their Potions Mistress (and subsequently the class) in a loud and projected voice.

"Professor Brewsteem!" The instructor seemed to cringe at being involved in the class.

"Mr. Black?" she questioned warily as Sirius threw up his most charming grin.

"I'm a little unclear on the lesson for today, seeing as I'm far more adept at setting things aflame rather than repelling fire. I'd like to work with Snape so I'll be sure to understand it," Sirius explained in an innocent sounding voice. Snape rolled his eyes while the rest of the class murmured or snickered.

"Wouldn't it be less… traumatic for all involved if you simply worked with either Miss Evans, Miss Meeks, or Mr. Potter?" Brewsteem questioned as she eyed the smiling Gryffindor. "They're each in your house and just as capable in Potions as Mr. Snape."

"Oh, and I would normally agree with that, Professor! But I'm afraid I'm far too muddled to afford being distracted by either of them," Sirius assured without breaking his smile. "I mean, James is hilarious and as big a prat as myself.  As for Millicent, I have far too much respect for her deservedly high grade average than to attach a sinking stone like myself to her work and Lily, you ravishing Veela! How can you expect any bloke to keep his mind on his work around you? "

Sirius threw a wink at Lily, to which she responded with a disgruntled noise from the back of her throat. James had his nose pressed into his Potions book so no one could see him stifling his laugher (shared by half the class) until Lestrange spoke up.

"If that's true, then why do you suppose Potter's immune to that Mud – I mean, _Muggle-Born’s_ feminine charms?" The Slytherins cackled at their peer's innuendo while James threw a cross look their way. Lily buried her face into her hand.

"In summation, since Snape is utterly unappealing to me on an emotional _or_ physical level," The class watched Snape bristle as Sirius gave him a swift pat on the back, "I'd like to partner with him!"

"If I say 'yes', will it end this conversation?" Brewsteem asked in a tired voice as she took note of the discord in her class.

"Not on my part," Snape assured as he started to rise, but Sirius roughly pushed him back down into his seat.

"Also, I think Snape could use my help with handling the ingredients," Sirius added.

"I fail to see how you could be of any help to me, Black," Snape retorted in his most condescending tone.

"You will if I break both your hands for protesting too much," Sirius replied under his breath so only Snape could hear without breaking his grin. More than annoyed with the futility of his complaints, Snape's lips tightened into a furious sneer as he settled into his seat.

"Fine," Snape said curtly through his teeth.

"I thank you for your attention, as always you all have been a grand audiance" Sirius expressed his gratitude with a bow as he joined his new partner. Slowly the class went back to their assignment and Professor Brewsteem returned to staring vacantly from her seat.

"The shallow recesses of your mind cannot begin to fathom how many points your little stunt has cost Gryffindor," Snape informed as he set up his cauldron.

"Yes, we all stand in awe of the mighty prefect badge," Sirius mocked as he began to mince the salamander tongue. Sirius had completely dropped his charming act and was doing what he could to be more than menacing. "I want to know what you think you're doing with Lily Evans."

"Already bragging about her plans, is she?" Snape smirked at Sirius's evident annoyance.

"Don't play games with me, you conniving git!" Sirius snapped. "Or I swear you'll find I lack the restraint James has when it comes to bashing in your snooping nose."

"Go ahead, Black," Snape's black eyes shined. "It will be a very happy holiday for me to see the expression on your face when they expel you for assaulting a Prefect."

Snape studied Sirius's expression and smugly grinned, as both knew he had just called the Gryffindor's bluff.

"I thought not," Snape spat out. "Don't confused me with someone who gives a damn about your idle threats. Of all the things that have the potential of intimidating me, Black, I assure you spoiled, pretty boys from rich families don't even make the list."

"You're taking Lily to the ball over my dead body," Sirius declared.

"You say that as though it can't be arranged," Snape parried.

"Look, we could flirt back and forth like this all afternoon..." Sirius ground his teeth. " But I'm just going to lay it out straight. Whatever you have planned for the Yule Ball isn't going to happen. I'm not going to let you use Lily just to piss James off or humiliate her just because she's Muggle born, or however else you Slytherins get your wands off."

"Last I checked, Evans is more than capable of managing the affairs of her own life. As I am my own," Snape bared his yellowish teeth. "Regardless of however you and Potter will contrive this situation in order to spare your raging egos, know that she accepted entirely of her own accord. And if that's not good enough for you, may I recommend drowning your sorrows in some other attractive co-ed?"

Sirius was seeing red and took deep breaths to avoid smashing a beaker into the side of Snape's head.

"There's nothing you can do to persuade me to retract my offer, and only Evans has the right to refuse it," Snape informed. "So why don't you save your ragged breath, Black?"

Certain that Snape was only playing at some means to hurt Lily, Sirius was frustrated that he wasn't able to advert the danger. Sirius had kind of hoped that he would have been able to drive Snape off, but knew that wasn't going to happen since he was so insistent upon being a bastard about it. Knowing that he'd probably be seeing a whole lot of Madam Pomfrey if he tried to dissuade Lily again, Sirius was struck by a third option that wouldn't win him many friends but would piss Snape off royally.

"Won't do things the easy way then?" Sirius's eyes flickered, but didn't blink. He felt more than a little manic at the moment. "Hope you're into threesomes, then, because I plan on being your shadow that night!" In the meantime, Sirius could only hope that, once he found out, James would put forth a more valiant and effective effort than he had.

Sirius flashed an obnoxious grin at Snape's seething glower, and hastily gathered up his supplies.

"Well thank you for your time, Snape, but I think I have it now!" Sirius announced in a booming voice to the class, causing a couple of groups to shoot Sirius unappreciative glares as they almost tipped their cauldrons over. Sirius made his way over to Remus and a Slytherin called Nott's station. "Oi, Nott! Get the _hell_ away from _my_ partner!"

Professor Brewsteem sighed as she massaged her temple and looked over to Arabella and Peter, who were seated the closest to her.

"You two, your new assignment is to whip me up a headache tonic," Brewsteem instructed over Remus's protests of being partnered with Sirius again. This seemed to be an open invitation for a verbal melee throughout the dungeon.

"You'll be forever known to the Gryffindors as St. Remus if you keep Sirius away from the rest of us!"

"Put a stopper in it, Black, before we see how well Lupin's Fire Repellent really works!"

"Why don't you slither up here and hiss that to my face, Avery!"

It was most assuredly a Monday in Potions.

* * * 

Returning to their dormitories after lessons, the Marauders started to pull the curtains against their windows, bringing a false night to their bedroom. Peter and Remus both flopped on their beds, pathetically mumbling about their wish to sleep. Sirius looked a little too high strung to turn in right away and James had practice on the pitch in half an hour.

"Lucky, sodding prats," James muttered bitterly as he started to change into his Quidditch robes.

"It gets worse," Sirius assured. "Lily's going to have us tutor the under classmen as punishment for sneaking out and the party on Saturday. We have our afternoons planned from now until holiday."

The Marauders shared a groan as Sirius could only shrug.

"It's either that or McGonagall," Sirius put things into perspective.

"Great, so now, after I'm done helping some 1st year squibs with turning a beetle into a button I get to start on my _own_ work?" James moaned as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"I always said our James was a philanthropist at heart," Remus sarcastically commented. "Not all of us are as brilliant as you James."

"He's just cranky because he hasn't slept in two days," Sirius diagnosed.

"Bullocks to that!" James protested. "The sleep deprivation only makes me stronger."

"You'll be singing a different tune later," Remus reported. "We're due for Astronomy tonight."

James stopped dressing to gape at Remus in shock before remembering that he was right and proceeded to start stomping about the room in frustration.

"Bloody hell! I'm never sleeping again!" James moaned.

James collapsed on his bed to scream into his pillow and hit the headboard in a tantrum. Remus laughed madly on his back, staring at the ceiling while listening to his friend's fit. Peter turned to Sirius. They were both propped on their elbows watching James with amusement.

"You know, it's an odd thing," Peter smirked. "For once I _don’t_ envy Prongs."

Recollecting himself, James finished pulling on the rest of his robes and grabbed his broom. He threw the door open and muttered something about getting to sleep once he was dead. Sirius jumped off the bed to follow after James.

"Here, I'll walk you to the pitch!" Sirius offered as he joined James at his side.

"Act of pity or something on your mind, Padfoot?" James questioned as they made their way out of Gryffindor Tower.

"Yeah. I was hoping we could discuss Lily for a bit." Sirius cleared his throat. James stole an uncertain glance at Sirius before he locked his sight ahead.

"Sure. I was probably going to bring it up if you didn't," James agreed awkwardly. "I was curious to know what was going on with you, her, and Snape today. I mean, you were peculiar even for you."

"It's not for the reasons you're probably assuming," Sirius assured. "I spent the whole day working on ways to get you a clear shot at Lily. I'm giving in to you, James. I think you're more serious about Lily than I ever was."

James looked at Sirius again, first in disbelief, then with relief. He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder and smiled apologetically.

"I'm really sorry this happened," James insisted, but Sirius shook his head.

"I'm not. Never seen you happier, mate." Sirius smiled briefly before his expression fell grim. "That's why I hate to tell you this."

"What is it?" James questioned with his brow furrowed. Sirius looked to his feet as his hands searched for a place to hide in his pockets. Taking a sharp gasp, Sirius locked eyes with his best friend.

"James, Lily's going to the Yule Ball with Snape," Sirius said matter-of-factly. James reacted as though Sirius had just slapped him in the face.

"You're sure?" James pressed in a hollow voice.

"I heard it from Lily and confirmed it with Snape," Sirius nodded solemnly. "James, I've done everything I could think of to remedy the situation, but…"

"No, it's alright." James felt nauseous at the thought of the girl he adored hanging off the arm of the person he loathed most. "Not your fault."

"We're going to fix this Prongs!" Sirius vowed as they exited the castle. "You and I will put our clever heads together and come up with a brilliant means to trade Snape out for you. I'm sure Remus and Peter will help us too. This isn't the end of it, James."

"No, I suppose it isn't." The shock hadn't left James's tone. He glanced over to the pitch and adjusted his grip on his broom. "Well, thanks for walking me. I need to ponder on this a bit, I guess. Maybe flying will clear my head."

Sirius nodded along as all words of comfort failed him.

"Yeah, I'll see you at dinner then," Sirius waved as he walked back to the castle, feeling more miserable on his friend's behalf than he ever felt for himself. Even if you lost a girl to your best friend, you at least could be certain they were both ending up with a good person. But to your enemy...

Heading back to the dormitories, Sirius brooded over his vow to James and tried to think of the best way to realize it. While walking along one of Hogwarts’ main corridors, Snape was passing along his left. Sirius locked eyes with the Slytherin boy, but neither said anything. The hatred in their glares expressed more than words could ever say. Catching the smug, triumphant look over Snape's pasty features, Sirius felt himself making a new vow:

He would spare no expense, nor stop at any prank, to wipe that look from Snape's face.

* * *

Arabella could hear Sirius swearing something about Snape from her room. Shaking her head at the usual angst, she went back to developing her photographs. In her bathroom-turned-darkroom, Arabella was surrounded by a bunch of Muggle style photographs, just waiting for a breath of life. Arabella was precisely mixing the Potion that she would use to animate the images and memories she had preserved on film, since she didn't want to risk damaging them.

Her first and failed batch had left an entire roll of pictures of her cats irreparably motionless. Deciding that still shots of her cats were better than none and thankful that she hadn't damaged any of her more favored photographs, Arabella was sure she had it right this time and decided to test it on some of the shots she had taken just that morning.

Finding the ones with Lily and the stag from the Forbidden Forest, Arabella poured the potion into a basin and dipped the picture in. Adjusting the glasses she occasionally dawned for reading and close inspections, Arabella's cat-like eyes awaited results. She watched as the preserved character of Lily began to stoke the deer, occasionally turning her smile away from it to grin out from the photo. Arabella giggled merrily as she studied her creation.

"I swear, that randy stag keeps winking at Lily," Arabella laughed to herself as the hung the picture to dry along a cord.

Happy that it appeared to be working and nothing had combusted yet, Arabella went to work on the remainder of the film until she came across the ones she had taken at Hogsmeade.

"Oh, these are going to be smashing!" Arabella beamed as she started to animate the memories, reliving them all over again. When she came upon the picture of her, Lily, and the usual Gryffindor foursome of boys, Arabella silently predicted this would be her favorite shot. Dipping it into the solution, Arabella watched.

It was taken just before they were all on their way back to Hogwarts. From left to right it was Remus, Sirius, Lily, James, Arabella, and Peter. Most of the time, everyone was facing forward, laughing or smiling out of the picture, with the occasional adoring glance Sirius would cast Lily's way when he drew her a bit closer or one Arabella would direct towards James as she squeezed his arm. But neither James nor Lily seemed to notice all this in the photograph.

They were too busy staring longingly at one another.

Feeling the smile drain off her face, as though someone had just pulled the stopper, Arabella's eyes darted over the photo for several long moments before she looked away.

"Oh, bloody hell," Arabella sighed as she hung the photo along with the rest and finished the remaining pictures with far less enthusiasm. 


End file.
